Why would a guy keep hooking up with you when he knows it won't lead into dating?

So, I've had this on and off hooking up relationship with a guy for 2 years. At, first we just hooked up because we both had been broken up with. But, then I started liking him that's when trouble started. My friends back then didn't like that we had liked each other because he dated one my friends and I dated one of his friends. And, we knew it wouldn't be the best for us to date because he still weren't over our ex's and my friends didn't agree with us liking each other in the first place. Then eventually, he did start seeing a girl whom he didn't tell me about, I was OK that he was seeing other girls. The only thing was he had to do was tell so that I could walk away especially because I thought that she was now his girlfriend. So, I got really mad that he didn't tell he was dating another girl and I found out from other people, and didn't talk to him for a few months. And, he did end up dating this girl, and he tried to talk me but I wouldn't. Then, this girl and he went on a break because she was studying abroad. That’s when I saw him at a party and he came up and talked to me about everything. And, said that he didn’t tell me about her because they weren’t dating and it wasn’t serious at the time and he didn’t know how to tell me. But, we ended up hook up after that. Then he got back together with his girlfriend but they were having trouble and were on a break and he wanted to hang out with me again. So, I did but he was so confused about whom he liked me or her and I told him I wanted him to commit to me. But he was so confused that I eventually left and was really hurt by the whole thing. He and this girl finally broke up and of course I got mad at him and didn’t talk to him for awhile and dated another guy. He eventually talked to me again and I was single ended things with the other guy. We just started talking again and eventually hooked up again. But, the problem is now that I’ve gotten older my parents have made it clear to me that I can only date Indian guys because I’m Indian. But, he’s white and this very smart, not well put together, guy who parties a lot. After being hurt by him once, I don’t know if I could risk being hurt by him again. I think he still needs to grow up until he could be in any serious relationship. And, I don’t know that I could tell my parents about him if we got serious because he’s not the model boyfriend. And, I’ve gotten bad at him for hurting him and haven’t always been that nice…but I’ve said sorry. I just don’t understand why he puts up with me? He accused me of using him once …and I told him I wasn’t. And, when I told he need to take care of himself…he said I was too pretty for him. Should I tell him that he shouldn’t be expecting anything from me? I just don’t know how he feels or what he wants? Should I assume he’s OK with just hooking up with me?

FYI: ( By hooking up I mean messing around...I never had sex with him)


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  • First of all, you two started hooking up in the beginning because you were FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS. Good sex with no strings or emotions attached. That's all. But you kind of put yourself in this situation because you kept going back and sleeping with him even after you developed feelings for him, and after he started dating someone else. Sooo... what my point is, the both of you were hooking up with each other knowing that it wouldn't lead to dating, until you started having feelings for him.