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I’m 25, straight, but afraid of men whenever it’s more than just friends, what’s wrong with me?

Anonymous
I’ve had one serious relationship and it was a disaster. When I was 23-24, and we were very intimate and I didn’t have issues then? But the relationship turned abusive and I eventually cut all ties. Now I’m trying to date again, and what’s really upsetting me is that I’m attracted to men and flirt no problem, but when the thought of it becoming more or even thinking of being alone with a guy just honestly freaks me out entirely. It’s a mixture of embarrassment/disgust/fear. I don’t know why and I have a one on one date tomorrow and we will probably go back to his place to hang after and im honestly terrified. I feel 17 all over again, the first time I went over to a guy’s room and had my first kiss. I’m 25, I don’t get why the thought of this is making me want to just run for the hills. I’m scared that on my date I’ll royally mess up and act awkward or unattracted to him because of this. Ugh help?
I’m 25, straight, but afraid of men whenever it’s more than just friends, what’s wrong with me?
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