Feeling suicidal for the first time in my life?

Simply put, being hopelessly single and alone sucks. I've never had middle school or high school romances, proms, or dances. My first kiss wasn't until I was 23 and I had to go across several states to see her. My only true relationship ended a year ago. We lasted 2 years. 99% of all girls I've asked out before and after that relationship have rejected me. The only girls who will spend even a few minutes talking to me are either taken or give a strict "I'm not looking for anything" disclaimer. People have nothing but good things to say about me. I'm tall, fit, artistic, intelligent, sweet, honest, thoughtful, responsible and mature yet nobody wants to go on a date with me.

I have a lot to offer but nobody gives me a chance. I have a lot that I want out of life but it has little meaning to me if I'm doing it alone. I realistically contemplated putting a gun to my head the other day but I talked myself out of it. However I still have this incessant painful depression of loneliness and worthlessness that may manifest those thoughts again. I can't keep going on wastingaway years of my life like this again. I'll be 30 soon, next thing I know I'll be 50 and still alone. I vast live like that. I know that I'm worth something but girls don't think I am and somehow already know that prior to getting to know me. Then I get ridiculed or made out to be desperate or pathetic for feeling this way. All I ever get are kind words and encouragement. I have gotten enough of that already. What I really need is a chance. ☹
Feeling suicidal for the first time in my life?
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