I have the strongest urge to text her but maybe I shouldnt?

We went out for 4 dates, then out of nowhere she disappeared on me. Asked her out for a fifth, first time she had an excuse. Second time she didn't even respond to my text. Figured if she blatantly ignored my text, she wasn't interested anymore.

But the last date we went on went so well.. I thought things were going well. I don't know why she suddenly disappeared on me.

Many things went through my head..maybe she lost interest, found someone else, maybe she didn't think I was serous about her, maybe she thinks I just want to get in her pants and not have a committed relationship... all these things are possibilities, I don't know she never told me why she never responded to my texts, she just stopped.

And she never initiated contact with me first EVER while we were dating, so for all I know she was upset at me for something I said or did, chose to ignore me asking her out (she is a bit immature), and now sees me not contacting her as a sign of disinterest.

But that's like the best case scenario that brewed in my head.. in all honesty it could just be that she doesn't wanna see me anymore.

Would one last text hurt? I haven't talked to her in two weeks, because I haven't initiated anything. I just feel like I need to get over her, because she obviously had some trust issues and was immature, but we were so similar and had such good times together..I don't know what went wrong. Should I just text her a simple hey how've you been or should I just honestly move on and find someone else?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I wouldn't text her again. It sucks not knowing what went wrong, but it doesn't appear that she's worth your time. Some guys feel like they need to "do everything they can to save the budding relationship" before giving up. You don't need to do that. It's actually worse for your self esteem if you try "everything". She's not meeting you halfway or initiating anymore. That's essential. You deserve a girl that wants to be around. There's nothing else you need to see. You don't need to be loyal to the bitter end if she's not even an active participant. You're FREEEEEEEEE!

    • Haha, thanks man. Yea I really liked her, she had effing awesome interests and we could make each other laugh, but its true she never met me halfway, she always had me chasing her and doing all the work. And honestly looking back at what we had, I was angry as much as I was happy. She didn't open up to me, kept at a distance, didn't put effort to see me or make what we had work..and focusing on those things makes it easier to move on.

      But I occasionally do miss her. It wasn't all bad..

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What Girls Said 2

  • When a girl starts avoiding a guy its cause she is not interested, if she liked you she would try to text you back try to see you, She is probably doesn't want to hurt your feelings so she is avoiding you (which is childish) so don't text her back, if she wants you she will come to you

    • She is very immature, I agree with you she is childish. Everything was always about her. For example once I texted her while I was on the beach saying how nice the weather was and how we should go to the beach sometime. She later told me that she didn't even feel like responding to the text cause it upset her cause back home it was raining and ugly weather. Wtf? She's so self-centered its disgusting. But we make each other laugh there are good things about her..but she will never come to me btw

    • Yep like I said childish and she is making up excuses don't text her period. Go on other dates with other women, make her see you can move on! Then she will see oh how stupid she was. There are other women, and she knows you like her so she feels like she has power, so just don't waste your time! once she sees you can go on other dates she will want you. One thing about people we always want what we can't have.

    • I'm hoping for that. I don't think she dates much.. I met her circle of friends and she doesn't have many other guys she could date. She also has a hard time meeting people because of how obnoxious she comes off as when you first meet her. And if she acts the way she acted around me when dating other ppl, they'll drop her faster than I should have.

      Hopefully she realizes how good I was to her, the mistake she made for taking me for granted and how loneliness sucks, cause she has no one else

  • I'm in the same boat as you. This guy & I went out on two dates just recently on our last date things were going great but now it's gotten to the point of him not contacting me at all whatsoever, so this coming weekend I'm giving it my last shot and I'm actually going invite him out on a sushi dinner date. Anyways enough about me, I suggest you text her or call her whichever one of the two you feel the most comfortable with and just see if she even responds back. If she does then ask her out and talk to her in person to clear some things out. Good luck to you in all that you do.

    • Things went like this = asked her out for fifth date, she had excuse (good one I suppose). Then I get invited to dinner by her mom, I agree. Then I call and ask her out again for another shot fifth date, she doesn't pick up, doesn't call back. I text her details of some stuff going on, she ignores the text. That sound like she's not interested? I guess I have nothing to lose and send one text seeing how she's been..4 dates sounds like she really liked me.. so she couldn't just stop liking me..

What Guys Said 2

  • My policy: If things were going well, I ask three times, no encouragement, then move on. If things aren't well, ask once.

    • I asked twice, first time excuse (she said she'd like to, but she had a b-day she had to go to, sounds legit to me), second time ignore both my voicemail and text. That was not a good sign at all lol..I just don't see what could have gone wrong she seemed so into me. Guess it could have been anything point is if she ignored me she didn't want to see me. I shouldn't text her, I should get over her.

    • Well . . . some women like to be left alone during THAT time of the month. Otherwise, it was probably something completely beyond your control and you will probably never know.

  • This is why it is best to date multiple women at the same time, that way it is easier to move on when one doesn't work out, sounds a little immature but it is effective.

    • I usually don't start dating a girl unless I see a possibility for a relationship. That usually happens after I know them a bit better, "hanging out" if you will.

      I don't just chat a girl I think is hot, get her number then take her on a date. I find it a waste of time and money, especially if on your first date you don't know anything at all about them. It's hit or miss that way.

      But then you're right if you do it that way you have more options so..takes more effort lol

    • Ye I have a bit more free time than most people because I am a student, and economically I am pretty well off so I can sort of afford to do this. Works perfectly for me, one girl doesn't pick up her phone, I call the next one. It has the benefit of not making you feel need, and usually they will always eventually call me apologize and ask me to do something. Currently got three girls I am dating, any more and I think it gets too complicated though.