Not sure what to do, but I know I want to give it a chance, advice?

First off I am not an easy person to impress and I don't fall easy, it takes a lot for a man to impress me as I approach my thirties. I was talking to a guy since November, and in Jan. we started talking more and then started dating. We dated around 1 and half months before we slept together (he was a virgin by religous choice, and had a bit of regret later on, however we discussed it and it was over not waiting not this issue of being with me), and we continued to date and be intimate but made sure to not always be intimate after a date etc. Everything has been good and this last Sunday we talked nearly 5 hours and discussed everything from past relationships to marriage issues (he brought them up). Things left really good and Monday we texted and he said he was sick and snapped once then apologized because he said he felt really bad and needed sleep. Tuesday I texted him rather late (he usually workds 12 plus hours and often times does not get off till around 11 or so. He returned my earlier text but was short with the response I waved it off ebcasue I know he was feeling terrible as he was conteplting going to the hospital. I made a joke he should wait till after our trip and he should go with me on it and he snapped again that that's not what he meant he felt sh*tty now. He gets grumpy when he's sick, so I again waved itoff and he was good the next text. I remembered later that evening I forgot to ask if he would for sure or not be making it on an outing we were iffy on. He didn't return my text the next day so I waitied another day and texted to say hi and see how he was and tried calling during my brake once. We usually play phone tag so that's normal. However, its now been 2 days since he responded to my question and a day that I have not heard from my call. I am not going to call or text anymore since the ball is in his court, but is this a blowoff, or is he scared of committment which most my male friends think. I don't want to lose this chance, and I would like to know what I can if anything . I m not going to bug him or anything, but I don't want to lose this guy without a fight if that makes sense. I'm not the type to keep calling or texting either. Please only helpful responses, none of the he hates you get over it that I see on some posts, I'm honesty am at a loss of what to do and normally Id just off and forget him but this one really made an impact on me and in teh short time I could see a real futre and while there are more men out there, this one there's something.

I should add that the no talking is no longer in place and he is making contact but its stilited. Should I just reply only when he calls or texts and let him make the initial contact? I'm wondering if he is confused, just wants to be friends (although the texts arnt even like that) or he's just too nice to just say hey sorry not interested.


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What Guys Said 1

  • It all depends on the trip your planning on. If its an intimate trip then I would say that he is afraid and doesn't want to make that kind of commitment just yet. If your trip is like going hiking, fishing then he is blowing you off. If a man in his 30's is still a virgin then I believe he will never be able to make any real commitment to a woman. You are his first he's felling like him self. Go to his place and talk to him. He doesn't know what is expected of him he needs you to tell him. If that's the case I'm sorry. I hope this makes since and that it helps good luck.

    • The trip wasn't intimate, but I guess it was as if he got the time off we already discussed mainly spendin it in the hotel. I'm confused on the feeling like himself line, maybe wording, but could you explain? I did try texting again and said I'm fine either way but just tell me if your no longer interested because I dnt want to bug you with txts. Sent last night and heard nothing, not sure what to think, because he's normaly a very honest straightforward person. Thank for your help & additional help.

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    • Forgot to add hopefuly he doesn't fall in this nontalking act again...

    • I am happy that your talking, and that he wasn't in the hospital. The best to you. I just think that he need you to tell him what is expected of him and everything will fall into place. I would go ahead and cancle the trip and both of you go out and have fun in town have a picinc or somethin. Your going alittle to fast for him. Slow down and he will let you know when he's ready just remember you are his first real relationship. Best of luck to both of you.

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