Do guys normally ask girls to be their girlfriend after sex?

Xper 5

I’ve been seeing this guy for 2 months and he still hasn’t said he wants to be with me exclusively

We act like a couple, he picks me up from my house everytime we go on dates, go for dinner, movies and bowling, make out.

The only thing we haven’t done is have sex. I’m thinking, does the feelings and exclusivity come after we’ve been intimate?

Do people nowadays like to test the goods before coming off the single market?

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Most Helpful Guys

Anonymous

16 d

Don’t disrespect yourself like this, girls think they need to put out because of all these stupid pressures and its not true, shitty men

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Is this still revelant?
- Dreamgirl97xo
  
  16 d
  But doesn’t sex release oxytocin which makes you closer to one another?
- Opinion Owner
  
  16 d
  Yeah but here’s the kicker: they effect is far more powerful on women than on men. So you as a woman are supposed to withhold sex until u get true commitment from the man, like engagement or marriage, otherwise you will always be the one who is more attached chemically. Well at least the first few times, after a few guys have used you you lose your ability to create that strong bond
  
  So sorry you’ve been fed these lies and made bad decisions, hopefully you can learn sooner rather than later and avoid being used again. Men do not respect women who give sex easy but they will never admit it cause they wanna fuck you. It’s a conflict of interest u cannot expect honesty from a man in this situation it is up to you to be strong
OddBeMe | 1.4K opinions shared on Dating topic.
Guru

16 d

If we're fucking, I'd think we're already girlfriend.

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Is this still revelant?
- Dreamgirl97xo
  
  16 d
  But then wouldn’t that just be friends with benefits?

What Girls & Guys Said

317

DemonInside
Xper 3

16 d

Maybe I got some sort of traumatic shit cause the first time I was with a girl (first girlfriend), she was a germaphobe and didn't like me going down on her. Then during intercourse within just a few minutes, she said it hurt her and I stopped.

So since then I never got that close to a girl until I slept with her. After I did and I liked it, then I unleash my feelings and thoughts on her (well, maybe not all at once, don't wanna scare her away, but I started), and that's when I considered us a real item.

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- Dreamgirl97xo
  
  16 d
  So you agree that sex should come before exclusivity?
- DemonInside
  
  16 d
  Maybe only because of my fucked up first experience. Just because of my bias, I no longer see the point to dating around for months only to discover a starship germaphobic type who feels pain just a few minutes into intercourse while thinking any touching, or licking, of the parts that might stimulate her is gross.
- DemonInside
  
  16 d
  * starfish
- Show All Show Less
- DemonInside
  
  16 d
  I'm totally down for waiting for all the way to marriage if she's going to turn out to be a dream lover in bed who likes everything I do, the way I touch her, probe her body, whatnot. But my first experience with my first serious girlfriend (and we waited months before the first time) fucked up that whole dream. So I no longer consider any relationship serious until I've slept with the girl.
- DemonInside
  
  16 d
  On this part though, it might sound like I'm some hound-dog all focused on sex. I'm not. The thing about that first girlfriend is that she managed to feel lonely and detached in the bedroom like we weren't connected. It wasn't about not being able to cum after I got my dick inside her. It was about feeling like my style of communication wasn't right for her. I felt lonely. And I never wanted to feel lonely with a girlfriend, in or out of the bedroom, but especially not in because how I am not supposed to feel lonely there if she's my only option and I'm never supposed to cheat on her? So I really didn't want to feel lonely, especially there, if I was gonna go through all the pain of getting and keeping a girlfriend, of being serious. And that first girlfriend made me feel really lonely, especially there. I found some subsequent ones after that didn't make me feel that way. And now I don't trust any relationship to last anymore until I've tested it, including in the bedroom.
- Dreamgirl97xo
  
  16 d
  Okay
- DemonInside
  
  16 d
  * managed to make me feel lonely
RingOfFire | 144 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Xper 5

16 d

I think there are only two ways of becoming exclusive (really only one).

The first way is to have a conversation and you both agree it is exclusive.

The second way is to have sex... after which is should be assumed it is exclusive. However it's only an assumption. And some people might not make that assumption.

So the only way to really assure that you both agree to be exclusive is to have a conversation about it and agree that it is. Without that agreement, you can never be sure what the other person expects.

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- Dreamgirl97xo
  
  16 d
  I don’t like putting pressure on a guy
- Dreamgirl97xo
  
  16 d
  He should ask me to be his girlfriend without me prompting him
- RingOfFire
  
  16 d
  No problem as long as you are okay if he is not exclusive. If you are not okay with it, you have to have the conversation with him otherwise you can't hold him to it. You can't expect him to agree with something unless you have talked about it and he agrees.
ChocoBrownieMonster
Explorer

16 d

some guys will try before they buy, others will respectfully wait until they think she's right emotionally. Sex is a bargaining tool for girls tbh, they know it and they use it as a weapon to lure him in. Once a guy gets feelings for a girl he will want exclusivity so he doesn't feel cheated, insecure, and heartbroken. I think this guy is on the fence with you and possibly you haven't shown him what he'll miss. Most girls can only offer sex and nothing else.

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- Dreamgirl97xo
  
  16 d
  What do you mean “on the fence with me” and how can I show him what he will miss?
- ChocoBrownieMonster
  
  16 d
  is your life wonderful? can you invite him to places others can't? are you adventurous? when i was 20-30 i was going on regular expeditions, formal events, travelling with my friends, club events and nights out to music places i liked whilst at university, i also developed groups of friends that made me popular. If youve got to know him already he's probably already made a judgement
- Dreamgirl97xo
  
  16 d
  Made a judgement that I’m not girlfriend material?
- Show All Show Less
- ChocoBrownieMonster
  
  16 d
  i dont know, i suggest you ask him privately but make sure your tone of voice is calm, soft, nice. Dont be aggressive and dont be standing up. Sit down together. I've had a girl invite me to her bedroom and ask me in an aggressive tone if i like her lol i was made to feel awkward.
DrunkenMonkey1423
Xper 2

16 d

Maybe your overthinking it and your idea of having to announce exclusivity might sound crazy. All I know is it sounds like your dating and only players and sluts would feel the need to announce it. No offense, I sleep around a lot but even me myself have never felt the need to announce something like that.

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- Dreamgirl97xo
  
  16 d
  So I’m meant to just put up with being friends with him yet kissing and going on dates. What’s wrong with wanting a girlfriend title? At least I know where I stand
- DrunkenMonkey1423
  
  16 d
  That's not an issue. What I'm saying is instead of asking if y'all are to be exclusive why don't you ask if y'all are boyfriend and girlfriend?
alance99 | 617 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Yoda

16 d

A geniune wouldn't propose the gurl after having sex, you are living person not some clother or car who he will decide after trying my geniune advice to you would be to dont have sex until he proposes, i know its difficult for you since you dont know what exactly you would call like dating or friendship since he isn't making the move.

You are a pretty person from inside as well as outside so dont do anything like this 🙂😊

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scuff1986 | 378 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Yoda

16 d

I dunno, I would say everyones different in that respect, but if he does do that is that how you really wanna base your relationship? Or would that just turn it into a friends with benefits idea?

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- Dreamgirl97xo
  
  16 d
  Ugh I give up on dating
- scuff1986
  
  16 d
  I think you need to give up on him as it just seems like he just wants a female friend
MrCommodore | 324 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Yoda

16 d

It depends, most people have sex quite quickly, bu 2nd or 3rd date, and by that stage I would have a good idea if a girl is girlfriend material.

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- Dreamgirl97xo
  
  16 d
  We’ve been on 5 dates but no sex yet
- Dreamgirl97xo
  
  16 d
  He has said he wants to though
- MrCommodore
  
  16 d
  You look great, I dont know why he isn't eager to move to the next stage
- Show All Show Less
- Dreamgirl97xo
  
  16 d
  He said once hotels are open again (after national lockdown) we can have a weekend away so obvs we know what is gonna happen
- MrCommodore
  
  16 d
  Oh yeah, love time 😉🤣.
  He lives far from you? Most guys in their 20's would not be so restrained, they would be very keen to be having sex ASAP. I thought he is maybe a virgin, religious or maybe even gay.
- Dreamgirl97xo
  
  16 d
  He lives 10 mins away from me and I doubt he’s a virgin cause he’s been in a serious relationship before so obviously they fucked
- MrCommodore
  
  16 d
  Is that you in profile picture?
- Dreamgirl97xo
  
  16 d
  Yes 👍🏽
- MrCommodore
  
  16 d
  Okay, I am confused by him now. Follow me
TheorionMage
Xper 5

15 d

Nearly 'always'... but YOU set the terms and use protection.

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bklynbadboy1 | 1.7K opinions shared on Dating topic.
Guru

16 d

Thats depends on the guy. But I advise you to stop I feel like he's using you at this point. He wants to be treated like you man without being your man

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- Dreamgirl97xo
  
  16 d
  Tbh 2 months isn't that long. Probably wants to get to know me first.
- bklynbadboy1
  
  16 d
  Listen I agree but he still want all the perks of being your boyfriend without actually being your boyfriend that is never good cause if you give him everything that he want and he's not your boyfriend what's going to make him be your boyfriend if he's already getting everything you want without having to give you a title
- Dreamgirl97xo
  
  16 d
  I’ll give him till December
- Show All Show Less
- bklynbadboy1
  
  16 d
  Just be careful cause your cool peoples I don't want to see you get hurt
Anonymous

16 d

Yes--absolutely. I wouldn't even consider having an exclusivity conversation with a girl unless we were regularly having sex or at the VERY least getting naked and getting each other off on a regular basis.

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jasco | 754 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Yoda

16 d

No some times i take my friends out to, just to have someone to talk to, my bff and me have been friends for a long time and we have fun, plus we don't like each other like that anyway

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Younghungguy17 | 52 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Xper 5

16 d

I would ask him sounds like your basically dating maybe he assumes you are

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- Dreamgirl97xo
  
  16 d
  Because he takes me out on dates?
- Dreamgirl97xo
  
  16 d
  Thing is, I thought dating was meeting their family and friends too
Bidensucks2020 | 53 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Xper 5

16 d

What is he stone cold asked you to marry him?

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- Dreamgirl97xo
  
  16 d
  Huh?
- Dreamgirl97xo
  
  16 d
  We’re not boyfriend and girlfriend
- Bidensucks2020
  
  16 d
  A guy could marry a stranger
- Show All Show Less
- ChocoBrownieMonster
  
  16 d
  ask him to take you to vegas ;)
- Dreamgirl97xo
  
  16 d
  What will happen in Vegas?
- ChocoBrownieMonster
  
  16 d
  whatever happens in vegas stays in vegas
Valnac | 85 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Yoda

16 d

Every guy is different!

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Nayyr | 111 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Xper 6

16 d

Guys normally come to their senses

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- Dreamgirl97xo
  
  16 d
  After sex?
- Nayyr
  
  16 d
  No idea I've never had sex
mrgspoter | 768 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Yoda

16 d

Never said it only young lol

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- Dreamgirl97xo
  
  16 d
  What?
- mrgspoter
  
  16 d
  Only said it younger lol
jordynkong
Xper 1

16 d

Nah, more like a fling is better a arrangement

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Bee-Hatch | 109 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Xper 6

16 d

Have you asked him?

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Dave31989 | 360 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Xper 7

16 d

nope

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chriscdi | 2.5K opinions shared on Dating topic.
Master

16 d

I don't know

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