Is it wrong I refuse to hang out with my boyfriend's friends who have kids?

many of my boyfriend's friends have children, many more than 3 children and some even expecting. he constantly wants to hang out with them and of course the kids are included. last week he asked his friend, friend's pregnant wife, and their two little kids if they all wanted to go out together and do something (somewhere even the kids can go) and I got a little upset, not so much mad as sad. I'm in my late 20's and I'm not getting any younger and hanging out with families and pregnant women make me feel pretty ugly to be honest. it makes me wonder why I don't have's something I really want right now. I asked him "WHY did you ask all of them to hang out? WHY do you always ask your friends and their kids to hang?" he said he doesn't but...he does. I feel bad, I feel like he'd rather hang out with their children instead of having one with me. I feel like I'm not good enough. I try SO hard to look nice and be in tip top shape and be a good hearted person...but feel like it isn't enough. he said it isn't his fault all his friends are having kids, I told him no it isn't but he can at least ask the ones without kids/ones that don't have really small children/aren't pregnant to hang out. I have told him I wanted to have a baby, and he uses the excuse he wants more money to raise a child first, bigger home, his fine payed off, wants to become the owner of the place he works at now first (going to be next year, buying them out). I told him none of his friends or mine or anyone really does that, people will have kids that are living paycheck to paycheck (we aren't). people have kids just because the wife/girlfriend wants to. so what's wrong with me? I really don't want to hang out with his friends who have families...not because I'm cold hearted or hate children but because it hurts knowing I'm not good enough to have that life. am I a bad person for telling him I don't want to hang out with them? I don't know how else to approach him about it...please give me advice?


Most Helpful Girl

  • He's clever he was to bring a child into a stable environment! I got pregnant by mistake and it's been so hard as me and my boyfriend weren't stable enough in hindsight we've nearly broken up on many occasions because of the pressure of a small family, having a child isn't as easy as it looks! But your boyfriend shouldn't expect you to have to hang out with his friends who are pregnant, or have kids esp since you really want a family may e you can say you don't mind hanging out with them but you'd like to mix with other (childless) coup,es as you have more in common with them?

    • Sorry about typos on a touchscreen (and have fake nails)

    • i had a little girl before and lost her, so I'm experienced with kids and took care of her all by myself pretty much because my boyfriend at the time worked really long days from the early am to the later pm...yeah I told him not to expect me to wanna hang with them, it just feels weird idk. I told him id hang with his other friends without small children but he never seems to ask them to hang blahh he's weird...and its OK, I always make typos hehe my keyboard is a pos

    • :o oh sorry to hear about your little girl does your boyfriend know this? If he does he's being very insensitive. No wonder you don't want be stuck with small children and pregnant woman all the time and he should realize this!

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What Guys Said 1

  • So your boyfriend wants to create a optimum environment before bringing a child into the world, and you call it an excuse and think he thinks you aren't worthy to mother his children?

    • well I feel like he is putting it off...idk everyone I know who has children makes less than us and have multiple children. so I don't know why he doen't think we can care for one.

    • Maybe he wants you to see how much better life is without children? The reasons he gave for not being ready seem perfectly acceptable to me. Did he come from a poor family? Did he feel like he always had to do without?

    • thing is, I had a child before and I lost I really want to fill the void of that loss. I really like a life with a child more than without...he came from a family that wasn't very well off at all, his mom rather buy animals and care for them instead of him and was a horder and his dad is lazy and works at home depot. yeah he feels that way...

What Girls Said 1

  • there is nothing wrong with you. if I was in y our situation, I wouldn't be entirely comfortable with that either and wouldn't be able to enjoy myself fully