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Was he just an asshole?

Anonymous
Guy I was dating for 3m ended up not wanting a relationship. I felt like he deceived me because I told him from the start that I didn’t want a friends with benefits situation and later told him I had a problem with trusting men because of bad experiences in the past. He told me not to worry.

I am confused because we will do all these relationships things together. He also talked about me meeting his parents, introduced me to his roommates, texted me constantly and called me his girl. But now looking back he would say contradictory things like I shouldn’t call us a relationship ( in casual terms) and having a long term hook up would be nice. Most importantly, when I asked him if were on the same page of seeking a relationship, he shut me down, told me “let’s see where this goes.” But he made me feel insane for asking for assurance. I gave him the benefit of the doubt then because we were only dating a month by then.

It bothered me though and I asked him again for clearity a couple weeks later because he suddenly became distant. We finally had the talk and he revealed he wasn’t ready to commit. He then implied if I would be interested in a friends with benefits and I said NO. I called him out and he said that this wasn’t his endgame, that he was going to make a move but wanted to trust himself (whatever that means). He then said we can be friends because I was nice and if I need him for anything let him know. Obviously I was pissed because he was dishonest with me and I declined his offer of “friendship.” He lost my trust and I cut off all contact. I tried my best to communicate and be mature while dating him. My question is did he plan to fuck with me from the start or was it something else. Why didn’t he tell me what he wanted from the start? Additionally, it’s hard to trust myself in dating because I feel like I always have to be on guard and not trust anyone because of situations like this...
Was he just an asshole?
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