What's the best way for a shy/introverted man to get a date?

Question

Simply put, it's hard for us because despite being shy/introverted, as a man we are still expected to make the first move and do all the talking. I've tried dating sites and never get any replies and asking girls out in person is super difficult. Despite the difficulties I still just muster up the courage and do it anyway only to get inevitably friendzoned or the whole "Just got out of a bad relationship and I'm not looking for anything right now" speech. Or she's just taken. I'm 29 years old and I'm just sick of the constant rejection and I have no idea how to change it. Nobody gives me a chance. No dates, no nothing. The only girls who actually talk to me for more than like a day are taken or strictly "not looking." People have nothing but good things to say about me physically, morally, and intellectually so I don't know what I could do better.

Answer 1

Mogtar

Xper 5

Stop trying to practice on dating sites, Mogtar thinks. Practice on people in person. Even if you get the girl to agree on a date online, now what? You don't have practice charming her in person unless she practically fall in love with you online and can look past all the social awkwardness.

And Mogtar wondering how much you focus on girls. When's last time you made a friend? Mogtar don't mean someone who picked you out and introduced themselves and asked you to hang out. Mogtar mean when you were the person who did that and chose your own friends. Because being able to turn stranger into acquaintance, and acquaintance into friend, is no so different from being able to turn girl in person into acquaintance (or immediately into date), and date into a girlfriend. And it is much easier to practice if you down to just make friends. You might even accidentally make girlfriend if you get good at this and can make friends wherever, whenever, and she might really be the one.

React

Mogtar

1 y
Also Mogtar thinks you need to have fun with this. Don't be results-oriented. Be fun-oriented. Interaction with girls should be fun, not daunting. Have some fun. If she hates you and gets disgusted at the end, shrug it off. Keep having your fun. Misery comes from being too oriented towards goals and failing to enjoy the journey to get there.
Mogtar

1 y
From Mogtar's standpoint, it is when you don't need "courage" to start a chat with a girl in person (or anyone for that matter) that you will succeed. As long as you need "courage", you will need insane luck. When you no longer need "courage", and don't see the big deal, that's when you no longer need to rely on luck as much.

Answer 2

Mogtar

Also Mogtar thinks you need to have fun with this. Don't be results-oriented. Be fun-oriented. Interaction with girls should be fun, not daunting. Have some fun. If she hates you and gets disgusted at the end, shrug it off. Keep having your fun. Misery comes from being too oriented towards goals and failing to enjoy the journey to get there.

Answer 3

Mogtar

From Mogtar's standpoint, it is when you don't need "courage" to start a chat with a girl in person (or anyone for that matter) that you will succeed. As long as you need "courage", you will need insane luck. When you no longer need "courage", and don't see the big deal, that's when you no longer need to rely on luck as much.

Answer 4

Cherokeehp | 1.1K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

Do you want the sugar coated version or the truth?

React

jabariw18

1 y
The truth obviously.
Cherokeehp

1 y
I mean the truth hurts sometimes so I just wanted to give you warning. Shy introverted men can get dates but they either have to be attractive or willing to come out of their shell every now and then and do something that makes them stand out. It can be harder for shy people to get dates because getting a date requires talking to people. If you’re really attractive you can usually attract people and get people to approach you. But if you’re not very attractive then you’re gonna have to make an effort to approach people yourself and impress them. Currently I’d rate you like a 4, but you have potential to be more attractive. Maybe go get your facial hair shaped up or something. I don't know.
jabariw18

1 y
Um... thanks. And I do approach people. I just get rejected.
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jabariw18

1 y
Really a 4 though?
Cherokeehp

1 y
Yes a 4. Personally I like the pro-black vibes you give out with the dreads and dashiki. And I like the fact that you smile in your picture, cause a lot of men just make straight faces and that’s boring. But I don't know, maybe it’s just a bad picture or something.
jabariw18

1 y
Ok then
jabariw18

1 y
So I'm ugly and I'm shy. Great.

Answer 5

jabariw18

The truth obviously.

Answer 6

Cherokeehp

I mean the truth hurts sometimes so I just wanted to give you warning. Shy introverted men can get dates but they either have to be attractive or willing to come out of their shell every now and then and do something that makes them stand out. It can be harder for shy people to get dates because getting a date requires talking to people. If you’re really attractive you can usually attract people and get people to approach you. But if you’re not very attractive then you’re gonna have to make an effort to approach people yourself and impress them. Currently I’d rate you like a 4, but you have potential to be more attractive. Maybe go get your facial hair shaped up or something. I don't know.

Answer 7

jabariw18

Um... thanks. And I do approach people. I just get rejected.

Answer 8

jabariw18

Really a 4 though?

Answer 9

Cherokeehp

Yes a 4. Personally I like the pro-black vibes you give out with the dreads and dashiki. And I like the fact that you smile in your picture, cause a lot of men just make straight faces and that’s boring. But I don't know, maybe it’s just a bad picture or something.

Answer 10

jabariw18

Ok then

Answer 11

jabariw18

So I'm ugly and I'm shy. Great.

What's the best way for a shy/introverted man to get a date?

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