Jesus, reading you other comments it's clear you care about nobody beyon dyourself. You're not fit to be a mother yet if you're happy with them having divorced or unhappy parents, let alone be a partner. Every smart man will avoid you like the plague until you grow up, hoping you eventually do. It's not looking too promising though if you're still thinking like this at 25.
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No I have decided to settle.
People settle more than yu think
Doesn’t make it right. One that settles is never truly happy. It’s just a sign of desperation
I am desperate. It’s been a hopeless search for years. settling is better than having no one
You’re only 25. Guys aren’t ready to settle down till mid thirties so my advice is date older
I'm willing to date early 30s.
No not old enough
I know it's a little early for me to settle at 25. But I'm pretty sure I won't find the right oNE within the next 5-8 years. If I do somehow find the one while I'm married, I'll just take a divorce. If I don't , I'll still have a man by my side
If I date a early 30s guy for a few years, he will hit mid 30s when we Marry.
You’re not dating you’re just fucking. You don’t love him
Well I’m most likely not gonna find my one true love in my life anyways
Yes you will
He doesn’t love you eithet
People wouldn't marry someone who they don't love. But I can make him believe that I love him.
He's well educated successful , makes good money. I can live on him if I ever lose my job.
Not forever without love. Take my advice from one that also settled. Kids will only complicate things not improve anything. I’m telling you don’t fuck up like I did. I have nothing to gain by giving you this advice
I don't mind divorcing after kids are grown. I just want someone steady to help me out with finances and a stable family structure to raise kids
It won’t last and everyone will be miserable including the kids. It will be a dysfunctional family. Again been there done that
@reptocarl2 don't put that in her head that she needs a 35 yo man. That's way too old for a 25 year old girl. Men settle down at all ages. They settle once they fall in love. Age just needs to change her circle and maybe location
@Rebeccalions my main point is don’t settle
Definitely don't settle! I did that when I was younger and I regretted it! Settling is the same as being alone bc you're not really into that person
@Rebeccalions I do understand why you guys would say that a marriage with no romance might be miserable. But I think you also gotta acknowledge that it gets increasingly impossible to find love the further you age into your 50s. By then it becomes more a hopeful dream rather than a reality. There might be a chance of finding love up to 45 but after that, there is little to no chance of that happening after that age. I grew up with very secure family. I feel safe with the knowledge that If anything ever happens to me, I have a husband who would look after me. If I die, my kids would still have a father to care for them. If I were to live all alone into old age, I would just be lonely , not sure if anyone has my back. Raising kids definitely would also be easier being married. If I somehow lose my income, At least I still have my husbands income. If I were to be sick in bed with a disease, he can cook and feed me. I’ve always dreamt of having a secure happy family where we all looked out for one another. I’ve always dreamt of having huge family parties for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners. It makes me feel wanted , connected to a community who cares for me.
That isn’t true. I know it seems that way to you at such a young age but the reality is that isn’t true
People get married as they get older so your dating pool shrinks immensely as you approach 40. Many single folks in late 40s-50s are divorced and no longer looking for love. Some are too busy to date , as single parents , working FT jobs while caring for their kids. From what I’ve seen, dating just gets increasingly bleak as you age. It’s quite difficult to find a 49 yr old that’s still dating. Of course you’re also not getting any better looking with age. Younger folks tend to also be reluctant to take on a much older partner
Again that isn’t true. Most of us by that age have already done the settling thing and have divorced for being miserable and are now more open than ever to find a true love. We’ve learned to lower our expectations and that EVERYONE has something to love about. We’ve learned that expectations, age, money, status only interferes with us finding THE ONE
Ok I agree with ur last statement that money or status or looks tends to interfere with finding the one. But I doubt there's a big enough dating pool for folks in their late 40s-50 to be worth my time. I know of many folks that age who simply aren't interested in looking for love after getting divorced. And charismatic funny guys usually tend to not be single until so Late in life unless they have some major character flaw
Quite honestly I know a ton of single bachelor's in their mid to late 30s who have completly no dating action. I can't imagine how hard it would be for folks in their 40s
Speak for yourself. I’m open to anyone of any race or age including you
I told you most guys aren’t seriously looking till mid thirties but some are more closer to forty
If you want a guy now then you need to drop your expectations and date older. Much older
I’ve been on this site a long time. This is my second account and I was a Master and in the top three of xper. I’ve seen many under 30 women’s questions wanting to know why guys won’t date single mothers. What’s happened is all these other young women before you got impatient just like you and settled having kids thinking it’ll make things at least tolerable. Well it doesn’t and after the divorce it makes finding THE ONE even harder than if she would have just waited.
There are guys your age that are for you and can truly love you and you them but your expectations are too high for you to allow it
Divorce rates aren’t so high because young women are settling down too early. It’s because when a marriage is based off of passion, it won’t last. There is a reason why arranged marriages almost never result in divorce. Because they aren’t basing their marriage on romance. They base it on compatibility and working things through. Stick together no matter what. So far in real life , I have never ever met a 49-65 yr old that is still dating. I’ve seen a 43 yr old date tho. I don’t believe that the dating pool would be large enough to be worth my while. When the dating pool is super tiny, there’s even a higher chance I won’t find the one
The type of guy I’m attracted to is a funny hilarious dude, life of the party Type. I don’t think such a guy would remain single until his late 40s-50s. These types attract a lot of women.
Ok keep believing that. There’s guys your age that are that but you’re too blind to see it. You’re too blinded by looks, occupation, income, race etc to see it. Your expectations are too high. The older you get the lower your expectations and you learn what’s really important in a person
So let me ask you. What if I was your perfect compatible mate knowing what little you know about me. Are you open or are you immediately closed due to my age etc? This is what I’m telling you about expectations. Love can hit you anywhere at anytime and it can be from the most unlikely of places
Here’s the thing about older folks, you guys are too judgmental. You need to stop assuming that all young people are this or when I was your age I was that so I will assume that you will be that too No. I’m not like that. To be 24 nearing 25 and have never ever been in a relationship , I’m already too desperate to be picky. Why do you think I’m considering settling? Do u think I’m happy to marry someone I have no romantic feelings for? Sure I can marry someone with money who I don’t have romantic feelings for , but that really isn’t my first choice. I have went on so many dates which just ended up turning out into a waste of time. 90 percent of these were online dates. so far in my life I have only met 2 people who were what I was looking for. One was an unattractive old married man about 49-50 years old. The other was somewhat crazy editor who had another girl crushing on him the same table as I was sitting at. They ended up having more in common so they hit it off. Like I said the Type of guy I’m looking for , is able to attract a lot of women and attention. He’s not likely gonna be single at 47 unless he has some major character flaw. Online dating has not worked out for me. I met these guys in real life, but honestly I am SCARRED by the number of failed dates I’ve been on. I have lost my sense of hope already,Don’t tell me I need to go on 5 dates with a guy to see if there is chemistry. Usually I can tell by the first date If he has any humor. Humor should never be forced. If I have to wait till the 3rd date to see any glimmer of humor, it is forced.
And to answer your question It would be very dumb and unintelligent of me to date someone like you, because there’s a 34 yr age difference. By the time I’m 34 , you will be 68. Do u think I’ll still be married to u by then? Age does matter.
You already limited yourself. You just said the guy you’re looking for is able to attract a lot of attention and a lot of women. He’s not likely gonna be single at 47 unless he has some major character flaw. There you go. Your expectations are too high
Old people are the same way when it comes to dating. Everyone is always gonna be chasing more physically attractive people. I have seen enough 46 yr olds guys in here begging for a 20 yr old girls attention.
Yea well I don’t have the power to control what I’m attracted to , dude. If I was born to like funny hilarious men, then I’m stuck with that. Different people like different things. Everyone likes funny people. It’s hard for funny guys to be single
Ok keep limiting yourself. Why do you think there’s such a famous saying as “it’s better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all.” It also means loving someone older, outside your race, religion etc but you’re too narrow minded and have expectations too high to ever find true love
You’re not after love. You’re after appearances
Like I said I can’t help but like funny guys. I will take a short guy if he has the right personality for me. i wouldn’t mind if a guy isn’t rich cuz I am financially stable and educated. I wouldn’t mind if he isn’t the most handsome dude on earth but there has to be some sort of physical attraction for it to work out. Physical attraction is part of the mating process. But I can’t control how I’m only attracted to humor. Your blaming me of liking funny guys is not gonna change the fact that I am only attracted to funny guys. It’s not gonna change I factor in age because I want someone to spend the rest of my life with. Understand that if we have 20 years apart , it’s only a matter of time that we divorce or break up. It’s a hard matter for older folks to accept but it’s simply the truth.
I think it’s time for you to really read what I’m writing because you don’t seem to be completely understanding my perspective
No I do you’re not reading or comprehending mine
Now that you understand my standpoint, try to offer some advice that would actually benefit me , instead of just criticizing that I like funny guys.
Not criticizing just stating you’re limiting yourself because of age, race, religion, politics, education, looks, etc
What if I’m everything you want but you stop because of my age?
I am not limiting myself to education , looks, status. I have no options at this point. If I limit myself further , I would seriously end up with nobody. When you have no options, you cannot afford to put a limit on anything But age is one thing that I do have a limit on. As I cannot imagine a forever marriage with a man who is 30 years older. Sure I can have a 10 yr dating relationship but not a marriage with someone so much older. Do u really think a marriage between a 34 yr old and a 68 yr old would be a happy one? I doubt it
If that’s the case then you’re not open to true love. You’re only open to love on your terms. Love doesn’t work that way
I’m looking for not only love but also a life partner who I can raise kids and grow old with. I can’t possibly spend the rest of my life with a man who is nearing the grave.
I also don’t tend to be physically attracted to much older men. I tried going on a date with a 45 yr old. I was just terrified of his touch. Sorry but that’s just me. I have no control over it
It’s better to have love and lost than to have never loved at all. Even if you only had 5 years of true love it’s better to have never had it at all. At least you’ve experienced what it feels like so you can educate others like your kids. Do you know how many settle and never experience it? It’s sad
There are also many unmarried older men out there who really want children but couldn’t have any simply because they couldn’t find love. I don’t believe that we need to find love in order to have children or a family. Why lose both in life? If you can’t find romance , just have a family. I’m pretty sure after the age of 45, my chances of finding the one would be slim to absolutely none. Im gonna have a family regardless. By that age , I probably would be too busy working FT and raising kids with their father than to be freely going out to bars to find a man. This is just the reality of things. And by that age, I probably wouldn’t look the best so forget about attracting anyone.
If I want to still find my type of man by 49, I’ll probably have to be a famous celebrity or a chairwoman or CEO of a huge organization in order to find him. I’ll need myself advertised on every corner of the media to find someone at that age.
I’m here ready to have children with you. I’m not the only one
😂 if I were to have kids with a random guy, I prefer him to be 40 and under as I’ll be having kids in my late 30s. I expect him to be extremely financially stable, have good genetic health and high academic IQ. Must also be kind and easy to get along with.
That would be me but once again your expectations are preventing you from that
I am allowed to have expectations because it’s much easier to find a man like that than a hilarious funny man. I live in one of richest places in the US. I can easily find a successful highly educated man here. No problem.
Ok then why are you on here complaining and asking questions if you have all the answers
I don’t have all the answers. This question was how to lie to someone that I like them.
You’re nuts. So lying is the way for a loving relationship?
Do u know what life is like without affection? Do u think I don’t miss the times when a man kisses my hand so previously? U think I don’t miss making out passionately? How about the shitty feeling seeing everyone else dating while you’re the only one who is chronically single? I already stick out like a sore loser
The guy who I’m doing this friends with benefits with is an Analyst at an investment bank. He’s a real boring tech nerd. I am the one with charisma and humor. I know he enjoys being with me. Having a man gives me a sense of security about my future. If I ever lose my income, I’ll have someone to rely on. My kids will have a daddy.
Yeah I know all those feelings. Believe me. I crave to be skin on skin with a naked woman and us in an embrace looking in each others eyes. Caressing each other and telling each other how much we love and need the other. I know the feeling. Give me a chance
Ok since you have all the answers then why did you ask?
Have u ever done it when u were young? As u age, u have less chance of doing that. Cus ur less physically attractive. Like I said , it’s best to date while young
Oh I don’t know. I met a 28 year old virgin on this very site. We lived in neighboring states. We had a very serious four year relationship
I’ve thought about hiring a matchmaker which cost anywhere from 15k-30k to help me find the right man. But I’ve heard many people were unhappy with their services. It’s expensive and there’s gossip that they simply don’t have enough dudes in their database. Some say that none of these folks who use match makers are datable since they need to spend 15k on finding someone
Well she probably has an old man fetish. I don’t. So sorry.
You don’t have to do that. What if I’m THE ONE? Are you gonna instantly turn your nose up because of my age?
No she didn’t. She was just open minded and didn’t judge
I don’t care if you’re the one. Because I still have so many years ahead of me to find love. I wouldn’t be attracted to you either. There’s little to no chance we would have anything in common either. Whenever someone in their 20s say they love someone in their 50s, they just like fathers or the daddy Type of guy. It’s not that they like the older party as a person. The emotional connection simply can’t be strong or deep enough. I know this from experience.
So what you’re saying is because of our age difference us falling in love isn’t possible? Are you that closed minded?
From my experience, 95% of couple age difference of 15 years or over tend to be more about physical stuff and sex than real emotional connection / love.
Any girl in her 20s who tells you that she loves a man in his 50s, is really saying she is in love with the fatherly type of guy or she is in love of the fatherly feeling you offer her. She adores your fatherliness, not you. There is no way in hell That a 20 something yr old can have anything in common with a 50 yr old. I may be young but I am not naive.
Ok again. You have all the answers so why are you on here asking? Do what you want. It won’t affect me at all but your decisions damn sure will you haha
The only reason why you would chase a girl in her 20s is not because you have such an amazing emotional connection with her. It’s because you are simply after youth and looks. Trust me you would have a much more fun of a conversation with someone closer to your age.
I know. I’m 24 but I ain’t naive. As you can see, I have been around the block.
No you are young inexperienced unwise and have expectations too high. I’m not chasing. I’m just saying what if. My ex that I met on here was very natural. All she did was post a question and I answered and it went from there. She wasn’t looking, I certainly wasn’t looking as this isn’t a dating site plus her age but our relationship developed nonetheless
Hun you’re simply an immature old man who didn’t make it in life so now you’re telling everyone they shouldn't have any standards in life. You know what I’ve said is true. I’m sure you’re old enough to know that, and You actually weren’t any help at all other than to tell me to not settle, which is understandable but it’s something I prefer to do due to my unique priorities. I’m not interested in arguing with your immaturity. I’m more interested in having a productive conversation.
Again if you have all the answers then why are you asking on here and why are you still talking to me
@nelly83 okay I figured out the reasons why you are having a hard time 1. You are doing online dating. Barely anyone has luck on there and they have the same complaints as you2. You want a man who is the life of the party. Ironically, these men are single in their 50s because they spent their youth playing women and using them up like toilet paper. You can find an outgoing guy who doesn't party much 3. Your location has a lot to do w it. If you're from one of the richest places, there will be less people looking for a relationship 4. Do not settle thinking 40 is too old. My sister net her dream man at 40 and he's 30 and hot. She didn't worry about her age, she refused to settle and got what she wanted.Also, I agree w you on not dating too much older. Men die younger than women and you don't want to be a 50 yo widow
@Rebeccalions your comment is extremely accurate. I live in NYC where dating is terrible here. It's not a good city to have a serious relationship or to raise a family. Just a whole city of highly successful something yr old single who like to chase money. I know I should go get a social life. It be easier to find the right guy in real life
@nelly83 you need to leave nyc! I used to live there, the men are total pigs. I was once in a restaurant near Wall Street and a finance guy asked me what makes me think I even have a chance with a manhattan man when there the city is filled with never ended supply of women? Then he told me I had 5 minutes to get a hotel room and fuck him or I would never have the chance again.I let the asshole count to 5 minutes, then I laughed at himThis is a typical nyc boy. Get the fuck out of there before they drive you to suicide
@Rebeccalions I agree people here are so rude and unfriendly. Making friends here is impossible too. Which state did u move to? Is dating and making friends a lot easier there? I’m gonna be moving in 2022, just not sure where. I’m considering Texas, Arizona, Nevada , CA.
Yeah, much easier in the west. I'm in Colorado, nevada is fine if you avoid vegas. Arizona and CA are good too
U know I rejected a 35 yr old guy for friends with benefits cuz he looked too old
What does that prove?
Sorry I don't like guys with old skin, balding, weight gain.
Eventually you will be begging for man like the one you describe. You will need a man to pay for all of your mistakes.
Haha why would I be begging? I'm happy with two kids at 40. You're gonna be begging for a fat ugly woman in her 30s cuz she's you're last hope of having kids. Old men without options can't chose to be picky.
I already have kids.
I'm talking about the rest of the unmarried childless 40 yr old guys suffering
They are not "suffering", they are living their lives how they want.
Most men want kids. It’s not normal to not want kids I’m sure you’re not living the life you want either as a bitter old man spreading your hate on a daily basis on here
"Most men want kids, it's not normal to want kids"... wow, when a man says this about women, females like you jump all over their shit. And again, you could not be more wrong about men. All of your comments show a complete lack of understanding of men.
well you can’t understand women either. none of the shit you spew makes any sense either