I don't know where you live, but as a Northeast American, I have almost NEVER seen men have a strong preference for one or the other. Us men tend to not care about women's height (although I'm an usual case and mostly like tall girls). Most women happen to be short though, less than 5'7"/170cm, so most men are going to gravitate towards short girls by default. I've legit never seen men say they wouldn't date a short girl (besides maybe me because I'm insecure about my own 180cm height).
The ONLY time we do say we don't want to attempt to talk to a girl though is if she's taller than the man, usually 6'0"/183cm and up, and this is only because women care A LOT about a man's height, so attempting to hit on a taller girl is like a 99% certainty of being rejected (and possibly mocked/humiliated, as well). There is far less risk with most men to just approach short girls. Add in the fact most women on Earth are short, and it's a no-brainer why most men go for short girls more than tall girls, but generally don't care about a woman's height like they care about ours so much.
So is it lie that most Northern Ameicans prefer short (shorter than average American) women?
Guys don't really care. Usually, the only men who tend to go after women under 5'6" (specifically, has a preference for short women) are the tallest guys (over 6'1"). The only time any other guy is going to ever bring up height as an issue is if the woman seems likely to reject him for HIS own height.
Men tend to think about body type/size/weight a LOT more than height, which is a non-issue for most men.
i thought on contrary, tall men definetely want tall women because they are more practical?
Men generally prefer smaller girl because hugging a girl smaller than you feel much better than a tall or same height one. While we hug if a girl is shorter and if she reach our chest, that is the best feeling which we can have. She can hear our heart beat. Also at time of a standing kiss she would try to reach our lips by lifting herself up on our toes. Randomly pulling her closer, placing hand on her shoulder or waist makes easily with a shorter girl. Sometimes teasing her that we are taller than her and see how cutely she gets jealous. These are the reasons why men go for girl smaller than them. I'd like to say if a girl is bit taller than you, I gets a bit awkward for them to hug each other in public due to head reaching her boobs.
Many men do. You sadly may not be the type they are looking for and perhaps have other physical qualities they don't find attractive. Notice how almost all guys that you've seen pointed out they wanted. It's a direct insult at you. Sorry to say. I find that screwed up. Ignore those men.
@KrakenAttackin A lot of guys do prefer short women as long as it's something that doesn't interfere with intimacy or reputation. It's usually those below 5'4 that often prefer taller women.
@Asker, I can assure you it may have to do with the ones of your meeting. Taller guys naturally would want taller women but like shorter women mostly. While those around 5'3 and below will often prefer taller women and feel inferior with women around their height or even shorter UNLESS they are just desperate for any girl to pay attention to them.
So, you are saying pretty short men prefer taller women? This is news to me. I am 5'10" and I love a shorter woman.
@KrakenAttackin You just proven my point and don't even know it or paying attention. And yes, I think my dad can tell you all about it. He's much shorter than you.
Worse if you look far younger than your age, they assume you're not legal. Which is sick in itself since sex shouldn't even be the first thing on a person's mind. But anyway, that's why I said it could be other things and its a direct insult at her. Most guys aren't that tall unless she lives elsewhere than the US.
@KrakenAttackin Around your height to past 6'feet definitely. Though your height is now becoming more common and technically average.
Models have nothing to do with any of that. I'm pretty sure my grandmother can simply tell you what it means to actually be tall and she's the one that's way shorter. Men at the end of the day or just going to lust after the amount of skin that you show. So the more skin we show, the more men are going to be enticed to want to get into bed. Anybody can do that.
I agree that any girl, of any height can be sexy. Still a tall girl will always catch more attention.
To say that a certain woman looks better, is not saying that we would always chose that one.
I know that is a stereotype, but men actually do care about more than looks.
If the most attractive girl loses in personality to a less attractive girl we will chose the second one.
Of course we still need to be somewhat physically attracted to her. But everyone wants a partner they are attracted too.
But see that's how a lot of I get fooled because it's not about the personality either. It's About Soul attraction. If you don't have a good Soul no matter how physically attractive person is, no matter how sexually a littering they can be, no matter how much of a good character they have, or healthy that out looking like this, or how interesting dip personality have become, if your soul is not in a good place, you going to potentially damage another soul. Looks fade, and personality can shift over time. You don't want to rely on that. You men rely too much on those two things, and you still end up with the wrong kind of partner. Because you were already doing all the wrong things. I don't care how attractive a man is, if he's not keeping his head straight and he isn't doing what man is supposed to do, then that becomes a useless man who just got looks and body. Love isn't based on those things. Lust is. That's why people fail.
No matter how you cut it there will always be a physical part of any relationship. If that part is not satisfied the relationship will fail. Just like it would if any other pilar of the relationship doesn't hold up.
Don't you understand why we women have so much power no matter if we're so-called attractive or ugly? We can be anything you want us to be. As long as we got the moves, know your desires, know what you're seeking, we can emulate anything to your heart's desire. But once we already got you hooked we already got you. And you will never know how we snuck in. And if you are ready was looking for it, we know how to approach you. That's why you got to be careful who do you invite in your life. Because if you don't know what love is, anybody can use "love" to destroy you.
Really? I suppose that's why my friends were able to keep their marriages for so many years and now have families of Their Own. Relationships are not about what's physical. It's about was spiritual. When the spiritual is in chat, then the physical manifest. It's the same thing with illness. The CDC makes it clear that most diseases are caused by toxic emotions. That includes cancer, and even heart disease.
If your spiritual and emotional health is not in checked, then your physical will be out of whack also. It's when you are married is when all that you've learned from the time of your birth up until the time you give away your virginity on your marriage night is when that is truly satisfied. But you got to be in the right place first. And you have to know how to have loved and to give love in return. Relationships are about building first in intimacy. That means what you learn from your parents and what you learn in your friendship you take that with you into your romantic ones. That means holding hands, that means cuddling, that means talkin, that means hugging, that means listening, and that means having understanding. That does not mean hopping into bed screwing each other's brains out. That's what you people choose to do. And then you want to know why your excuse my French effed-up in your brains and in your marriages. And then you want to cheat on each other, and then you want to masturbate to pornography, and then you curse at each other, and then you abused each other, because you speaking things that you are not deserving of without sacrifice. That's why no matter how much you attempted to want to touch a person you learn to respect them. There are boundaries in a relationship for a reason.
Marriage it's meant to be physical. Not relationships. Until you learn to self-sacrifice, self discipline, self control, know how to love, and to love properly, you're not going to do well once things get sexual. Because the baggage you already learn before you end up sexual, is what's going to determine how you treat other people sexually. And yes, not everybody have sex the same way because we are all different people. Knew about of sexual experimentation is going to change that. You just going to condition each other based on what you got. That's why it looks and personality have zero to do with it. It's how you choose to treat each other and how you was brought up and raised how to treat other people. It's when you are drawn to a person spirit and you can never find yourself wanted to break away is when you are in a healthy relationship if it's for the latent. Why do you think we need to talk about reincarnation concerning romance they always say no matter where you are, no matter who you becoming the next life, they will always find you? Because it's not about the body. It's not about the personality. It's about the store. The body dies, but the soul last forever. Is not about believing in reincarnation or any of that other garbage. It's about the message. And love is a message. Sex does not guarantee you love. It's when you have love to give in exchange it's when you start having sex. And one of my marriage friends when they first got married and lost their virginity to each other and have children expressed that. True love does wait. And it's not about the race, color, etc. It's about real love and just doing it. It's meant to be hard, but it doesn't come easy. Their words. Not mine.
That works both ways. Not sides want a physical and mental connection. Both sides can be manipulated by the other knowing that.
But I agree that both men and women should chose their partners better.
They are not just about physical, but it does play a part. A part that must not be neglected for the relationship to work.
I am married. I did not lost my virginity with my wife. Neither of us was a virgin when we met and started to date. That did not stopped us from having an incredible connection.
We do all that. We love to spend time with each other. We love to talk with the other. We love to spoil the other. And we also love to fuck the other. That's how good relationships work.
Of course it has to be negotiated, because you're not going to operate the same way that's why you talk about that. The problem is with your case you have to work extra hard to maintain that. You both just happened to find the strength to be able to do that. But if you're not respecting each other and what you choose to do with it then yes you're still going to have a problem. That does not guarantee you going to have a good relationship. It is still a choice. You made a choice, and she made a choice, I don't know about anything beyond what you just said about you being married. You can be telling me anything. But one thing I do know, is that you obviously had a lot of struggles before that, if you're able to get over those struggles then that is a different story. But it's not something to be praised. It should be a learning lesson.
You make sex to be a much bigger deal than what it actually is.
The fact that I had sex with other girls before I met her doesn't mean that I had to endure struggles or issues. It also doesn't mean that it made it harder for me to fall in love for her. Not at all.
We both had previous partners before we met each other. We had lots of sex before we were married. And we continue to have it now.
None of that means that we don't also have times of pure love. Just cuddling and talking.
People can have both. Like I said for a relationship to work the physical attraction and the personality connection need to be there.
Having sex after marriage means that you are rolling the dice. You are marrying someone that may be sexually not comparable with you. Then what? Part of the relationship will not work and it will eventually fall apart.
@ThisIsMyOpinion guys in my country prefer tall women, even taller than themselves. is it same in your country too?
You realize that that's the choice that you made. So now that what you're saying would have made any sense because you was already doing it before you got married. That's something that you chose to make of yourself and something that she chose to make up her self. Sex is not about compatibility. And sex is a big deal. But you chose not to make it a big deal, so that's on you. That does not mean that has to be two choices of other people. I already knew and had a feeling you already done it anyway so what you're saying wouldn't of made any sense to begin with. You put yourself through that.
I think you overreact
he is in different counrty than yours. maybe tall women seen as more ideal where he lives. I have heard short petite girls are idealized in US. so you live in US right?
@ThisIsMyOpinion not spesifically, but men here generally tend to prefer tall women. Taller than average girl, and taller than themselves is no problem.
How is it in your country?
@Asker
I am not overreacting. The point is of what I am saying is that regardless of height if you yourself Asker, is looking to be loved by a man, it should not be a concern about your height unless that is going to affect the relationship. They are looking for taller women, and you are not at all girl. As I said before you are an inch shorter. If they are not taking interest in you solely because of that foolishness, you are better off going elsewhere where you will be much appreciated. In the US, no. It's not there where idolized in the US. It's simply because we look more feminine that way. And tall women are often seen as more masculine.
Yes sex is about compatibility. When you have it if the person you are with is not compatible with you, you will know what I mean.
You are right, that doesn't mean that everyone should make the same choice as me. Of course not. But they should make that choice for the right reasons. And to be afraid that for some reason our life or how you connect with others will change drastically because you had sex is a wrong reason because it simply isn't true.
Actually women can also have sex with zero feelings attached. Trust me they can just like us.
*And to be afraid that for some reason your life or how you connect with others will change drastically because you had sex is a wrong reason because it simply isn't true.*
see?
tall women seen as masculine in US, i have hard about it. Even look at this question, those who said they have a preference for short women are always from US so maybe it is trend there.
Each culture is different. In my country, guys strongly prefer tall girls. Some guys dont mind, some guys reject any girl that is under 5'7"
Same as some American men reject girls over 5'7"
It is all cultural difference
Oh, no it's not. You talk about these things, you don't do it by having sex. And first of all I don't treat sex like it's a commodity or just pleasure. I see it as something that you share with a person. If you're going to make it just based on physical, then or you going to get his physical. Then when the person don't feel like they're being loved, guess what they going to do? They're going to get physical and get love elsewhere. That's why people cheat. And no it's not. There are many of scientific studies and books will actually conclude and solidify everything of what I'm saying. And no we cannot. Because women are wired to grow attached to the very first person we experienced sex with. That's why virginity especially for women is very important. If a person have sex with zero feelings attached that's why they can actually screw with anybody and not want commitment. That's actually not only sexual abuse, that's actually the degeneration of a person's brain.
As far as I know men in my country like tall girls, but shorter than themselves.
@ThisIsMyOpinion Hows the average girl in your country, and how tall do guys prefer on girls in general?
@asker I don't know how tall you are or what are the preferences on other countries, but I know what we like here.
well, im not that far from average here, which is 5'6"
but "tallness" is highly valued on women here. I know many 5'7" girls have problem finding a guy whos interested in her.
I don't see why any of you women still want to be in a place where you're being discriminated by the opposite sex. You are smart enough to just leave that country and go elsewhere. I believe in many women like you and below that height did just that, it will make a lot of men wake up. But do it for yourself. Don't do it just to try to prove a point.
@ThisIsMyOpinion I am 160cm
I ask about your country mens preference
How tall is prefered over there?
@btbc92 but you should treat sex just as a way to get pleasure. There is nothing wrong with that. Two people can love each other and still want sex just because it feels good.
What is wrong with that?
I love that person, but when I have sex my goal is to get both of us to orgasm. I can do that and still love that person.
People cheat if their physical needs are not met. I agree. One more reason to know if you are sexually compatible with a person before you marry.
You clearly haven't tall to many girls have you. I already seen questions here about that asking if women could have sex with no feelings attached. Most of them said that they can.
In real life I have also met girls that could do that easy.
yeah its kinda common for girls under 5'7 get discriminated here. It is just that tall women are idealized here a lot, and most guys dont want a girl who is not tall.
I dont know if it is same in other countries
@askee don't worry.
Even if guys have a preference as far as looks go for tall girls that doesn't mean we will always go for tall girls.
I am 1.87m or 6'2 and my wife is 1.65m. Yes she is not very tall and I find her hot as hell!
There are many other factors as far as attractiveness goes.
@ThisIsMyOpinion
Really? So what you're saying is I should be a whore? You think love is all about feeling good? You ask me what's wrong with that? Well for starters it's selfish that's for sure. It's not about any of that stuff. To love is a choice. Do not is a choice. Sexual compatibility is a lie before marriage. And I'm pretty sure my father cam tell you that after having 40+ partners, that its acfually BS. I have spoken to many females about this. Even though that I personally know in real life. What you don't understand that as a man you are not a woman. Just like as a woman I am not a man. So any woman that wants to tell you all that stuff their lying to you.
@ThisIsMyOpinion I just wonder how tall do Portiguese men prefer.
170? 180? how tall?
You have been taught wrong about what sex is let alone what love is. That is completely independent of what you choose to do. That's why you get married. Because if you keep doing that, you're going to mess yourself up. That's why a lot of girls they have sex very young. Because they think they're getting love and they're not. They learned that the hard way and that's why they do what they do. Because if they didn't do it you wouldn't want to be with them anyway. It's not because they just wanted to. But because if they did not do it, you would not be there. They feel they have no choice. That's not love. That's manipulation. And once you done all that, getting married won't change anything because now you already tied yourself down to that person before you got married. So a paper isn't going to do anything. How you treat sex, it's how people will treat you. Because if that's the case how come you have to wait all this time to get married to who you are with now? Why couldn't you get married to all the other girls? I'll tell you why. Because you just gave me the answer. You treated them for pleasure. You treated them for an experience. That says you never loved them. That means you just wanted to screw. It's just that what you and your wife chose to do is just Mutual. I ain't getting myself treated that way.
@Asker, stop worrying about what Portuguese man want. Don't worry about what any type of nationality of man want. Love yourself. That's the message. When you have self-love, you don't have to worry about what these other guys want. Because a man that truly wants to be with you, but just be with you. Because if you go for a Man based on what you have, then they're going to leave you for the same person who has the same or better. You deserve to be loved. Not to be compared to.
@btbc92 I am saying be and do whatever you want.
Because it may not be for you or the women you talk with, but some can definitely keep feelings out of sex.
If you can't then yes just do it once you are married. Or with someone you truly love. Fine.
But it really makes no sense. What changes after marriage? Do you became a different person? No. Does sex makes you a different person? Also no.
So what sense does it make?
@btbc92 two situations you don't consider.
1. Have you considered that those young girls also just wanted sex? Not love?
2. Or they just had sex with a boyfriend they loved and who loved them back. So both loved each other and had sex even if they were not married?
Again, are you going to question science and biology? I thought you people will haul corn that stuff. It's not about doing whatever I want. Because when you get involved with that it's not about you. It's about the other person. If they want to fool around with themselves, they can do. It does make sense because it's not about you. It's about you being with that person. What changes after marriage? Do you become a different person? Yes you do. Does sex makes you a different person? Yes it does that's what it's supposed to do. So why you asking what this doesn't make it, what's the point of asking these questions if you already done it? You're ready spoiled yourself. So you wouldn't understand anyway. It's not about what may not be for me, but what did not if I should be participating in the first place? Because if I participate with a wrong reasons not only am I going to go off of it and it's like what happened to my mother who died from an STD, not only could I myself could have been an STD positive baby, but I could go for a bit and up with the same fate. I will be burping children out of wedlock that deserve to be in a stable relationship. That's not what that's for. That's abusing its power. There is consequences. Maybe you don't give a damn about the consequences. But I do. That's why guys like you, I rejected all the way. Because y'all not serious, y'll irresponsible. I am not a human sex toy. I am a human being. And if I'm not going to be treated like a human being, neither am I going to treat a person less than a human being. Because if I do what you suggested, then I can run through any man I choose, and whoever gets hurt gets hurt.
@btbc92 I didn't got married to the other girls because over time the relationship faded. And it was never because the sex was bad, it was simply because we slowly discovered that we were not compatible personality wise.
1. Yes. And that's why when they looking for love now they can hardly find it.
2. Yes they done it, and that's why they can't even have them now. That's why a lot of them are broken. That's why a lot of them are hopping from guy to guy, that's why I like Adam cannot be married to stay married. I know because I'm friends with such people. Don't talk about something you don't know. You're not a woman. You don't know a woman's desire. A woman just wants to be chosen. The only reason why to have sex with her boyfriend is again is because it's expected. If marriage was offered at a young age they would get married in a heartbeat. That's all they want. To be loved. Not sex. We've just been taught that if we don't have sex we get no guy. No marriage. If another guy who me we treated us badly or differently, then two things will happen:
1. Either we've been used up so bad we now have trust issues and hurt the guy, further determining our fate of lonilenss, and no husband, to be used as whores all our days. Or.
2. We will drop guys like you for him immediately, ha e kids with them and maybe love happily ever after.
That is how it goes. In the end, we hate it. But we just tolerate it.
@btbc92 please tell me then I'm what ways does you personally magically changes when you have sex or when you marry.
Also for the record all women I was with either I was in a serious relationship or I made clear that it was a one time thing. Never deceived anyone.
If you don't want an STD or an early child use protection. Easy.
No. The relationship faded because you allowed it to fate it. That was your fault. You did this not only to yourself. You did it to this girl's. And a way you did marry them. But you married them spiritually illegally in God's eyes. You chose to hop in bed with a girl you're not legally married to, still away her future regardless if it was consensual or not, and you break up because you so callex discovered you was not compatible personality wise? Are you freaking kidding me! You have destroyed multiple lives all of pettiness? Really? This is why people like you are not taken seriously. That is the most ridiculous excuse for a breakup I have ever heard. But you can hop in bed? I feel sorry for every woman that you slept with that have to deal with that nonsense.
Don't say sorry to me. Sorry doesn't bring her back. Which is why she taught me better. you wait until marriage. That is irresponsible. The same thing that happened to her could be the same thing that can happen for these women. And you fooled around and telling me that it's okay? Last I checked I don't think murder is okay.
@btbc92 you know that relationships can end if at some point you find out that you are not personality wise compatible right? One of the times she was the one who broke up with me exactly because of that.
Who did I destroyed their lives? Again some I was clear it was an one time thing and they were very happy to get under me anyway. Because yes they can have sex and keep feelings out of it. Do it just for pleasure. The others yes as I knew them better I found out they were not the right ones for me. And sex was never the reason why I left.
What I realize is that a lot of you people take this stuff as a joke, and don't see how very serious these kind of things are. That is still pettiness. If you are so concerned about being compatible with your personality, you do that as a friend. You don't do that with complete strangers, you don't just get your stuff into anything you don't know about, and you make sure you understand what is required of you. You are both equally at fault. That's childish. First of all, if you're doing it solely for that, it's about that anyway. That won't change is because you have feelings in it or not. Feelings don't mean nothing. This is what you choose to give it meaning to. And yes you helped destroy their lies regardless because if they don't think and use their brains, the net equally as stupid. You're just as much as responsible as they are. Especially if you already knew better. You already just admitted that there was very happy to do so. A lot of times they just do stupid anyway especially if they are going. No. The only reason why they can keep their feelings out of it it's because they are already sexually and emotionally broken because they slept around with more men before they got with you. That's the only reason why I left they was already emotionally abusive prior. It's not about they were not the right one for you. But that you should have kept your junk in your trunk not touch them. You just made it more difficult for them as you did for yourself. That is lacking common sense.
First of all you do understand that STDs can show up between 3 months and five years correct? I hope that you was taught this in sex education. You can still be infected and it won't show up on the test. For men you have more science symptoms than we do for women. I have family members and friends don't work in the medical field so I know.
@btbc92
1. You misunderstood. I mean that they wanted just sex. Not love. They wanted just sex.
2. Having sex doesn't break them. Having a relationship fail hurts regardless of if you had sex with that person or not.
But just because you had sex with a person that you broken up with doesn't mean you will have a harder time connecting with the next person.
1. Any women who tells you theu just want sex is lying. They want more, but only have sex to avoid getting atta he's and rejected. I never misunderstood. I'm telling you to not always believe the sugar coating lies that we tell you. We tell you Mendes. But will we talk to our female friends and other females, we tell a different story.
2. Again, you are not a woman. My friends who had premarital sex before marriage can clearly tell you that sex dust break a person. A failed relationship only hurts when you are sexually invested in a person. When you're not as emotionally invested in the person it won't hurt as much. But once you have sex, that's pretty much the end of the world. And yes it does. Science prove otherwise. The more a woman have sex with different partners, the less he has the ability to attach. That's things bonding chemicals affect her especially when she starts having children. They feel disconnected.
Back when I was in high school, I had classmates that were often invite guys over to their parents house when they were born, just to have sex with so many of them. And they all said the same thing and they not even friends with each other, or know this info. So how do you even figure?
@btbc92 I know that some treat it as a joke. Still apps like tinder exist because so many, men and women, just want to fool around. As long as both sides are on the same page nothing is wrong.
You have to connect way WAY over the friendship level to enter in a relationship with someone.
It's not because they are already broken, it's because they are happy to just have sexual pleasure and nothing more.
@btbc92 I am a regular blood donner. They always test the samples they are given and sent the result home. I know I am clean.
Again, you can say that because you're a man. You are not a woman. You don't know what a woman has to go through an indoor. That's why we can tell you that and you will soak up the line. A lot of people are not on the same page. Everybody at that point is looking out for their own interest. Again, statistics says otherwise. Kinder exist because a lot of people are not interested in your relationship anymore. It has nothing to do with they just want to fool around. But that they have already given up.
Is people are not being shown with a real marriage and relationship should be like? What makes you think so many people are going to live in a fantasy when that is not their reality anymore. This is now 2020. This is not 1800s or early 1900s anymore. This is why people like my living grandmother is now shocked that so many people are just doing these things and hopping around like dogs. And even she can tell you that it was not like this during her time. People had done it yes, but they would have been publicly humiliated.
@btbc92 can women orgasm? Can women feel pleasure? Do women feel sexual desire? Do women masturbate? Then they can do it just for it and leave feelings out of it.
That idea that women can't have sex just for pleasure is outdated.
It's not outdated. It's not about if women masturbate. It's not about if woman feel sexual desire. It's not about it will make you feel pleasure. It's not about if a woman can orgasm. It's not about they can just do it in the feelings out of it. It's about what is the purpose of it? And why it's being done. We do it because we want to love. It's not about pleasure. It's not about desire. It's not about any of those things. When a woman masturbates no different than a man masturbate, do you already conditioning yourself into what you believe sex is like but that's not what it is. That's why so many people are sexually frustrated and miserable. It's not outdated, it's very real because that's how we are biologically designed. You can't change biology. If a woman is not being loved properly and, then it won't matter if Pleasures being felt or not. She will still grow to hate sex. But will only do it because she will be told as she's not normal. Again, you are not a woman. You don't know what a woman goes through. Anymore you wish to dispute I can give those answers.
None of those things matter. You've just been taught that it does. When you was a child did you know if it matters or not? Nope. You had to learn from somewhere. But just because you learned from somewhere, that doesn't make it true. You have to look what's right in front of you and beyond that. But it's a choice to choose to learn about it, instead of taking it for face value. I'm a virgin. And it sounds like to me and I know a lot more about sex than you do for somebody who has more experience than me.
@btbc92 they have not given up on a relationship. That's simply not what they want at the moment. They can just want sex. Women too.
It's very good that people are not shamed for having sexual desires anymore. Now we are free to explore. To know what we like and want. To search for that person with who we can connect on every level.
They've given up what a true relationship is because it no longer meets the standards of society today. First of all no. People got shamed not for those desires. But that is not being done right and you end up messing up others lies with it. You explore that within the marriage. You don't explore that with different people. It's not for you to know what you like and what you want. That's something that you already learned when you are married. You search for that person that you marry with. And you connect with the person you make as your spouse on every level. You're not going to gain that by Sleeping with other people. It's not about what they don't want at the moment. It's a simple matter of are they going to treat it with respect or abuse it. People today abused it this is why it's not taken seriously anymore.
That's whoredoms, harlotry and adultery. That's why he especially in America we a suffering even more, because when we had things straight with a nuclear family, which was the husband, the wife, and the children, now everything is broken down. When you're not where you supposed to be for yourself, then the whole country suffers.
What you choose to do with your sex life doesn't just affect families, it doesn't just affect your personal life, it doesn't just affect your children, it affects your community, it affects your education, your job, the economy, everything. Everything is affected. This is why it was warned against doing these things. And anybody who didn't want to comply they got punished. Because if they didn't get punished, then it would teach other people especially young children that it's okay to do these things and this is why the world is the way it is today. When you choose to have interest insects. You find one partner oh, and you marry them. If you feel that you cannot just be with a person for whatever reason, you don't just pick up and marry them. You take your time and you find somebody who you're going to be serious with. But once you have that person you had them for life. That's it. There is no do overs and there are no trade in. Because not about what you want. It's about what needs to be done. That means if you're going to be Blissful in your marriage then is going to be blessed, if you're going to have Helen it, there's going to be hell. That's normal. That's what marriage is. Not all about pleasure and it's not all about happiness. It's about learning to build and work together so both of you can survive. because remember. You're the one that have to live together with that person. Because if you're selfish, then you live with it and deal with it.
@btbc92
Yes it is about pleasure. Why do you think that people who marry and live each other do it? Just to have kids? No! Because it feels good. People have sex because it feels good. Simple as that. Not to do it makes you sexually frustrated and unhappy.
Biology made sure we got pleasure out of it. So we like it. We have it. It's not more complicated than that.
Society's standards for a relationship is just two loving individuals who want to share a life together.
What happens if you just explore within the marriage and them you don't like it with that person? This is why so many people then have the need to look for it outside the marriage.
"It's not for you to know what you like and what you want." Are you joking? Yes it is! Of course I have to know what I want otherwise I will marry what I don't want and marry the wrong person.
It doesn't affect any of that. People don't magically became different after sex or after marriage.
You know that you can take your time and find if you truly love someone while also having sex with them right?
@btbc92 I have to sleep now, but don't worry I will continue to talk with you tomorrow.
@btbc92 on a last note, it was never all about me. I always made sure my partners had an orgasm too. I wanted them to have their fun too.
And whatever you believe it or not, the one time things didn't want anything out of me more than sex. It was mutual and so there is nothing wrong with that.
Again, your missing the point. It's not about pleasure. People marry do it because again they want to love each other. As I said I have married friends who can tell you otherwise. Yes some do it to have kids. But what makes it feel good is knowing that you are being loved by the person and not because you're being used for pleasure. Because now is you being used for pleasure, then it's not going to feel the same. No, God make sure that we get pleasure out of it. Not biology. And it's only as complicated as you make. No Society standards is exactly what you're doing. Having sex before marriage, doing what you want for the sake of your own.
When you get married, it's not about what you don't like. It's about loving the person. You don't do that outside of marriage because now you run to higher risk of getting. You don't marry for what you want and don't want. You married for the other person. Actually, nobody ever said that is about magic. It's about the changes you get to see physically in the changes you don't know. No that's not how that works. If you go to have sex in sex is just sex. You can't love somebody if you're just in lust anyway. That's how many people end up getting fooled into marrying the wrong person, or having sex with the wrong people.
Again is not about making sure your partner's orgasm. Is not about them having fun. It's again having love for the other person. As long as you have love for the other person, you don't have to worry about any of that stuff. The only reason why you say that now, it's because you're the one that had sex at a very young age. You're the one that had sex with x amount of Partners I would not be surprised if it's more than 10. So once you already done that you already conditioned yourself for that. So anything that what you're saying is basically the sex talkin. It's not the true you. Not the one boy who decides to give away his virginity.
Again, I have friends who done all that stuff that you talked about. And one who have explained about what it felt like to do the kind of things that you did. And let me just tell you something. They said once they done stuff like that, they didn't feel good. They felt awful and felt worse been having that done in a relationship and then get broken off. That's why the same people they ended up getting therapy because that's how much it broken down as people. And even after they went with different people, and some have gotten married, now they don't feel the same even if they get married. They feel even worse with their partners. My late mother was the same. And she only had two.
Again, you're young yet as well. You don't know what the future holds for you in this marriage. Many of my friends married young. I can only hope that your marriage last and that you don't foolish to think that none of what happened before that doesn't have consequences. But who knows. Maybe you just don't care about it. I know for myself, I rather not set myself up for failure.
@btbc92
They do it because they love each other? If that was the case to hold hands is enough of a loving and tender act. Why sex? Because it gives them pleasure.
Not biology? Do you know that other animals also like to have sex out of pleasure besides humans right? There is even documented cases of dophins fucking half eaten squids.
I do agree that when made with someone you love is better. But it doesn't mean that people can't enjoy it with a person they just met.
Of course we marry for the other person. Because the other person is what we want. I know that I am what/who my wife wants too.
You can lust over someone, that brings you to that person and as you know eachother you can fall in love.
After married I still lust over my wife. I wouldn't have a healthy relationship otherwise.
Do tell me what changes after you have sex and after you marry.
No one does it for not orgasming at some point. You say people do it for love, but no one just puts it in and stop right away. They do it until they orgasm.
I don't lose bits of myself for having sex with more than one person. Where is the logic in that?
I don't know a single person that didn't had sex with others before marriage that felt bad over it, or that had any trouble connecting to another person after.
Makes no sense why they would. Again having sex does not changes who you are.
The only consequence that it will have is that I am actually better at sex and that I know what I want. Same things applies to my wife, she knew what she wanted sexually and I could give.
I think it's juts very clear that you as a person who is just sex obsessed and advocate sex for the sake of sex. No. Some have sex just like most men when they ha e love for each other that is true and actically fulfilling. Women don't like unfufillinh relationships no matter how much they want sex. Lust is lust. It doesn't bring you to a person you love.. fallinh in love is simply emotions and hormones. It's infatuation. It has nothing to do with love. NO. You can have a healthy relationship with your wife. You just choose to lust, which is wrong go do. Nobody is going to tell you theor sexual business becaus esobody like you would be too be judging about why should they feel bad. It's personal. So, again, if you wanted to sleep around before you married, that was your choice. If she wanted to sleep around before getting married that also was her choice. You both did things that made you compatible to sleep with each other. Love have 0 to do what you are saying. Maybe lie to yourseld about it maybe. But absolutely 0.
We are not animals we are human beings. What theu do is what theu do. What we choose to do is what we choose to do. We have nothing to do with how we choose to have sex. It's a choice. Perhaps in your country everyvody like to screw around. But I am certain it is more culture based the it is simply about "biology". You bread yourselves for that. But it still doesn't dispute what I said.
@btbc92 I simply advocate that both men and women don't become different people just because they have sex. It makes no sense to think they do.
No one likes unfulfilling relationships for that you just become friends with benefits.
You think that people don't keep feeling out of sex, but yet most do. Before we started to date we were best friends. My feelings for her grew by the day until I wanted a relationship with her. Was the same to her. After that we had sex and continued to love each other more and more until the day we got married. Having sex has nothing to do with the feelings you have for the other. Nothing.
We do chose how we have sex. We chose to chose to have it because we want it, because it feels good. And by "we" I mean most human beings. It's not a cultural thing. If anything hook-up culture is alive and well everywhere.
@thisismyopinion
"I simply advocate that both men and women don't become different people just because they have sex. It makes no sense to think they do." Unless you speak for all people and actually have proof of that, then no, your own talking about based on your experiences, which doesn't speak for those who don't share them.
"No one likes unfulfilling relationships for that you just become friends with benefits." If you're screwing around and whoring for the sake of screwing around and whoring, then it's screwing around and whoring. Your not friends. You're just having sex. Period. I'm pretty sure the book Hooked, and other studies by psychologist, scientist, etc, disproves otherwise of your claim. Many regret this practice.
Again show evidence to dispute your claim. Because can assure you many have divorces and bad relationships now because of these things. You cannot speak for the entire world. Speak solely for yourself. It is still wrong. And as I SAID before, right now you are still around my age and have yet to see this for yourself.
@btbc92 I do have proof, is called common sense.
But that's the idea. To have sex. It's called "friends with benefits" but yes it is about sex. Both men and women have friends with benefits. Why? Because sex feels good and does not have to be attached with feelings.
I am 100% sure you don't speak for everyone in the world either. On fact according to what girls on this site say you actually speak for a very small minority.
You call that common sense? I don't speak for a minoirgu, I speak for those who know, those who been through it and those who refuse to say it because people like you take away their voice to voice them. Again, you have 0 proof.
Either that or your inhuman. No rational human speaks what you speak. And I will post up the statistics and articles to prove it. You are -1000% wrong.
@btbc92 I speak for those who I know, for the people I hear here and from what I hear in real life.
Already more proof than you.
Or... put this option... because they don't want a relationship at the moment and just want fun. Maybe that.
Says the person who thinks that people change who they are, for some contrive reason, after they have sex.
On that I have way more experience than you honey and I can tell you that people can and do have sex just for pleasure. Whitout getting damaged or different than they were after. I speak for me and the girls I was with.
@ThisIsMyOpinion
"I speak for those who I know, for the people I hear here and from what I hear in real life.
Already more proof than you." No. You gave me your false conscious bias instead of the proof.
"Or... put this option... because they don't want a relationship at the moment and just want fun. Maybe that." Yeah, and good luck to them finding partners who don't want their number or know what the hell they were doing whoring around.
"Says the person who thinks that people change who they are, for some contrive reason, after they have sex.
On that I have way more experience than you honey and I can tell you that people can and do have sex just for pleasure. Whitout getting damaged or different than they were after. I speak for me and the girls I was with." Okay. Sure. I'll believe them when I hear them. Other than that. No. You're wrong and here is the evidence to show. And you can decide to ignore and be ignorant or wise up.
www.amazon.com/.../0802450601
pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/.../
scholarsarchive.byu.edu/.../viewcontent.cgi
www.apa.org/.../ce-corner
www.webmd.com/.../theres-benefits-in-delaying-sex-until-marriage
www.independent.co.uk/.../...ionships-8100740.html
ifstudies.org/.../counterintuitive-trends-in-the-link-between-premarital-sex-and-marital-stability
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5184218/
You and your wife may be the minority that doesn't give a damn. But I am pretty certain the entire face of the human race doesn't like it. You go ahead and choose to live in that bubble. I am glad my late mother taught me better. Your experience with sex means nothing if it wasn't meaningful and just a quick release. Tell that lie to somebody who is gullible enough to believe it. Because I do not.
I am in the states and my divorce rate is higher than yours. You're in Portugal yet your numbers are not that staller than mine. I rest my case:
worldpopulationreview.com/.../divorce-rates-by-country
@btbc92 Yes friends with benefits don't end up in relationships. They are not supposed to.
Don't worry I can post studies too.
www.sciencedaily.com/.../190827123518.htm
thoughtcatalog.com/.../
www.focusonthefamily.com/.../
www.huffpost.com/.../sex-before-marriage_n_3333073
www.google.com/.../women-are-more-interested-in-sex-than-you-think-studies-show-1464626176
Also prudes tend to have longer marriages because they tend to be very religious persons and so don't believe in divorce.
Yes the rate of divorces is high. So what? Doesn't tell you why. You can't set that it is because they had sex before marriage. Especially since that though is nonsense.
@btbc92 go ahead and ask girls today. Why did they had sex. Why they still do it? Ask of that changed them.
They will tell you that they do it because they like it, they will tell you they still do it because they like it and that nothing about them changed after it.
@btbc92 You are the one with a bias conclusion. Listen to the girls on this very site if you want.
Having sex before marriage is one thing. Whoring around is another.
Again ask they girls on this site if you want. Or shall I?
@ThisIsMyOpinion I figured you were going to have that reaction. And once more, you're proving you're losing the arguments. first of all, Prudes don't like marriage, etc. Basically your version of an asexual person. So your not helping your case at all.
"go ahead and ask girls today. Why did they had sex. Why they still do it? Ask of that changed them.
They will tell you that they do it because they like it, they will tell you they still do it because they like it and that nothing about them changed after it." Really? Because I so happen to know that you never paid attention to anything I said prior, because I remember telling you that I know people personally who do those things. And no. They didn't do it solely because of any of those things. They did it because again, guys like you wouldn't date them without sex. Many came out from toxic relationships and wanted to forget who they lose their virginities too and slept with. And yes, they did change and affected future relationships and marriages.
"Why did they had sex." Some don't know why they did it. They just felt they had to. A few as I just said, got out of a bad relationship so they try to forget. And it got worse.
"Why they still do it?" They no longer do it because its damaging and they have had to get professional counseling and help because of it. They're behavior towards people like me changed and they became hostile and felt I was a threat to their relationships or used me to promote what was wrong.
"Ask of that changed them." They ended up depressed, miserable, guarded, uncertain for the future, one or two wanted to become a cutter, etc. Their physical healthy changed. Especially with hormones and their periods. They didn't feel like the same people, and that a part of them is gone.
"They will tell you that they do it because they like it, they will tell you they still do it because they like it and that nothing about them changed after it." They did not like it. One admitted that it felt good and different than their boyfriend, but they still felt dirty, they didn't feel loved, and they didn't feel happy with it. A lot of themselves changed so much that when they looked at their old pic to their current, they saw two different people. And it's whom they grew to dislike. But few whiles regretted their decisions, felt that they had to go through it to learn from their mistakes. That's all. They would never do it again or advocate for others to do it. They even told me to not do it. Talk all you want.
@btbc92 Yes they do. They just wait to have sex after they marry.
You know people who said different. I know people who don't say different. You and your friends are the minority. Today girls want sex for pleasure as much as us. And their futures only change for the better because now they are good at it and know what they want.
Being sexually incompatible can be a real problem. And this goes for girls too. You don't know that but I do with the experience that I have.
You are talking about your friends and the ones you know. Ask others.
Sex is just that, sex.
Listen I had girls coming up to me at a bar wanting to buy me drinks. They wanted to fuck me and nothing more. Not my love. Just pleasure. Do you think they were broken? No of course not. There is nothing wrong in desiring pleasure. Desire and sex drive is normal. Everyone has it. Even you.
How we deal with it well... The girls you talked to handled it very poorly.
I also hope that you would know that some of those girls even on this site from under 18 to as old as 60 have spoken to me privately about these issues. And their experiences from those I know in IRL are very similar in detail it is a PATTERN. That also goes for a few males as well who struggle sexually because again PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE TOO BUSY JUDGING THEM. They don't want to talk to people like you. I do not have a bias. I am telling you what over 20 females and males from the time I first came to this site, and even on other social media who had this convo all said. They HATE IT. Having sex before marriage is still whoring around. 1 time with 1 partner is harlotry. More than 1 and its whoredoms. I didn't make the rules. That's why a good amount of them now is also my 'followers'. Some don't like me on here, I don't care for that. I'm here for those who need to hear that insight, experience, etc. I am not here for people who think they got it made but want to drive the rest of us sane people nuts. Having sex, be it outside of marriage or not, like drugs, alcohol, video games, porn, sugar, being a shopaholic, etc is ADDICTIVE. If they are conditioned, abused, and grew up a certain way or in a toxic environment, they start believing this stuff is NORMAL. And it's not. It just has been normalized. A few even on here that do it you can tell are somewhat either mentally ill or they're mentally broken. They need psychological HELP. Not sex. That's like giving a drug addict their "fix" of choice, instead of curing the problem by whining them out little by little and replace what they're lacking with what they are needing to heal. They need HELP.
If your psychological connections were broken by an unhealthy upbringing or lifestyle, that changes your brain's physiology. Because that's exactly what you sound like you went through in order for you to actually believe this. And I am sad to tell you, it's not normal.
@ThisIsMyOpinion I am NOW talking about the ones on this site. Not just those I personally know. Let me tell you a little something about women since you are NOT a woman. But I will clear everything else out of the way first:
"Yes they do. They just wait to have sex after they marry." Nothing to do with that. It's all about mentality and how they grew up thinking and learning about sex. There are people who hated having sex after they married simply because they never believed in waiting in the first place. They just wanted sexual benefits.
"You know people who said different. I know people who don't say different. You and your friends are the minority. Today girls want sex for pleasure as much as us. And their futures only change for the better because now they are good at it and know what they want." 1800 century, 2020, it doesn't change. They don't do it for pleasure, they learned to adapt to get men. That's it. They're futures are changing for the worse, the hell your talking about. Sex is not about what you want, it's what again, you share with the other person.
"Being sexually incompatible can be a real problem. And this goes for girls too. You don't know that but I do with the experience that I have." Sexual compatibility is not a real thing. It is simply do one desires to have sex or not, when and when not to, the amount of sex partners one has or not. That is all it is. Not having sex. I know a hell of a lot to know that much.
"You are talking about your friends and the ones you know. Ask others.
Sex is just that, sex." I didn't I ALREADY told you I did ask others? Your not paying attention.
@btbc92 let me tell you how it went down...
The people you talked to sadly didn't had the best experience with sex. For several reasons. They didn't like it. They were played by their partner. They felt some obligation to do it and then felt dirty afterwards.
What about the ones who do have good experiences? What about the ones who have a good partner? What about the ones that just want please and get it without complications or feelings?
Do you judge those girls? Do you think that just because they enjoyed sex before marriage that they won't ever be able to have a good successful relationship? Or that they lose their ability to form deep connections?
None of that is true! You judge them when you know nothing about it. You judge me when you know nothing about it.
Yes, some people do have bad sexual experiences and suffer from them.
But more people than ever are having sex for a reason. Reason being it feels good. It's a full on adventure with a happy ending. That is all.
"Listen I had girls coming up to me at a bar wanting to buy me drinks. They wanted to fuck me and nothing more. Not my love. Just pleasure. Do you think they were broken? No of course not." That's exactly what broken people do. You must not have gone to college or something to know psychological problems women especially suffer just to even get 1 man interested in us for other than our body. She did itbecause she felt lonely. Underneath all of that, she just wants to be chosen by 1 man. She knows its not you, but secretly she hopes. If she says no an runs after sex, its because she was broken before and is gaurded. Sex is now meaningless needs to her.
"There is nothing wrong in desiring pleasure. Desire and sex drive is normal. Everyone has it. Even you." I know how God designed me, but he didn't say for me to be a slut or a whore. He says for us to pick one partner and get married, and you have sex with ONLY that partner until one of you dies. Then if you desire, you can marry another. Desiring pleasure is wrong. Desiring sex is not. But sex is a marriage and marriage is all about sex. So if one desires sex, get married. Not that hard.
"How we deal with it well... The girls you talked to handled it very poorly." No, they handled it the way it is normal for them to handle it. They're human. And what your talking about is not human. Human's connect. Not supposed to disconnect. For you to speak like that says your a broken man also.
@btbc92 You never had it with more than one person so you don't know. Sexual compatibility is a thing indeed.
The one that don't have sex before marriage risk not being sexually compatible with their partner.
I also heard people here say otherwise. Now who has the majority on their side? Let's remember that women have now sex more than ever before. Why would that be?
Not because they want love. But because they want pleasure.
That changed for many years ago with so many contraceptive options. Now women can have sex for pleasure so they do.
@btbc92 No that is what confident people who know what they want do. They want pleasure, they searched for it. Wanting pleasure is natural, humans have sex drive. To ignore it over fear is the things that shows signs of being broken.
God designed you as a human. Humans have sexual desire. That is proven.
Humans don't have to connect over sex. Humans connect yes, but not necessarily with sex.
Uh, I'm sure my friends would have a serious talk with you if not curse you out for trying to psychoanalyze what they did and how they did it.
"let me tell you how it went down...
"The people you talked to sadly didn't had the best experience with sex. For several reasons. They didn't like it. They were played by their partner. They felt some obligation to do it and then felt dirty afterwards." WRONG!!! They loved every bit of it and was supposed to get married to these guys. It had nothing to do with obligation. We women are designed to attached sexually. With each sex partner that connection drops. They very much enjoy sex otherwise they wouldn't be seeking partners to marry and stayed married too. They guys just acted like you.
"What about the ones who do have good experiences?" Experience means nothing without having a stable partner. That's all a woman wants. Somebody to chose her, be with her, be satisfied with only HER, make babies with only HER, and be with her to you two drop dead. All they will do is just take the same baggage into other relationships and it gets worse over time. They have brain studies to show this. Again you ignored the studies which I KNEW you would do.
"What about the ones who have a good partner?" It's only as good as it lasts. That's it. A good partner is somebody who takes care of them. Not walk when things get hard. Which is what many did if not just abused them.
"What about the ones that just want please and get it without complications or feelings?" That is not how sex works. Nor how biology works. Have that complaint to God and oxytocin and Testosterone and all the other chemicals that make up your body. They are again, usually broken people unless there is something genetically in them that makes them sleep around with others, and that is the cause of generational curses and cultural conditioning.
"Do you judge those girls? Do you think that just because they enjoyed sex before marriage that they won't ever be able to have a good successful relationship? Or that they lose their ability to form deep connections?" I don't judge people. I use the word of God to say what needs to be said. In the end, God is in control. Nobody ever said that sex cannot be enjoyable but that there are a TIME and PLACE for it or there are consequences. Many don't find or have healthy stable relationships to begin with, and poor marriages. And yes, they do lose these connections eventually. Some worse than others.
"None of that is true! You judge them when you know nothing about it. You judge me when you know nothing about it." I Know very much by how your talking, saying and acting that you either do have an education and refuse to use the smarts you were taught, or that you weren't taught at all and refuse to learn anything. The studies and statistics doesn't lie. People's life journeys and problems, don't lie. People's death like my late mothers doesn't lie. I know more than enough for other professionals to say that I myself need to be one also.
"Yes, some people do have bad sexual experiences and suffer from them.
But more people than ever are having sex for a reason. Reason being it feels good. It's a full on adventure with a happy ending. That is all." When in marriage, yes. Outside of it, it is Russian Roulette.
"You never had it with more than one person so you don't know. Sexual compatibility is a thing indeed.
The one that don't have sex before marriage risk not being sexually compatible with their partner." First of all, I am a virgin who knows to only have sex with one person and that is with my husband. As long as that person didn't have sex with other people, masturbated, or watched porn, I am compatible sexually. My libido will link with his and we will be in sync and be one as God said. I will be attached to him and desire only him, and likewise. That is how healthy sex goes. If you had sex with multiple people then sure, you will be all over the place. Like a chicken without it's head. Sexual compatibility again, and even my own father who again had 40+ women have even said this 'People who talk that sexual compatibility crap before marriage is BS! If you're going to f***, you do. If you don't, you don't. I should know because I have done it, and most of these people besides these women who had a taste before marriage would hop to different men.' Hence why now he lost a lot of respect for women. And he was married to my mother, so how do you figure? As long as your desires are aligned your compatible. Especially for virgins, we can take any size, etc. It's biology. It has nothing to do with that. If you're having problems sexually they have a test to determine if your libido levels are low, etc, and work with you to help. That's what loving partners do. They don't toss you away like trash just because you're not sexually satisfied. For those reasons I am GLAD I don't have those problems, isn't married, never been with anyone. Because so many of you are out of control and will screw me up when I have a clean slate.
“No that is what confident people who know what they want do. They want pleasure, they searched for it. Wanting pleasure is natural, humans have sex drive. To ignore it over fear is the things that shows signs of being broken.” Nobody ignores it for the sake of it. Self-discipline and control is about being responsible and respectful to the other person. Otherwise, your basically saying that we shouldn’t jail rapist, because its natural that they want to rape. You can’t have it both ways. It has 0 to do with people being confident. It has nothing to do with pleasure being natural or that human’s have a sex drive. Its about should one even be having sex at ALL? Not everybody is called to have sex and not to be having it for all the wrong reasons, which you clearly are describing.
“God designed you as a human. Humans have sexual desire. That is proven.” WOW, like I don’t know that I have a period and a libido that I knew I had since 7… I’m so dumb! ^^ But you don’t see me whoring though, right? Because I have better control. That doesn’t make me broken. That makes me responsible to not have sex unless with a husband, which I do not have and not looking for. You are not going to die nothing having sex.
“Humans don't have to connect over sex. Humans connect yes, but not necessarily with sex.” Again, your not God to determine that. If God didn’t want us to connect with sex, he wouldn’t have created marriage. He wouldn’t have sex that only a man and a woman should have sex and only in a marriage that he put together. He wouldn’t say for us to be fruitful and multiply. He wouldn’t say in 1 Corins 7, for Paul to write that because there is so much sexual immorality, to let every man have his own wife and every woman have her own husband. Further clarify, to paraphrase that it is WISE to remain in abstinence/celibate [As I am and have chosen] but if one cannot contain themselves sexually, let them marry. AND NOT DIVORCE. I rest my case. I can only pray you don't get a divorce down the road.
@btbc92 I gave examples of what could have happened. And if they did not had any bad experience with sex, but blame sex then they are just out of their minds.
"With each sex partner that connection drops" -> this is what is wrong! Women don't have a limit storage of connection to give. That is riddiculous.
"Experience means nothing without having a stable partner." It absolutely does. Tell you what you want and if you are comatible with a partner or not. Yes sexual compatablity is a thing. That experience you say means nothing taught me that.
I also gave you studies. Did you ignored those?
"t's only as good as it lasts." Wrong. Even if a relationship end you will always have some good memories. Some of them can be in bed.
"That is not how sex works" That is how sex workds! Also we do have sexual drive and it can be mentaly scaring to try to ignore it.
@btbc92
"They are again, usually broken people" and you say that you don't judge them. Yes you do. Call them broken. Wrong. The ones afraid of sex are the broken ones since they can't keep their feelings out of it.
Again, women don't have a limit for the connections that they can form. Besides just because you can't keep feelings out of sex doesn't mean other women can't. I met so many that could and today are in loving and stable relationships.
I have a good education and much notion than you about how things work. I also gave you studies that tell you otherwise.
I am sorry for your mother. That I am. And trust me when I say that I was careful in everything that I did. I am not a monster.
If you are in a one night stand I agree that it is a gamble. Specially for you girls. But if you are in a loving relationship and want to have sex before marriage it's not a gamble.
@btbc92 That is not true. No matter if he masturbated, whatched prorn or had sex with another girls. If you are not sexually compatible you won't be. That is part of a person. Simple as that.
Sex is not how you think it is. You libidos don't match out of love. The first time he asks you for sex and you don't feel like it remember this conversation. Because that will happen!
They ignore it. No matter who you want to call it, they do. You do. Or are you going to tell me you never looked at a guy and in your head you were like "Hum he is cute/hot".
Raping is a crime done against the other person will. People can hold their sexual drive. Doesn't mean they should. They don't have a real good reason for it.
No, you don't have control. You have fear. Fear that for some stupid reason you will lose the ability to connect with another. Which is just false.
Your devotion to God also tells me a few things about you. Let me ask, when did God talked to you? Never right? He did it from other people. Don't you think it's fun that when religious fanatics many years ago said that sex is a sin, because they were told so by God. And we are supposed to believe? Based on what?
@ThisIsMyOpinion
""They are again, usually broken people" and you say that you don't judge them. Yes you do. Call them broken. Wrong. The ones afraid of sex are the broken ones since they can't keep their feelings out of it." Says the person who talks like their mentally not there. Everything you're saying about people being so-called afraid of sex you actually talking about yourself, and it tells me a lot about your life and sex life so bad, I can tell it's not healthy. One can make a righteous judgment as long as they don't do the same sins. So no. I do not. Practically everything I say comes from the word, therefore it's not me judging, it's already written and already there.
" I gave examples of what could have happened. And if they did not had any bad experience with sex, but blame sex then they are just out of their minds.
"With each sex partner that connection drops" -> this is what is wrong! Women don't have a limit storage of connection to give. That is riddiculous." everybody has a limit. EVERYBODY. And when you go beyond your means of a limit it is self-destructive. Pretty much how you're sounding. Nobody is out of their minds for blaming sex. Yes, they made their choices, but that's all the more reason why you do NOT have premarital sex before marriage. Anybody with common sense can see how doing that with the wrong reasons, the wrong type of person, etc can be detrimental. I can see more and more you've been disappointed and hurt in the past. Because you're going off of your bad experiences with sex so it's no wonder why you abuse it so much.
" It absolutely does. Tell you what you want and if you are comatible with a partner or not. Yes sexual compatablity is a thing. That experience you say means nothing taught me that. I also gave you studies. Did you ignored those?" Nope. Didn't ignore them. Just knew what the cause is for those studies that conflict what is actually the reality. And no. You've been taught wrong because that what made you feel good about your wrongdoings. Again, compatibility is a simple matter of talking and being mindful of each other. Sex is learned not taught. Yours taught yourself sex is a simple means of pleasure and nothing more. That's your poor damaging experience. That's your way of having sex. And it leads to misery. Which is probably why none of those relationships lasted. Granted. I see why.
""t's only as good as it lasts." Wrong. Even if a relationship end you will always have some good memories. Some of them can be in bed." You call those good memories? That is not good memories when you're supposed to be with that one person for the rest of your life! I am pretty certain my late mom and friends did NOT have good memories of having sex with people in their minds and feel guilty with their partners or husband. This is why so many women think of their first or last partners and not you! They're not having sex with you. They have had sex with their past, your just the vessel physically to think of physically. They're disconnected from sex and it's hard for women especially to not think of their last partner. This is how so many assume the other is cheating. How the hell you have all this sexual experience and you don't even know this? Again, sounds like you don't care to know about sex except justing screwing. That is harassment and it leaves women miserable. Anybody else who enjoys those so-called memories is usually those who whored around so much they don't give a damn who they hurt as long as their sexual wants are given. The ones who hold no qualms in cheating on their partners or leave you for another man. That only just says more your effed yourself up royally and now you can't control yourself well. Married or not.
Those are not good memories for women who believe in monogamy. Religion has 0 to do with that. Religion holds no bearing on what a person thinks unless they choose to. When it comes to the things of God and what he calls for a person to do, that is different. Because one trusts that he knows what is best for us. Those who rely on religion to fix them often end up in failure or trouble, instead of trusting God to lead. You lead yourself. So, therefore, those are all your problems.
""That is not how sex works" That is how sex workds! Also we do have sexual drive and it can be mentaly scaring to try to ignore it." No. It just scared peopel like you, because everything your telling me, says you didn't have much of a good childhood, your first sexual experiences was damaged because either you and or your partner wasn't really serious and made things purely sexual many partners after. Your screwed up yourself. That is not how sex works. Because if that is how sex works, many other people would not have stable marriages, etc. They have stable marriages because they didn't just screw anybody they wanted. They took the time to get to know them and took it seriously. And now their children are equally learning how to date properly. I'm am 100% certain sex doesn't work like how you think it. You just conditioned yourself sexually to do that, so you attracted others who done the same, or equally similar.
"If you are in a one night stand I agree that it is a gamble. Specially for you girls. But if you are in a loving relationship and want to have sex before marriage it's not a gamble." Now this is how I know your being foolish. It is still a gamble. It determines your marriage life, your future sex life, how you handle your future relationship status, and nobody is obligated to you. They are free to sleep with other people however way they choose and there is no law to protect you if something happens. No law. Marriage have laws to protect you. It is not a win-win for women exspecially. It is a loss. That is what marriage is for. To balance those interest.
It doesn't matter if it's a ONS, friends with benefits, or dating relationship if you're not married, and you have sex, you're screwed. A girl can easily sleep with other men, get pregnant and still claim it's your baby when the chances are either 50/50 or less with each partner. She takes on the same genetic code as each sex partner! Forget about the 10s and hundreds of STDs and superSTDs. The people I know worked in places where they deal with people who done just that and got infected. Because of the very things you endorse. Apparently, you haven't got all the sex ed you needed. Because you claim you have, and yet none of that is factual. That's the rules you made.
“That is not true. No matter if he masturbated, whatched prorn or had sex with another girls. If you are not sexually compatible you won't be. That is part of a person. Simple as that. Sex is not how you think it is. You libidos don't match out of love. The first time he asks you for sex and you don't feel like it remember this conversation. Because that will happen!” Again, loads of BS. Sex is very much how i think, it’s just you people love toe make it more complicated than it needs to be because you adapt from other people except learning of yourself, especially when married. Sexual compatibility is as I said. The rest your saying is excuses to continue to live the lifestyle you want to live without accountability or responsibility. And yes, libidos can match as long as your a virgin, didn’t masturbate, etc. I know. Mines never changed and I’m sexually healthy besides physically healthy according to doctors. And firstly, when you get married you don’t sexually neglect your spouse. EVER. Unless it is a mutual agreement I have the right to have sex with my husband whenever, and vice versa. That’s why you don’t just get married to somebody. Or just have sex with people. If he was dabbling porn, no way in hell would he touch me. EVER. That would be an insult to me as if I am not enough. He will have his hand. That’s why you don’t sexually pollute yourself with that filth. But you people do, ask for far more than a persons means, want to experiment and such and want to know why the other doesn’t want to be touched? How you treat your partner sexually will determine if you will make them have an interest in sex or not. From how you sound, you sound like a player who treated your past partners like, excuse my french, like s***. Tell me I'm wrong. Because you sound like an emotional abuser who charms women and then gaslight them.
They ignore it. No matter who you want to call it, they do. You do. Or are you going to tell me you never looked at a guy and in your head you were like "Hum he is cute/hot". That first of all is lusting. And I only done so once when I was a child under 10. I now learn on my own it was wrong. I asked God for forgiveness. And NEVER done it sense. It’s wrong. “Raping is a crime done against the other person will. People can hold their sexual drive. Doesn't mean they should. They don't have a real good reason for it.” So if people can control their sexual drive how is it that you say one minute people can have sex and have no connection, yet say raping is a crime done against the other persons will? Having sex before marriage, and then leaving somebody with nothing is also a crime to God. It is a crime to others. “No, you don't have control. You have fear. Fear that for some stupid reason you will lose the ability to connect with another. Which is just false.” FALSE! Getting pregnant by the wrong man, sure. Getting a serious STD sure. Having sex with the wrong person, sure. But I don’t fear sex. Because God didn’t create sex to be how dirty you people make it. I would have been married at legal age had I found the right person and have the right reasons to do so. I had no logical reasons to be having sex, dating, etc. So I left it alone, along with the jerks who were like you, screwed around then have the nerve to ask me ‘Are you still single/a virgin?’ When it was none of their business. They made their choices. As you did yours. I am not sleeping with manwhores.
“Your devotion to God also tells me a few things about you. Let me ask, when did God talked to you? Never right?”God spoke to me since I was a teen. He used my intuition to warn me about me, and gave me insight both physically and spiritually about people. He also told me a lot about YOU. How your stubbornness, and lack of real compassion moved you to lustful means. That’s why you refuse to hear from others because you already feel convicted. And how you don’t like what I said, that’s why you take it personally. To ignore you with your antics. “He did it from other people. Don't you think it's fun that when religious fanatics many years ago said that sex is a sin, because they were told so by God. And we are supposed to believe? Based on what?” God never said sex is a sin. He said fornication [premairtal sex] and adultery [sex with other people but your spouse] is a sin. Sex is not a sin. Don’t know where you learned that from, but it says that you don’t even read the Bible because you would have known that. Also, God didn’t have to speak through other people to me because I hear God loud and clear no different than you talking. My relationship with him is solid as a rock. It's the same God you disrespect so much that kept me away from trouble and evil men who thought they can use me and acted like you. That doesn't make me fearful. That makes me smarter. And being smart to self preserve myself whether I chose to marry or not. Because if really was what you claim it is, I would have been married with kids by now. That didn't happen, because they wanted to fool around. I live a happier life because I kept myself. As the word says, being single is hard, but being married [sex included] is harder. I rather reap good benefits than bad seeds. But thanks for solidifying my choices even firmly due to your lifestyle choices and sex life. Tells me that I made the right decision. Have a good day/evening.
Oh trust me my sex life is better than yours ever will be. Of that I am 100% sure.
You word was written by some senile old men hundreds of years ago...
No they don't! Omg are good serious? Do you really think that people have a limited amount of connections they can make over their life? Based on what? It makes no sense. That is not how things work.
They liked the sex? Yes. Their relationship ended? Yes. By reasons related to sex? No. So is there any good reason to blame sex? No.
See how simple it is?
Trust me sex was never a detrimental part of my relationships or my life. It was simply part of it. Just like cuddling and hugging was.
I had both types you know? I had simply sex for pleasure and I had sex out of love. My first time was out of love. And I am here telling you, both can be very VERY good. But also both can be very VERY bad! No matter how much you love a person, sex can be bad. Trust me you will feel that.
Yes I do call those good memories. Why not? Because it ended? If I go on a nice vacation the fact that it needed doesn't mean good memories don't stay.
Don't worry I don't think about past partners when I am with my current partner and the same is true for my wife. Why would we? Even if she is a woman she does not thinks about past partners when she is with me. Most women don't. They just live the moment.
Why would a person who remembers the good times she had with a past partners be more likely to cheat? Again it's just good memories. Nothing more.
Women who have no good memories just mean they let life escape and they did not really lived. Again out of fear.
I don't know if that has transpired already but I feel sorry for you. That prude mindset can make you happy in the end, but you are playing Russian Roulette. I really hope you are lucky.
Actually I had a great childhood. And again with that nonsense that "because I had sex before marriage I must be broken or have issues." Not at all. Having sex never took away my ability to connect with girls and not virgin girls never showed any problem with that either.
Sex feels good. So people do it for pleasure. That doesn't take away who you are. On the other hand to actually be terrified of it all your life... On the case of the people you talked to they got hurt so they have a hard time starting a new relationship. They blame sex when the problem lies with themselves. If this is not a broken person I don't know what it is.
No it is not a gamble. Do you know how stupid that sounds. By your logic if I have sex with a person I love we will ruin ourselves, but if we marry the next day and then have sex then everything will be fine... Do you know how stupid this sounds?
No you are not. I did it and I didn't got screwed. I only got good memories and fun times out of it.
Yes I know that's how it works. I have sex before unlike you. I met girls who enjoyed sex and didn't blame it for their own failures. Some of them really accomplished and we'll put girls. You just judge them to be broken people.
Well don't worry we think the same of you.
No, libidos don't match at all. Not how it works and you will feel that. I am 100% sure.
You are wrong. I always treated them well. I never abused any girl in my life.
What does one thing has to do with the other?
Just because I want sex and can keep feelings out of it does not mean I want to be forced to have it. Very different.
You have to understand that pleasure and feelings don't have to go hand to hand. Be able to do so just means you are in control of your feelings. Not the other way around.
In your case you are broken due to your death mother, you promiscuous father and you blind devotion to God. And you blame sex for your issues. You are the broken one.
You think God has spoken to you? Ok you are out of your mind...
Well from the perspective of someone that's extremely tall I feel like most guys prefer short women.
In my country men definetely prefer tall/extremely tall women
its quite common for men to reject short girls here. tall girls are adored.
Sweden
guys are mad for tall girls here. even taller than themselves
short or average girls are not liked that much
wow that's really tall lol I'm around 6'2.5 and I'm considered pretty tall among guys
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They say it because its true from both genders perspectives in most cultures so far as i am aware.
Tall leggy women are traditionally / historically prized as fashion models because there is an idea in that world for whatever reason that they display the clothes the best, it is nothing what so ever to do with sexuality or attraction.
My understanding is that tall women are favoured in Sweden but even there the preference is that the male is taller.
The reason you dont believe this obvious truth is because you have a poor self image and are seeking to blame something other than your own actions because you didn't get what you wanted, well news flash: you dont always win even when you play a perfect game because the world and certainly dating just doesn't work like that.
"My understanding is that tall women are favoured in Sweden but even there the preference is that the male is taller."
I can say it is complicated here. Women prefer taller than themselves and men prefer women who are taller than average woman.
because they do. being "leggy" has not much to do with "being tall". it's a matter of "proportion".
also this seems to be a thing that you talk yourself down with, which inadvertently reduces your success with men. so if you don't tell yourself that it's "that thing" that prevents men from being interested in you, you'll see your success with men get better.
I like mine even shorter than 5'2" honestly. 5', 5'1', even 4"9", yes please! But in general, especially compared to women, we care so much less about height than you women do. It's a preference for most of us, not a deal breaker as for some women. And guys go both ways, another thing very different from most women lol, some do like tall yes, but lots of us like short. And a good chunk of men out there could care less about your height. When it comes down to it, it really is unimportant.
Well dating a short woman has its perks too. While in high school I dated a girl who was 5'3 and I was 6'3 and I just found her adorable. I could place my head on top of hers while hugging her. Easily lift her up while hugging etc.. It just goes by personal preference. Yeah leaning down like a foot to kiss sucked but was still cute to see her get on her toes to try to make it easier. I would date a short girl again.
my preference is shorter than myself, i'm 5'9" and the shorter the better but if i clicked with a woman on a personal level and got along with them then it wouldn't matter tbh
a girls height & weight are not much of an issue for me. if she is 100% natural and otherwise generally healthy. while liking how she looks with a personality I enjoy.
Men prefer average women around 5'5" actually
I historically prefer short women. out of the 4 girlfriends I have had, all were 5'3" or shorter haha.
out of the women I have dated though most were around 5'6"
Data does indeed show short women are approached more in North America but it’s pretty mild difference.
Because majority of the men end up dating women shorter than them. Majority of the women prefer tall guys...
Short and leggy is cute too. I like short girls just as much as tall ones. Men I want to be taller than me tho
Maybe they like both and like people based on their appearance/personality like everyone else
Most guys probably do though. Personally I don't. Ideally a woman is only slightly shorter than me, same height or slightly taller than me is fine too. I just really don't like midgets or giants.
In reality most woman who is tall doesn’t have the skinny leg you all talking about, that maybe another reason why guys like short girls, I personally like short girls
Who told you that nonsense?
Height has little to do in the long run
I have no preference for height; and I don't spend a lot of time focusing on a woman's legs.
They zont understand that each individual isn't like that. Maybe most.
It really depends. Your a little shorter than my prefered height but I'd take a 5'2 girl over a 6ft plus girl
Due to the fact the average height of women generally is around 5'2 - 5'4.
Short women can be cuter than tall women.
But that's a secret.
Don't tell tall women that. They kick.
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