I believe that's natural
That sucks, but at least it does make it easier.
I agree, I'd say it's healthy.
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Yeah I think so too. It's a strong indicator of maturity and a well rounded person I feel.
What creates the emotional connection?
i'm not sure about that. i guess if we get along well in dating and are just overall a good match. i actually don't know if that can be forced or "created". but if there's no connection, sex won't change that. but if there's a connection, that gets a bit stronger. unless the sex was utterly shit xD that may sometimes ruin it a bit.
You can't force it, it happens naturally over time. Chemistry helps but it won't last if the natural connection doesn't occur.
I agree completely with everything you've said. I suppose I've never felt not attracted to someone to begin with because I've personally never had sex just for the sake of it, for me it's always been with someone I like. And when they're able to show their caring side even more through sex that just strengthens it.
i did have that once, cause she pushed really hard for a hookup and i barely knew her so i kind of didn't want it but then i got horny xD
Haha fair enough
What's the deciding factor? Connection?
Psychology says otherwise. You've never been in love?
I never said I’ve never been in love I said that we don’t grow emotionally attached by sex and that has nothing to do with psychology that is literally a chemical reaction in the brain women get the oxytocin burst and men get dopamine we just get happier and you get emotionally bonded
That is psychology. Everything you feel is practically determined by chemical reactions in the body, its still psychology because they're both part and parcel of the same thing. I've studied enough to know. Men also get oxytocin as well as dopamine.
if you “studied enough to know”, then you would know that the tiny amount of oxytocin that men get only during orgasm is nullified by testosterone. You would also know that women get large bursts of oxytocin during foreplay, penetration, and orgasm and that estrogen enhances it’s affects.
Men also get bigger bursts of oxytocin during foreplay - trying to... what's the word... Undermine someone else without understanding the balanced points isn't a good look for anyone.
If he's shit in bed then yeah all he'll get is that empty kind of pleasure
An dby the way, dopamine also is a key hormone that creates that feeling of care and love.
It’s not hard to undermined somebody who has no idea what they’re talking about. The amount of oxytocin released in males during sex is marginal and testosterone nullifies it’s a fax. The reason we don’t get emotionally attached during sex is because chemically we are not given the same level of bonding chemicals as women. There is nothing more to it. trying to somehow shame the concept by saying in order for this to be true men would have to suck in bed is completely fabricated nonsense. You can be extremely well-versed in the bedroom and it will still only give us lots of dopamine and a tiny bit of oxytocin whereas the more intense it is for women the more oxytocin is released.
Can you elaborate?
If I have an existing attraction to her then yes, it will develop from there. If I'm just trying to get my dick wet, then no.
Okay so define attraction... Are you talking just physically or mentally? This confuses me about guys because I could never have sex with someone I'm not attracted to personally.
It doesn't just have to be sleeping around, even just short things that don't work out etc.
Haven’t done that either
What differences are the deciding factors?
If its a friend i would love her dearly but someone i just met, i would need to get to know her better before i open up to her.
Yeah I'd say that's true of anyone. So you'd say it's a trust of being vulnerable with each other?
Nothing to do with vulnerability. Everything do with wanting to be with her. If she has qualities i do not like or loathe tyen she is let go. I do not like people that caus a lot of drama and negativity.
Pretty sure that's a universal preference too. I know what if I can feel vulnerable, seen and accepted by him he feels like home and it definitely aids me falling for him.
I can't stand the nagging, the i hope you like me, or i like that you do this or that. I also dont need their permission to do anything. Who do they think they are?
Well I've no idea where all of that juts came from, but okay, sounds like you need a break? Lol
Im looking for my next girlfriend but so far the girls I've met are just not what i want, especially if they remind me of my ex.
Oh dear. Well good luck, it usually happens when you least expect it. I've found that to be true regardless of how cliche is it.
Can you elaborate? I'm trying to understand the difference that would make it so and not so...
When I feel a deeper connection with the person then I feel that sense of care. When I don’t feel a connection or sexual compatibility I don’t feel the sense of care
Have you experienced both with the same person? Like if you're not feeling as connected the caring dwindles, or is it generally either you do or don't for certain ones?
Yeah it’s come and gone before depending on the connection I feel at the time I don't know maybe I’m weird
No I think that can be normal, I think it depends on the compatibility of the couple.