How many times should you at least see someone as friends before dating them?

Question

Answer 1

btbc92 | 4.3K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

As LONG AS you NEED TO. I say give it about 2 years or 3 IDEALLY. A year the least. And then start IF:

1. You two are CLEAR about what the rules are and what is expected in this friendship. No DATING. If you're hanging out, hang out and get to know each other as friends.
and
2. You ask all the questions you want and need to ask concerning dating as if you were out on a typical date.
BONUS: If you are a believer in God, make SURE he approves!!!

What you should be asking each other before dating, by category. Remember these are age-appropriate questions and differ from a child or teen. And yes, they are PERSONAL QUESTIONS. But the more info you know, the better you can at determining if you want a relationship with them or not. This is also situational too: (BOLD is important must-have questions! Never hop into dating without asking)

1. Why do you want to date me? And what are you dating for? When did you decide you wanted to date? How do you view dating should be? Courtship, casual or serious?
2. Did you have prior experience in dating before? If so, when was the last time you had one? What happened if it didn't work out?
3. What are your dating expectations that I should know about if we are to be dating?
4. Do you have a background of abuse? Have you been an abuse victim? Bully victim? Rape victim? etc. Would there be a problem or dealbreaker if I have or had this problem?
5. What do you hope for the future ( now that we are living in these times)?
6. (If in school): What kind of job/career do you want to have or is pursuing? (If working): What kind of job do you do? Do you enjoy it? If not, what do you think could be improved or make it more enjoyable? Would you switch careers if you could or should? If you have problems, would you go back to school if possible and or learn a new trade?
7. How is your education and what was it like? Were there some highlights you enjoyed? Something you hated? Did you do good academically? If not, how did you change and what did you learn from those experiences? Do you think that what I have is enough? If not, what would be your advice to me if we were to be serious?
8. What is your overall stance on leadership? What type of person do you think qualifies for a leader, or follower?
9. What about politics? Any particular stance or views we should address that will affect the relationship?
10. Religion? Faith? Beliefs?
11. What are your views about sex? Do you believe in premarital sex is okay or not before marriage? Are YOU waiting for marriage to have sex? Do you expect me to wait or have sex before marriage? If waiting, then when are you planning or hoping to be married? Do you think you can handle waiting that long or is there a problem your struggling with? If not waiting, then what are your views regarding abortion and birth control? The number of partners and sexual experience?
13. How about marriage? Do you believe in a prenup? If so/not why? Do you believe marriage is ordained, called, something people do when in-love, a government-controlled institution, etc? (If older) Were you ever married? Do you have a healthy view of it?

Asker

5 mo
Thank you for your help. Those questions will help me out.
btbc92

5 mo
14. What about children? Do you want kids? How many? If not, why not? Do you have a health problem that may prevent you from having children? A genetic disease that runs in the family? Are you on the fence about them? Or you okay either way? Do you have any children from somebody or somewhere?
15. Regarding mental health, are you struggling with anything mentally I should know about? Not just as a friend but a potential lover and partner? If healed, did you struggle in the past? On meds? Seeking help? What did they say regarding your ability to a normal lifestyle and the stresses of relationships? Are there things I need to know that causes triggers? Do you have similar questions for me? Anything you need to know?

Anything else I should know about? What about your questions for me?

There are more, especially about personality types, friends, family, etc. But I feel and believe these are the most important questions you can spread out or condensed as needed. BUT the key here is to get ALL of your concerns and questions out of the way to weed out unqualifiable partners. So that way, neither you nor that person will get hurt any more than needed.
btbc92

5 mo
Your very welcome Asker!
Show All Show Less
Asker

5 mo
Are those questions good to ask the guy during in a friendship? Also I’m getting to know a guy. We being friends first, He never asks me for nudes. He never asks me for sexual activity. he always makes me laugh & smile. He makes me feel good about myself. his a funny guy, we both want a serious real relationship one day... he said about 3-7 times of seeing each other. Before the serious dating relationship. I know there’s usually no time limit but do you think at least seeing them 7 times before a relationship is a good idea.
btbc92

5 mo
Well, are these questions you should ask when dating or in a relationship? Remember this is for YOU. Not me. I know what to do, hence why so many walked because I screened so many out. He can beg and say he does or not. But you don't really know him less than that time. Because if you rush into it and your wrong, your going to repeat like what happened the last time. If he is serious he would wait. If not, he is not serious. He can do all those things, but if you're not compatible then it's a disaster waiting to happen when it all could be avoided.
btbc92

5 mo
if I wasn't celibate anymore. NOPE. I know that people change, people aren't always stable minded and is well put before anything. I knew I needed to grow and mature first in areas of improvement. I especially have areas of problems such as abuse, etc listed, and had problems trying to get stable in my life. Unless he is making a good amount of money, has his own place, is ready to get married, etc, you have no idea what you will face until you date him. Never be fooled by what you see now. Most people don't reveal themselves until the high of hormones and infatuation drops. I have never known some of my friends had crushes UNTIL I was told they did. I already knew we weren't compatible because of different lifestyles, different desires, spiritual beliefs, etc. And that was from years in school. When we all went our separate ways in life, I saw a TON of things I wouldn't have found out if I dated them. Or found out the hard way. Even other guys who wanted to straight date me. Many cheated, done things I didn't with, treated their girlfriends a certain way, etc. So decide how serious you are about it. It's not 1820 or even 1920, it is now 2020. Where relationships are Russian roulette and marriage have lost it's meaning.
btbc92

5 mo
This is what it means to get to know each other. Because if you don't know how to be friends, how are you two going to be lovers? A lover should also be your best friend. Remember that.
Asker

5 mo
Okay I won’t rush into anything I prefer to get too know him as friends first.. before me and him go in a relationship. he told me his a patient guy.. last time I rushed into a causal dating relationship that was a bit serious without being friends first so now I’m choosing not to make the same mistake as last time.
Asker

5 mo
Yes a lover is a best friend.
btbc92

5 mo
Good. Because if you two can't handle this, you don't want to imagine what it would be if you two did date. You both would be heartbroken if you two are good people. That's why you don't. If it's meant to be, it will be.
Asker

5 mo
Yeah me and him can handle getting to know each other.. first. that’s very true what you said there..

Answer 2

Asker

Thank you for your help. Those questions will help me out.

Answer 3

btbc92

14. What about children? Do you want kids? How many? If not, why not? Do you have a health problem that may prevent you from having children? A genetic disease that runs in the family? Are you on the fence about them? Or you okay either way? Do you have any children from somebody or somewhere?
15. Regarding mental health, are you struggling with anything mentally I should know about? Not just as a friend but a potential lover and partner? If healed, did you struggle in the past? On meds? Seeking help? What did they say regarding your ability to a normal lifestyle and the stresses of relationships? Are there things I need to know that causes triggers? Do you have similar questions for me? Anything you need to know?

Anything else I should know about? What about your questions for me?

There are more, especially about personality types, friends, family, etc. But I feel and believe these are the most important questions you can spread out or condensed as needed. BUT the key here is to get ALL of your concerns and questions out of the way to weed out unqualifiable partners. So that way, neither you nor that person will get hurt any more than needed.

Answer 4

btbc92

Your very welcome Asker!

Answer 5

Asker

Are those questions good to ask the guy during in a friendship? Also I’m getting to know a guy. We being friends first, He never asks me for nudes. He never asks me for sexual activity. he always makes me laugh & smile. He makes me feel good about myself. his a funny guy, we both want a serious real relationship one day... he said about 3-7 times of seeing each other. Before the serious dating relationship. I know there’s usually no time limit but do you think at least seeing them 7 times before a relationship is a good idea.

Answer 6

btbc92

Well, are these questions you should ask when dating or in a relationship? Remember this is for YOU. Not me. I know what to do, hence why so many walked because I screened so many out. He can beg and say he does or not. But you don't really know him less than that time. Because if you rush into it and your wrong, your going to repeat like what happened the last time. If he is serious he would wait. If not, he is not serious. He can do all those things, but if you're not compatible then it's a disaster waiting to happen when it all could be avoided.

Answer 7

btbc92

if I wasn't celibate anymore. NOPE. I know that people change, people aren't always stable minded and is well put before anything. I knew I needed to grow and mature first in areas of improvement. I especially have areas of problems such as abuse, etc listed, and had problems trying to get stable in my life. Unless he is making a good amount of money, has his own place, is ready to get married, etc, you have no idea what you will face until you date him. Never be fooled by what you see now. Most people don't reveal themselves until the high of hormones and infatuation drops. I have never known some of my friends had crushes UNTIL I was told they did. I already knew we weren't compatible because of different lifestyles, different desires, spiritual beliefs, etc. And that was from years in school. When we all went our separate ways in life, I saw a TON of things I wouldn't have found out if I dated them. Or found out the hard way. Even other guys who wanted to straight date me. Many cheated, done things I didn't with, treated their girlfriends a certain way, etc. So decide how serious you are about it. It's not 1820 or even 1920, it is now 2020. Where relationships are Russian roulette and marriage have lost it's meaning.

Answer 8

btbc92

This is what it means to get to know each other. Because if you don't know how to be friends, how are you two going to be lovers? A lover should also be your best friend. Remember that.

Answer 9

Asker

Okay I won’t rush into anything I prefer to get too know him as friends first.. before me and him go in a relationship. he told me his a patient guy.. last time I rushed into a causal dating relationship that was a bit serious without being friends first so now I’m choosing not to make the same mistake as last time.

Answer 10

Asker

Yes a lover is a best friend.

Answer 11

btbc92

Good. Because if you two can't handle this, you don't want to imagine what it would be if you two did date. You both would be heartbroken if you two are good people. That's why you don't. If it's meant to be, it will be.

Answer 12

Asker

Yeah me and him can handle getting to know each other.. first. that’s very true what you said there..

Answer 13

moonpie89 | 1.9K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

Zero. You can date someone without being friends first.

Asker

5 mo
True that I prefer to be friends first last time I dated someone without being friends it didn’t workout he didn’t want to be with me.

Answer 14

Asker

True that I prefer to be friends first last time I dated someone without being friends it didn’t workout he didn’t want to be with me.

Answer 15

Kaneki05 | 793 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

Up to you really. I usually like to be friends with someone for about 4 weeks before i think of anything more if i get to know them well that is.
It really depends how much you've talked and feel like you know them. There isn't exact date or time needed.

Asker

5 mo
Ok thanks for telling me
tjbyrd39

5 mo
I like for relationship to have ran it's course quicker than that
Kaneki05

5 mo
that's you i guess. I rather take my time and get to know the person
Show All Show Less
tjbyrd39

5 mo
Think suppose be honest in here I don't know

Answer 16

Asker

Ok thanks for telling me

Answer 17

tjbyrd39

I like for relationship to have ran it's course quicker than that

Answer 18

Kaneki05

that's you i guess. I rather take my time and get to know the person

Answer 19

tjbyrd39

Think suppose be honest in here I don't know

Answer 20

reptocarl2

Yoda

There are no rules

Asker

5 mo
That’s cool with me

Answer 21

Asker

That’s cool with me

Answer 22

tjbyrd39 | 76 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 5

Zero if you can handle yourself

Answer 23

Iron_Man | 10.1K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

0 it doesn't matter

How many times should you at least see someone as friends before dating them?

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