Is that okay ?

Okay so this guy hangs out with me once at starbucks

and then he asks me out for lunch of course he pays

and then he's asking me the next day again for lunch, should he be paying or should I offer to pay or how does it work? I have never been on an actual date.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, I have a rule that I try to live by: If I ask her out, I pay. If she asks me out, or offers to pay, she pays. Mind you I'm 39, so the dating game mindset is a little different at my age. But I think this is a good rule of thumb.

    I guess the biggest concern here is that some guys feel that when they buy, you owe them something in return. But, on the flip side, if a guy wants to hang with you and asking you to lunch is an easy and safe way to do it. He may not expect anything in return other than your time. The nice thing about lunch is that it removes that feeling of evening intimacy and pressures of sex in return for money spent.

    If after the second lunch you think you'd like to go out with him again, and you get the feeling he'd like to see you again too, you could lean over to him, kiss him on the cheek or lips and then say, "Next time, I buy." The kiss and the offer will show him you like and appreciate him.

    Another thing to keep in mind is that you two can do things that cost a lot less or last a lot longer than lunch for less money. Depending on where you live (I'm in Florida), you could go canoeing / kayaking, or bundle up and go for a bike ride a large park. Maybe have fall day picnic. Activities are a great way to spend time together and it may alleviate any pressures of how much money is being spent as they can cost a lot less to do.

    Next lunch, talk about other stuff you 2 could do together. Maybe he'll get the hint, or you could be so forward as to say, "I really enjoy having lunch with you. What you think about doing.(insert your interests here)."

    Good luck

    • Wow that was informative and extremely helpful

      thanks a bunch =)

    • Then mark as best answer, please! :) LOL

    • Done =)))

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • The unsaid rule is that the person who does the asking is the person who pays unless agreed otherwise beforehand. To guard yourself against an possible expectation of you paying, bring some money.


What Girls Said 1

  • Personally I don't believe in having the guy pay every time. I believe in alternating who pays OR paying my share.