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How can an ugly and mentally ill girl find a boyfriend?

so let's start from the beggining. I was always bullied and made fun of for being different because I have autism, and because I'm ugly.
I never had a guy interested in me. and if I did they just used me for sexting or just lead me on or just pretended to like me to make fun of me , or just wanted to use me for sex[which I didn't do, cuz i'm waiting for the right guy]
. I'm 21 and I never even kissed a guy. guys weren't ever attracted to me. and when I met guys that weren't mean to me, they just said they like me as a friend/sister.
I always got called names and got called ugly pretty much my whole life. even by girls, plus I'm a bit chubby but I workout 5 times a week and watch what I eat.
I always go outside put together[washed hair, a bit of makeup, nice outfits]and I always put effort into my appearance.
I'm kind and a nice person too but when someone seems just a bit interested in me I always get clingy and annoying cuz in my head I think ''finally I'm gonna have a boyfriend'' and then I scare them off. sigh
It's just I was just born unnatractive and having a mental illness doesn't help me at all in the dating world. I must of been rejected by like 16+ guys maybe more
I wanna experience love too...
I don't know what to do
I never experienced a guy liking me back or someone genuinely loving me
any kind of advice is appreciated
[also sorry for typos English is my second language]
How can an ugly and mentally ill girl find a boyfriend?
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