1 mo

Is it possible that I am a lesbian even though i've loved men?

I am now 24 and I still have no desire to have sex with a man (i'm a virgin). I have questioned asexuality but I experience sexual attraction. I desire relationships with men which could also be due to the fact I am most used to men though. I only have male friends, I have social anxiety so the friends I have are the few guys from dating apps who could agree to be just friends. I don't go out and make friends like other people do but i've gone on many dates to practice social skills.
I have 2 exes, one being my first love and he is the only man i've ever enjoyed making out with. The first time my ex kissed me it just felt meh and it did everytime. We ended up deciding to be just friends. I loved him so much but I didn't enjoy intimacy beyond holding hands and hugging. The men i've had feelings for the last few years i've wanted a relationship with, but as soon as they've kissed me i've felt "when is this over" or just cringed. In my thoughts I enjoy it but not in real life. Even my mom have guessed that I am lesbian because she knows how I am about men and that relationships with men are tricky for me since I won't really treat them as more than friends. And my ex used to call me gay sometimes after we had stopped dating but I would just laugh it off, of course even back then I questioned it myself. While I was still dating him I realized I had a crush on a woman who worked at a place I was intern at. I've been questioning for around 4-5 years. I've kept dating men because it's easier, women who want to date women are really hard to find especially when you're like me a loner who don't go places.
Is it possible that I am a lesbian even though i've loved men?
Add Opinion