Should I ask my boyfriend about boundaries, etc?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend asked me out right before spring break (we’re in college) and we had only been friends at that point (hadn’t even hugged). Now we will not see each other for at least 5mos. most likely because we live very far away, although we still text, FaceTime, etc.. We’ve not discussed physical boundaries because we haven’t been spending time in person, but I don’t think I’m comfortable having sex until after college. Should I bring this up with him? I just don’t want us wasting our time if we’re not on the same page about stuff.

[btbc92]

You always discussed this before you date. You always screen these things before you date. As friends, if you both knew you wanted to date, this should have been talked about and discussed then. NOT after dating, before you have these problems and it can lead to other potential issues or even a breakup. Yes, you must absolutely positively tell him, ALL of your concerns, issues, boundaries, expectations, etc. I highly suggest that premarital sex is a no-no, and sex is for marriage. Because if you have sex before then, there is a chance both of you won't make it to even staying together, growing old or getting married. If you expect to only be sexual with him, please wait to get married. You can get married right after college which depending on your degree program is not more than 4 years approximately. However, but warned, 9/10x he is not going to want to wait for 4 years for sex. Unless he believes in waiting too, he is going to be sexually frustrated and go elsewhere. Telling you by experience, as to one of the top main reasons why I never dated.

[Secret6620]

I think this would be a perfect time for you to place some healthy boundaries with him... 💖

[Secret6620]

YAY!!! Thanks for most helpful girl!!! 💎

[JJ_Bear]

Absolutely bring it up, it's fair to have that convo for both. You shouldn't have to hide or be ashamed about something that's important to you. Especially with the one person you should be able to be vulnerable & the truest version of yourself. If he can't accept and respect or support you, then you've avoided wasting anymore time on the wrong person.

[Shamalien]

You are under no obligation to provide sex to him in my opinion. If he's expecting it and doesn't get it, that's his bloody fault. If y'all were married or engaged, that would be a different story, that's real commitment.

[jakerson181]

If you won't see him for 5 months and there's not another guy close by you want to start spending time with, there's probably no rush to bring it up now unless he keeps asking about it.

[Ivansech]

You should bring it up and settle the matter as soon as possible, set the boundaries early on to avoid misunderstandings in future

[theCobbler]

Yes , indeed ! Be honest with yourself and him, tell him exactly what you want and talk about boundaries! Don't talk about it with texting though or face time ; one on one, in a private conversation!

[najekim]

Before setting any boundaries find out expectations in the future of the relationship when you guys do get together face-to-face. Then take it from there.

[Avicenna]

You definitely should bring it up ASAP, because it's important.

[winterfox10]

Yes, of course you should. How can you be on the same page if you don't know what each other thinks?

[MeatPuppet]

You absolutely should tell him about your boundaries so that he knows where you stand.

[hardyrichanddowning]

Sounds like the perfect opportunity to talk about those private things. Set up your relationship for when you can physically be with one another.

[MarthaStewert]

Yes! Always be open and honest in relationships.

[Smirnoff23]

Bring it up Ur choice what happens with your body

[Numbnuts89]

Yes!