1 mo

How do I help my boyfriend feel more comfortable?

I just learned that my boyfriend is scared of getting hurt in our relationship, but it makes sense.

For some background: my boyfriend and I (before we were dating) were friends for a couple years, then we confessed our feelings and ended up talking for like 6 months- and he even told his family about me... but he never made a move, and sometimes he was so silent- that I wondered if he actually wanted me. (I wasn’t waiting for him though... I had a busy life) so I was surprised when he told me he wanted to be in an official relationship with me.

He was in one relationship, 2 years before me, where his ex broke up with him... I don’t know all the details but I know he was really hurt and sad.

I understand that what he went through was painful, but the thing is he’s bringing it into our relationship (the fear) and basically he just doesn’t share his feelings that well and sometimes is just distant. I can kind of tell although he wants to get involved that he still is on the outskirts and hasn’t decided I’m a safe person yet.

How can I make him feel more comfortable and safe? I have tried being as open and honest as I can, and I always tell him what I like about him and that I miss him and stuff... what else can I do?
How do I help my boyfriend feel more comfortable?
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