What’s the reason?
Familiarity breeds contempt.
Really? So you’ll only date strangers?
I don't date
Well that’s different then. You don’t date anyone at all.
I guess dating your friend means if you break up, you lose friend in addition to a lover. I saw it in Friends
Not necessarily. I know couples who continue to be friends.
That's the basic assumption : "I'll lose two people at once"
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But you were lovers first then became friends right? The other way round doesn’t seem to work?
No, we were friends for a year before we started dating. It is absolutely possible to be close friends and date later as long as there are romantic feelings there.
Oh. But so many people say it’s not possible.
They are absolutely wrong. I'm the living proof of that. Anything is possible in the world, including becoming romantically involved after having a friendship. It doesn't mean it will always happen. Some people aren't meant to date, some people just won't develop those feelings for one another, and some people will. Life is crazy.
The poster above thinks it’s true and many agree. But I think this erodes opportunities especially for shy people who find the idea of dating someone they just met uncomfortable. They refuse to date friends they’re close to and even like romantically and then complain in later life about being single and not being able to find a partner.
I still believe it is false. No matter what another commenter said. Because I literally did it. Yeah, there are people that just won't date their friends, but that doesn't mean it is impossible to happen to anyone ever.
How did it happen for you?
We spent a lot of time playing video games together, watching movies, talking on the phone about life. At the beginning, I didn't see him in a romantic light at all. The more I got to know him, the more I liked him. Months of getting along and becoming better friends, I started to like him romantically. One day I flat out said, I'm starting to like you a lot. He said the same. We started dating and here we are 7 years later.
Wow. I’ve heard stories like that before actually. But I don’t know how it happens as many girls seem to think that “familiarity breeds contempt”.
The girls that think that way may just never date friends because of that thinking. Its okay if they never do. I dont believe in "familiarity breeds contempt" that is honestly so dumb to me. If you aren't friends with your partner then are you really happy? If you can't call them your best friend then is the relationship really that strong?
That’s my thinking too but it’s a strong barrier for many.
So strong they’d rather reject a friend and ruin the friendship anyway.
Which is understandable, as we are all different. That person just may not have romantic feelings for the other, and shouldn't be forced to try if they dont want to. It sucks when a friendship is ruined over it. Having friends and a good support network can help a person's mental state in so many ways. I think people should give their friends a try more often, but it's also so risky to do so.
And many don’t want to take that risk I guess even when there’s mutual romantic feelings.