Met guy in person from online but not what I expected :( ..what to do?


I met the most wonderful guy online, a month ago. Since we "met" he texts morning, night and throughout the day. Calls me several times a week and we've both admitted that it feels like we have some sort of connection. Can talk so easily about anything and everything, such a sweet guy.

However we met for the first time a week ago, and it felt like it had been shattered. I'd seen pictures of him, but fair to say them must have been at least several years old. I know that personality should outshine apperance and I'm no perfect oil painting myself. I'm just so confused on what to do, on paper he's the ideal guy however I just didn't feel anything when seeing him.

I didn't want to hurt him but cooled off on the texting for a couple of days, but then his sweet words made me fall right in again.

We're going out again this evening, to the cinema and for food. I was just wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation? Or just advice in general on what to do?

Very confused

Update: Well met last night and it was pretty much the same as before, I hoped he'd be different but from the moment I saw him it kinda went down hill. Just from the way he was dressed and his voice in person. He was so sweet and done everything right, opened doors, compliments, even paid for everything although I did offer to pay for myself.

I don't know what to let him down, as he's texted me several times since saying thank you for a wonderful evening and when would I like to do it again


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think he should of been honest about his appearance. Instead he gave you photos that were old. This is shady and shows his insecurities. It's really up to you if you choose to pursue this or not. You have every right to move on, and shouldn't feel obligated. But you could also depriving yourself of a great relationship, in favor of something materialistic. So the choice is yours. My advice would be to see him a few more times. If you feel the chemistry outweighs the looks department, then maybe you guys have a shot.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Start by dating, that way his real personality well shine through and you can see him at the best, and worst of times.

    Then you choose:

    A) If he really is a super sweet guy and you want to go to the next level, then try and imagine life with him. Or (if its what you want) imagine sex with him. If you like the idea then go for it!

    B) If he's a really d*** then tell him it's not working (or even call or text him), then end it. If he keeps texting/calling you then change your num, it's cold but he got his chance to shine so you shouldn't feel guilty.

    Hope this helps, and the best of luck to you :)

  • lol shallow, but if you don't feel anything, you don't. Just be friends and leave it at that.


What Girls Said 2

  • Well keep being nice to him. But let him down easily, if you still don't want to be with him. Unfortantly I never been in that situation so I can't help really say more.

  • I've actually experienced the opposite. Dudes would look alright in their pictures and then when I met them in real life they were actually much better looking, hot even, than I had originally anticipated.

    I will say that attraction cannot be forced. Point is, he deceived you, and you should not feel bad for feeling the way you do (or rather don't). If he doesn't do anything for you, in terms of sex appeal, then tell him you just want to be friends and aren't feeling a connection.

    You're allowing sweet, affectionate words to supersede real life chemistry. Not a smart move.

    Since you're going out tonight, really think about how he makes you feel. If you find yourself really attracted to him, problem solved. Maybe he'll look different in a better way to you tonight. But if not, don't string him along -- cut the chord.