Are some guys scared of girl leading them on and thus doesn’t pursue girl even if she’s initiating contact?

Question

I’m confused. I’ve messaged couple times a guy on facebook that used to check me out very obviously in the past.
he seems to like talking to me and said that I don’t bother him when I message him BUT he hasn’t reached out to me at all.

Updates:

1 y

Bump

Answer 1

Kurαȷ

Guru

A woman initiating things is most often just going to fail.
Men initiate things when they are attracted to someone, if they don't, it should be assumed that they simply aren't interested.

The chances that a desirable man would reciprocate a woman initiating are very slim.
Most if not all reasons behind why a man wouldn't initiate are negative.

React

Answer 2

Anonymous

What have your messages said? You've initiated contact, but my guess is that's all? Have you expressed any interest in him beyond that? ie, he/they may think nothing of it and that and doubt it means you are interested in them. That's my guess anyway as probably would be the case with me.

React

Asker

1 y
Tbh my messages have been friendly. He doesn't know that I like him. Since I've contacted him first few times wouldn't he hop on the chance and start reaching out to me if he was interested?
Opinion Owner

1 y
Depends on the guy, not necessarily. If he doesn't sense you like him, he might just think you see him as a friend and not think anything of the contact itself? But in re-reading your question, I mean, yeah he could message you from time to time. But if you've rejected him before (?), that could be why he's not. Once I was rejected, a woman would have to directly tell me she was interested in me or I would just assume she wasn't, regardless of what she did or didn't do. But if you didn't reject him, then maybe it's a case like others have said and he's found or involved with someone else? Hard to say. I would say it's one of those two things though, either is interested in someone else, or doesn't think he has a chance with you. That you have no interest, even if you've initiate contact again. You might have to be more direct with the interest?
Asker

1 y
He used to check me out for years even if he hadn't seen each other for long time.. He always managed to recognize me in public and stare. He once said thag I was pretty (long time ago).
Noe i'm just surprised that hr will contact me IF he had really good excuse liie congratulating me on something. Otherwise I have to contact him. Maybe he's cautious or something.
Show All Show Less
Opinion Owner

1 y
Could be. Might have low self esteem or is shy as well. Could be many things. I'm guessing for one reason or another, he thinks he has no shot with you. If you like him now, you might have to be the one pursuing him?
Opinion Owner

1 y
For example, one way to show a bit of interest, that would at least get him to question it, is maybe ask about his life, is he seeing anyone?

Answer 3

Asker

Tbh my messages have been friendly. He doesn't know that I like him. Since I've contacted him first few times wouldn't he hop on the chance and start reaching out to me if he was interested?

Answer 4

Opinion Owner

Depends on the guy, not necessarily. If he doesn't sense you like him, he might just think you see him as a friend and not think anything of the contact itself? But in re-reading your question, I mean, yeah he could message you from time to time. But if you've rejected him before (?), that could be why he's not. Once I was rejected, a woman would have to directly tell me she was interested in me or I would just assume she wasn't, regardless of what she did or didn't do. But if you didn't reject him, then maybe it's a case like others have said and he's found or involved with someone else? Hard to say. I would say it's one of those two things though, either is interested in someone else, or doesn't think he has a chance with you. That you have no interest, even if you've initiate contact again. You might have to be more direct with the interest?

Answer 5

Asker

He used to check me out for years even if he hadn't seen each other for long time.. He always managed to recognize me in public and stare. He once said thag I was pretty (long time ago).
Noe i'm just surprised that hr will contact me IF he had really good excuse liie congratulating me on something. Otherwise I have to contact him. Maybe he's cautious or something.

Answer 6

Opinion Owner

Could be. Might have low self esteem or is shy as well. Could be many things. I'm guessing for one reason or another, he thinks he has no shot with you. If you like him now, you might have to be the one pursuing him?