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Can 'chemistry' ever be developed? Or am I doomed?

I seem to be having serious problems with this so-called 'chemistry'.

I don't have problems finding women to date, but at this point, I want to find someone long term, get married ans settle down.

But it almost always doesn't last, because the women say we just don't have 'chemisty'. I just don't get it. They agree that I am definitely good enough on paper, reasonably attractive physically, and am doing everything right for a relationship, but they just can't 'feel' it with me.

This has happened on several occasions now.

Can someone be good relationship material, but just not have chemistry? Is it instantaneous (like you start dating someone and you immediately know you have chemistry with them or not ) , or can chemistry be developed over time? Can sincere efforts create chemistry, or is it just like winning a lottery, purely dependent on luck?

Sorry if this feels like a rant, but i just want to know what this is all about. Does one need to be a certain way to be able to to invoke this 'chemisty'?
Can 'chemistry' ever be developed? Or am I doomed?
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