How do I undo my conditioned anxiety?

Anonymous
I've developed anxiety from all the guys I've liked, my family, my friends.. I don't know how to undo it. Therapy doesn't help. It's just deeply rooted in me that because my skin isn't flawless, my ambitions aren't high enough, my brain not smart enough, my body not sexy... that I can never be worthy for others. Like I KNOW that it shouldn't be that way. I KNOW people who love you accept your flaws. But deep down a part of me just doesn't listen.

Growing up the people I love have told me directly and indirectly:
1. I'd date you if you weren't chubby (I'm 152 cm, 53 kg)
2. Her face creeps me out, the pores are too big (I have big pores and acne scars)
3. Ew what's that.. why is your skin disgusting (my back acne)
4. You smell really bad (the sulfur medicine I had to use in HS, I decided to only use it at night instead of what the doc recommended because I kept getting these comments)
5. Have you seen her underarm? Yuck
6. I'm not into dependent women (My job doesn't give me a high salary)
7. You have NO goals in life? What are you doing with your life? (I don't have a dream goal like a doctor or what, I just live)

And I could list it on and on repeatedly 20 years of stuff like that. I tried to date believe me. I have matched with some on different apps. I chat with them but whenever I think to get serious I just think why bother when they'll find someone who doesn't have my flaws? Because yes somebody I love has done it to me. That one time my anxiety didn't trigger... when I thought oh this is it I found someone who vibes out trustworthiness... ghosted me for another woman who was smarter, thinner, and prettier. And I was just devastated. My already fragile confidence just turned to ashes.

And I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Why am I even trying. How do I help myself?
How do I undo my conditioned anxiety?
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