I’m kind of a traditionalist with a little modern tryst. I just prefer someone I have a little more things in common with someone I can feel vulnerable around because they’re strong. A degree in job would be great too but they don’t have to be cookie cutter
**buzz** Try again, sir.
I agree with not settling, but don't get where she must think she's better than she really is for simply not finding a guy attractive. You can't help who you're attracted to or not, and like you said, it's best to not settle for someone you're not.
@aWes0MeNeSs thank you.
@aWes0MeNeSs actually i never said " better than" i said her "percieved markretability" for a reason. It covers a lot of areas. :)
First of all I don’t know where y’all get this thinking I am so majorly attractive. I think I’m average and I’m not looking for guys that are just hot
Please work on your reading comprehension
Where did it say that she thinks she's super attractive, or has a social group who reaffirms that belief? I'm not being combative by the way, I'm genuinely curious as to whether or not that is written anywhere on this post, as I completely missed it if so.If it's just speculation on you guys' part, not being attracted to a guy doesn't mean a girl is full of herself or thinks she's hotter than she really is. EVERYONE has been around someone they've not found attractive in their lives, it's a part of life, especially if you're going to be dating. There's also nothing wrong with turning down someone because you're not attracted to them and feel that something is missing and you don't click (which she also mentioned in the comments on here; she said their conversations don't go well and they don't have much in common). Nobody is obligated to date anyone they're not attracted to. I also find it's more fair to be upfront and politely reject someone you don't find attractive or don't have much in common with than it is to string them along and then inevitably break up because you're not compatible and just aren't attracted to them. That wouldn't be fair to either person and would be a waste of both of their time.
I’m only giving this to you because @aWes0MeNeSs point
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Also, not sure why there are so many bitter incels on here making assumptions about you and acting like you have a moral obligation to date someone you don't want to (or that they've never experienced a lack of attraction towards someone, themselves), but don't let them guilt you or make you feel bad. There's nothing wrong with not dating someone you don't want to for any reason. You have no obligation to date anyone you don't want to. In fact, it's more fair for both you and the other person for you to be upfront and politely turn them down than it is to string them along and suffer through an unhappy, incompatible relationship, as well as waste both of your time.
Or it's the fact that women think 80+% of men are unattractive regardless of whether they like them or not.
Well, I understand what you are saying but that’s simply not the case did you read what I said even the update. I’m saying I won’t give men a chance
A lot of people think they are an exception. that their case is different. no matter what it is. majority of times they are the general rule. not an exception.Very common when feelings are involved. we humans get very narrow minded and see what we want to see, hear what we want to hear. even twist thing's in our minds to thing's it isn't to make sense.
@emmily2396 Never came across that fact before, where did you get the "80+%"?
So you’re basically saying that we should settle for whatever comes our way even if it makes us unhappy
@AskerWhom are you addressing?@LeRetardIt's most likely taken from those date some dating services have released.The funny thing is that number actually applies to majority of humans no matter gender when it comes to it.Just because someone shows interest doesn't mean they are attracted yet in the way we want to believe it is.Online is it to get in contact with someone. someone that talk's back. attention. confirmation. validation.
@crazy8000 Then I'd like the link for that so I could scroll and read it as I am genuinely curious.
@LeRetardUnfortunately can't I give you that since I haven't read that study myself there the ones conducting it did get access to those system's.Did stumbled in to multiple articles and YouTube videos with multiple different levels of people referring to that. even professors within psychology. never looked it up person since it gives the same as I did notice with online dating with all kind of experiments I have done on different kind of contact services.Prefer to make a own my take on GAG and ask if someone knows about that study and can give you the link to it to study.
@crazy8000 I apologise but if I am not able to read the original study then I cannot take the stats as a "fact." To be advised to look on YT for research is absurd as majority of statistics should be on Google rather than entertainment platform. Thank you for this civil discussion but I'm out.
I read it somewhere, I also have a poll on it
@LaRetardRecommend you try to search for it on Google yourself 😉(People aren't that thrilled in searching for thing's for others that doesn't want to do it for themselves)
@LeRetard not "LaRetard"
@crazy8000 Gave it a few attempts, adjusted the sentence couple of times and no original study whatsoever. It's primarily the reason I asked for the link, to make my life a little more easier.Anyway, I'm muting this thread.Adios
I liked your comment and gave it a "thumbs up."I agree with you. Life is like a child going into a candy shop. The parent says you can have whatever you want. The child tried the candy on the first shelf. After a while, the child wants the candy on the second and third shelf, but the child can't reach that high. The child now wants what he/she can't get.
Thanks I appreciate it! That’s also an interesting way to describe it.
I find that this is true in many aspects of life, including with friendships. Ever notice how the asshole "friends" who are loud-mouthed, unreliable, and would ditch their so-called "friends" in a heartbeat the minute they no longer had any use for them are the ones who are seen as more important than the ones who are supportive and always there when you need them? It's a weird part of human nature, and I think people subconsciously crave acceptance from those it's harder to earn it from, even if those people are not even quality people to begin with and their opinions shouldn't matter.
You’re right I actually am not I’ve been so focused on getting my life together versus getting romance in my life. I go to work I come home. I’m trying to remodel my Childhood home. I hang out with my family and I don’t really just go out like that
Love takes work. You have to be intentional
I think I choose guys that are right where I am or a little bit under. That. Currently likes me he has all the qualifications on paper such as degree job wonderful with his family. But I like somebody chunky
@Asker You haven't thought of that you have wrong kind of standards that doesn't really have anything to do with real love, something your unconscious aren't interested of or can't get feelings for?
@crazy8000 So Asher to someone that I will be unhappy with or just choosing just because he’s good on paper
@AskerGood on paper could be anything.I recommend to make a lost on everything what is good on paper for you to begin with.Then begin to think of what is shallow thing's. Like job, What kind of job. education, even what kind. money. material stuff.When it comes to it it's very universal. those shallow exterior thing's can't really trigger real feelings for a person. just for those thing's.Then begin to think of physical appearance and looks.That isn't love for the inhibitor. just the shell.When your done with that. go over to how that person should be as a person.A lot of people get this one wrong and date totally wrong individuals for them that can't really trigger their feelings. or real attraction.Then do you begin to look at how you behave.What do you do.What do you contribute with for him.Do you even trigger any of his feelings that are more then just being there.Do you build both wide and deep rapport on him.Do you confirm, validate, acknowledge.Do you show any interest in him and what is him.Are you physical in any way, like touching him on hands, shoulders, arms, different parts of the back and face. how long do you do it each time. do you escalate. invite private space.Do you lead conversation.Do you let him lead conversation.How are you tonality.How hare your none verbal cues (body language) .Do you look into his eyes.What do you think when with him.How do you feel when you with him.Especially when you look into his eyes.
The thing is that attraction/chemistry/love is built.Both parties need to triger different kinds of feelings in the other person.The more different kind of feelings triggered the better. even bad one's that are memories.You also need to triger new ones.Everything is a two way highway.
This is absolutely wrong. Leagues are a myth perpetuated by extremely shallow and extremely insecure people. Thankfully, there’s a bigger chunk of the population who doesn’t buy into that bullshit.
If this is an obvious sign of anything it’s that she’s subconsciously afraid of commitment.
I see. Men like to have some things where they can be stronger or at least thinking that. What you want is more a bestie maybe?
I don’t want to be unhappy choosing the guy for the wrong reasons
Same things, different sex.
I don’t think beauty alone is what I’m after. I like someone who’s great with their family who has ambition but also time for me
@SeaSprayBreeze Yeah, you'd think my smooth moves would work more often ^^
Lol good for you
@ Anon, I'm only joking, I promise :)
So did you start hitting on guys
No i am just not looking for a love anymore. Just waiting for someone that enjoy talking, has money and having kids of him
I don’t need perfect
Perfect for you. It doesn't mean that he has to be perfect, just tick most of your boxes and have traits you can live with.
How is she treating other people? So far, all I've seen is that she isn't attracted to the guy, doesn't have much in common with him, and doesn't have good conversations with him. I think that's more than fair enough of a reason not to want to date him.
No I just wasn’t physically attracted to the guy he was nice looking just not it. We didn’t really have much in common either our conversations we go from good to awkward
Maybe you are not as hot as you think you are? So as an example if you're a 5 and you like guys who are a 10 then when 4 5 and 6 guys hit on you you won't be interested and all the 10s are not into you a 5 hitting on them. Just another idea.