What’s the reasoning behind some guys never dating?

[chris0977]

My rebuttal: what's the reasoning behind why guys should date... here's my experience:

Dating a modern woman means, nearly always, in my experience, also dating her phone & fighting for attention, like being an "app", among everything else in her life, on demand at any instant, fighting for her attention (including social attention online.

Many women I meet aren't exactly spending free time reading War in Peace, focusing to grow themselves mentally & emotionally, over being on Snapchat & those with looks tend to believe themselves entitled because of attributes, given by genetics, that can get men's dicks hard (and attention, by result) entitles them to some form of superior right to be demanding & picky.

Show me what actually makes you special (this pisses lots of women off, in my experience, the guy making demands is a "selfish narcissistic jerk" - or something similar)... i. e. not talking, using the same apps, thinking like billions of other women.

I'm currently reading Tolstoy, learning Italian, studying philosophy, developing musical skills, none of which is to chase formal education, finances, material gain, or get attention, but simply develop abilities & my mind... what's your average day like?

[KimKardashiansFeet]

Like others are saying; low self confidence, fear of rejection or perhaps lack of interest. Id also like to add that being "dense" might also be a reason why. I myself am dense and because of this I have missed out on guys who liked me back cause I never really got the message.

I will only get the message if someone is upfront about their feelings and saying "I love you" is not enough in my case..

[anon1903]

You can simply not want it. People countlessly ask me online why relationships do not interest me. Sometimes I care enough to lie "haven't found the right one" but really, I just don't. I guess what I'm trying to say this, its okay not to want things that other people do. Everyone aren't the same

[OlderAndWiser]

I assume that guys who don't date are just too scared to ask a girl for a date and are afraid to experience rejection.

[Bandit74]

Not attractive, low confidence and never asked anyone. I think I probably could get a girlfriend if I tried hard enough but it still wouldn't be satisfying to me. Part of it is that I don't really want to be with a girl where she is the first and potentially only girl I ever sleep with meanwhile I'm like her 8th or whatever. Even though I think I could get a relationship I don't think I'm desirable enough to get a fuck buddy let alone multiple which is what I would need to do in order to catch up to where the average girl is. I also think girls are pickier about looks for casual sex than for relationships which means that most of the guys she hooked up with previously would probably be on average more conventionally attractive than me ie taller, more muscular, more masculine face, probably more endowed etc. And ultimately I think even if I got a girlfriend I'd realistically just be the backup plan she settles for after none of the more attractive guys she slept with wanted to commit to her which aside from the obvious ego blow would also likely increase the odds of infidelity and/or divorce which already seems fairly common anyways.

[VanillaSalt]

Quality of the man.
Men these days are lacking in many ways.

Quality of women available today.
Feminism am I right ;).
Lack of desire/interest.
What do I get out of this deal. Women will put out easy enough I don’t have to commit.
Never mind marriage is nothing but trouble for a man.
With marriage being what it is the rate of divorce is nearly 50% for first time divorces going up nearly 10% per extra divorce. When divorce happens the man will 90% of the time be stuck paying alimony. If they had kids the man will I believe the number was 85% of the time have secondary custody and will pay 50% of his income for child support.


If you have no interest be happy. Your lucky. Guys like me that want a good relationship and kids won’t have it because of all these reasons. Their mainly generalized issues and there’s some good women and men can be worthy and marriage don’t have to end in divorce but what are the odds? Such low odds that playing the games pretty much a waste of time.

[Pasiton5]

Comfortable with them selves some dudes like their freedom not bring tied down being alone you have to take like who you are too be alone and still enjoy your self, most people can't stand themselves especially when it comes to being alone I'm about it does get lonely at times but not too sound selfish you only have your own attitude to deal with not having to listen to someone whine constantly about the same thing their crappy job no good guy or girl and take a closer look at those who claim this is my best friend you begin to notice best friend are too make you look better it's always the best friend who is a little shorter faster skinnier unsocial just not on par with you, fake is what I'm saying. But that's society today being fake in denial can't handle the truth but guys who don't date much is too busy living their lives their way solo and when they do socialize almost always have something of interest value to talk about make women in the room look turn their heads as I walk by or engage them in conversation nicest person you ever want to meet nothing phoney real,

[cth96190]

If men choose to not date, here are a few reasons:
Title IX; #MeToo; false rape allegations; false domestic violence allegations; paternity fraud; being ordered to pay child support for another man's child; being sent to prison indefinitely because he cannot pay the court-imposed child support; losing everything that he owns in the Family Court if he cohabits with a female.
The cherry on top was created by a Canadian court about two months ago, which ordered a man to pay spousal support to a woman who he dated, but with whom he did not cohabit.
What that means, in Canada (expect it to spread), is that if a man dates a woman she can use a court to go after his income and his property. Even dating has become too dangerous to contemplate.
Glance at a woman as she walks past = sexual harassment complaint.
Show interest in a woman = sexual harassment complaint
Ask a woman on a date = sexual harassment complaint
Go on a date = false rape allegation
Have consensual sex = false rape allegation
She becomes pregnant = possible paternity fraud (Chad or Tyrone may have been the father) and 20 years of child-support payments, whether or not the child is his.
Cohabit with a female = false rape and domestic violence allegations
Marry a female = there is a 50 per cent probability that within eight years she will leave and use the Family Court to steal everything that the man has and use child and spousal support orders to turn him into her impoverished slave for at least the next 20 years. There is a 90 per cent probability that university 'educated' females will initiate a divorce. Conclusion: avoid university educated females.
In summary, in every aspect of the human mating game, women, as a collective, have chosen to make themselves so toxic to men that we should put biohazard and radiation warning signs on them.

[godfatherfan]

I never had a girlfriend before I got married, just a handful of first dates and a few second dates. Then I was with my exwife for 25 years 4 days. The last 7 years I really have only had 1serious relationship that lasted 8 months in 2015. But due to distance, we only saw each other 1x a week on avg, it wasn't much of a relationship. I had a couple that lasted 2 months. Honestly, since I never lived on my own when I was younger, I decided back in 2016 to take "at least a year" for myself. That has turned into 4 years. I enjoy being able to do what I want, when I want. Eat what I want, when I want. Sleep as much as I want, when I want. Nobody bitching at me anymore. I also work midnight's. Most women don't even want to try and make that work, even through I have 3 nights off each week (Fri, Sat, Sun). I am finally at a point where I think I might get serious about dating again, once covid is done. we shall see.

[Citizenkirk]

I guess I can relate, so I did once in awhile a lot of the social interactions I had with the opposite gender resulted from us just being in the same place at the same time and not wanting to be with those around us who are originally responsible for being in the same place at the same time. Or from some situation where we both were either lonely and in need of company, or just Randy and all around horny at the time. I can contribute pairing with a girl more often to chance and circumstance than I can from an actual planned date or courting engagement.
It seems like some of the intimate experiences I've had with the opposite sex have been less about me being the most desirable person in a group and more about being the least offensive or chauvinistic one in the group. Sometimes biing the only guy not trying to touch her inappropriately ends up making me the only guy she actually wants to touch her.

[The_Sal2]

Some of us had so much it's not a big deal anymore. Girls today are also more unfaithful it's not worth the heartbreak. Also depends on where you live I found conservative women to be the more laid-back faithful type compared to say california women. It's mostly about the areas you're in.
Me too movement, feminist movement. People around them swaying their minds to think a certain way. Conservative women stick to old traditional values. I suggest looking for those type of girls stay away from city girls

[MCheetah]

Well, like you, I've almost never dated, as well. I've been on dates, but very rarely have I gone steady (made it official) with any of them. Out of ten women, I've only had two "relationships" in my life, and I've certainly tried throughout my twenties. But I think it's a mix of this:

- Modern women being too picky and entitled
- The man not being tall enough for modern women
- The man not being attractive looking/fit
- The man lacking confidence or being too afraid
- There being a bad selection of singles in your local area
- Either party not having enough time to date in their lives
- Either party having relationship baggage they haven't moved past yet

Believe me, I know what it's like to get a case of the Lones (loneliness) at times.

[Silver158]

It depends. If I found a decent woman that I actually like and get along with then yeah I'd relationship the shit out of her.

But so far my dating experience has been meeting girls who are just straight up horrible selfish people. Either attention seekers, cheaters (cheating on someone who isn't me usually) or just trying to take advantage of me (had 1 girl who admitted to having issues with her living situation try to convince me to let her move in after the 2nd date... seen on facebook later that she was posting memes about using guys for their money soooooo...). I mean I don't paint every woman with the same brush but so far my experience hasn't been great.

[Sonorous]

Well, there are many many reasons. But a common one is gynocentrism. When it comes to dating and mating, women have the upper hand. Men usually have to play by their rules and meet their requirements in order to even be a candidate for a lasting relationship. Power dynamics man.

[Levin]

It's all personal.

You must know your own reasoning. It's about self awareness.

Have you been focused on your career? Are you not interested in women? Have you suffered previous issues in childhood or parental relationships that have affected your relationships going forward? Have you not pursued women? Do you have low self confidence/people skills? Could be for a multitude of reasons.

[RawIronhide]

I'm 24 I think about it constantly. Maybe it's just not for you but highly doubtful. I believe you should reevaluate what you want out of life and reconsider the power you have to do something about it. You really just want to be alone like that until you're dead? I doubt it.

[Celtero]

I've never dated, and I was kind of an insecure and low self-esteemed individual in my youth, but I'm just over women now. They're not that interesting, they're not that attractive, they sleep around, and I don't get the feeling they want to make a positive impact in my life.

[lexes]

the last relationship i was in fuct me up bad.. i was involved in a manipulative narcissistic relationship. that left me damage bad... she told me things like im never goin to meet anybody else like her and im goin to be single forever... them statements are resonated in my head... now i wonder if that is goin to be the case?

[DeltaCharlieEcho]

A lot of guys learn that good women are insanely rare and it makes dating less desirable. Most women and men are pieces of shit, and must women use up their worth by the time they decide to settle down and have a family. Unfortunately, even with more good men than good women, women tend to make horrible decisions and choose the wrong guys and proceed to run a good thing when they do end up with a good guy.

It sucks but women don't operate the same way men do with cold calculated effort, they almost always follow the path most traveled and choose guys based on preselection bias.

[winterfox10]

I know that a lot of the women I've tried dating simply aren't looking for relationships. They categorically aren't interested. So I don't really date, because women just aren't interested in dating me. So rather than fighting that long battle; I'd rather just have fun in the ways I can.

[lightbulb27]

I did the same, although few dates, but very short ones.

I was f'd up, scared of girls and cursed myself out of having a family. trauma ontop of trauma and wallah... no interest in girls or run from them.

or maybe it just isn't your thing and life plan. But start examinign why you do what you do.. probably conditioning in life.

[The_Outlaw]

Some guys just as well as gals are happy just playing the field. More freedom, less if any drama. Most everyone wants to be with someone but if that someone, for example, is toxic, you're better off. For me personally, I'm OK with it. Just shit luck, all the time, man!

[karangill]

Not every guy has the opportunity where women are throwing themselves at him.

Another reason could be he's a mama's boy and hasn't mature yet (doesn't matter how old he is)

Some guy worked hard for their career and waited until their 30's and 40's to get in a relationship but now they complain how no good women are left for them to marry (either they're divorced, have kids, not good quality or whatever)