How do I answer a guy on a dating app when he asks what I’m looking for?

[AmandaYVR]

Oh girl, I'm worried for you. You need to up your standards and not be a pushover. Sounds like you're already walking in being very passive and afraid, and that's not a good stance to have.

But let me be mamma bear and try and help you out. Not all guys wants all girls just for sex. Many guys, even today, are looking for a nice girl and a nice, comfortable relationship. The difference, quite often, is that in the mean time, guys will troll around and have sex with whomever lets them. They do think that many girls are not good enough to be with f/t, but they are good enough to sleep with for a night.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, will be to try and weed out the guys who are ONLY looking for girls for hookups. (There's girls right now who are also looking for just this, but you are not one of them, so let's not muddy the waters here.)

Then there's the guys who will not sleep around, are very particular and discerning, and even a few who are waiting for marriage to have sex.

If you were to actually write something, of which the subtext was very wide open, you will get a barrage of dick pics and "Hey what's up" booty calls. But you don't want that, so you need to be more clear about your expectations. And they are perfectly fine. Do not feel bad, or worry you're going to scare guys off. Everybody is allowed to have preferences and opinions, and the quicker you all get to expressing them and being direct, the smoother dating will go.

That being said, I do actually like the phrase you are suggesting. It's sounds very sweet, not demanding, that's for sure. I just think you might want to ask for more. Because you're worth more than just a hookup, right?

[Anonymous]

Tell him the truth; there is nothing more desperate than a lie.

[Anonymous]

Guys who want relationships like girls who want relationships. Guys who are commitment phones don’t.

I wouldn’t hide it. It’s true you don’t want to seem desperate but you can definitely say you’re looking for something that can turn into a relationship.

[RandallM]

Kinda sounds like he might bail if you don't say sex, keep your guard up

[Jamie05rhs]

You're on a dating app. Why are you worried about sounding "desperate.". Everyone knows what dating apps are for.

[Anonymous]

Just say you're looking for a relationship. That isn't desperate at all to say.