Is it normal for a guy to marry a girl that's older that him?

Question

I have this weird feeling for this girl like I had crushes before and this one is new to me I feel like she more than a crush and I'm really into her and I think she in to me to but she 26 and I'm 20 that is weird I know but do you guys think that I have a chance with her or no. I'm I being ignorant or should I just go with it and see what it leads do you guys/girls have any advice what I should do. I'm taller and look the same age as her but is 6 years of age to much or is it to much

Updates:

1 y

I don't know why I put marry in my question I have to know her and take her on dates first

1 y

Which I do know her but were not dating

Answer 1

btbc92

Influencer

You just need to Simply ask her yourself. You should never assume that a person just like this that and the third. At the same time. You need to be more considerate of the possible consequences that such an age Gap especially when a woman is older can have. You must remember that by you being 20 she's on a different Spectrum mentally than you are. I don't care how mature you are. They will be noticeable differences that can make a person uncomfortable. Normally what does happen is that when they ever is fights, disagreements, or whatever, if a man is not mentally mature enough to handle his responsibilities, she maybe feel like she is dating or raising a child then she is having an equal partner. So age does play a big role I don't care what anybody really says. So again you are better off not getting your hopes up unrealistically and just simply ask her what does she think on it. And if she's not comfortable then you are free to move on.

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Umish674

1 y
Well when I talk to her she mature but she has a fun part of her. me and her have a lot in common and your right I shouldn't keep my hopes up and I'm considered as more mature for my age I'm a gentleman and charming my mom says that so im just going what she said but I'm not a man child I have common sense and I'm smart not that good at math but I can make good choices I maybe 6 years younger but I know how treat a woman right if she thinks I'm being a child I'll stop it because I like to tease I agree half the stuff you said so thank you for you reply
btbc92

1 y
Is not about you talkin to her and assume she's mature. It's a simple matter of how she behaves in her character. If she's getting upset and just because you say you want to wait. That's not maturity. That's a tantrum. A mature woman doesn't respond that way they are understanding even if they are not in agreement with it. Because when she does that she can condition you to conform to her ways. I got advice for you. Don't do it for your sake.

I was mature at that age and even I would not react that way unless I had good reason was a person. You were just being respectful and mindful. That is not the appropriate reaction from her part and you shouldn't have to tolerate that. That should automatically be a red flag.
btbc92

1 y
Judge a person's character. Not the personality.
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Umish674

1 y
She might not be uncomfortable not ever women is the same. The girl I talk to has a childish side to her I don't know but I kinda like it. And about responsibility I can be responsible I'm a adult I have a job and I do my responsibility every single day
btbc92

1 y
That's not what I'm talking about. I am talking about her character and how her mentality is. Is nothing to do about being childish. It's about innocent. Innocence and childish is not the same. I have innocence. A person that is childish tends to be very immature. And trust me when I say it may seem cute at first but after a while and not only gets annoying, but taxing and hurtful. It can also be a sign of possible abuse in the future. Is not about so much of this being uncomfortable but whether or not if it's appropriate. You are 6 years her senior. The younger a person is the more potentiality for problems. You have to remember that she is still extremely young barely into the world of adulthood. She needs to grow a bit more first. Because she is still too young. You have to remember that your primary needs is not the same as hers. Because her priorities may not be the same as yours. Because girls like that often don't think about priorities. They think about what they can get out of a person because they want experience and want excitement.
btbc92

1 y
And if you don't give them what they want they can become very eccentric, Moody, and unstable. If she's taking offense just because you're caring about her welfare was going to be when it comes out to other things? She's going to start thinking that you're trying to control her when all you're trying to do is help her.
btbc92

1 y
It's not about every woman is the same. It's about being realistic. My focus at the age was not on some man. But to work, built-in coming experience out in the real world, and to grow and mature as a young woman and adult. I knew better not to dabble into areas I was not prepared for or shouldn't be in. Because a lot of men that are older will sadly take advantage of your naiveness and lack of experience and knowledge.
Umish674

1 y
So your just trying to help me not to break my heart I'll ask her seriously questions and if me and disagree on something then I'll just think about it of it's worth it or not when the time is right. I guess it just like that's song sometimes the boy never gets the girl
Umish674

1 y
I knew a couple that were 7 years age gap the women was older and they been married for 21 years I guess that just how it was back in the old day not anymore I guess
btbc92

1 y
That's not the point. You don't know her. She don't know you. It's not like you've been friends for a very long time. A few years even. You are thinking about asking a complete stranger who you are deeply infatuated with and no little to nothing about her. Of course I'm trying to help you not get your heartbroken but at the same time I don't want to see this young woman damage because she is too young. If she wants to screw her life up that's her choice. But the last thing I want to see is you being responsible for it and then you get heartbroken. Is not about the boy never gets the girl. Is a simple fact of was that something for him to be pursuing in the first place? You have to take this seriously. I never did it not once in my life and I would never put myself in such positions and I already have enough hurt. Because it's less about asking serious questions even though that is important. It's about making sure you have the right intentions and reasons with this individual and that she equally has the right intentions. Because sadly especially them they often don't. You want somebody who was on not only your mental level, but is someone around your age bracket that have the same mentality and desires you have. I'm overall the minority. You need to build a friendship with this person first. See how the individual is. See if there is compatibility. Then decide if dating is the right step and you don't rush the process. However again she is just way too young right now.
Umish674

1 y
I'll just let god take the wheel see what this leads
btbc92

1 y
No it's not that that's just how it was. Back in the day people didn't have much choice. Nowaday people have many choices so it's a simple matter of again if it's a relationship that is called by God then it will be. If the individuals are meant to be together, not being soulmates so let's not get that twisted. If they are meant to be together then it will naturally work. But it takes two willing participants to be able to do so and maturity on both ends. It takes real maturity. Them being married for 21 years proves that. And it takes a lot of work. But it can take double for a larger age Gap. And I'm telling you this out of my own parents experience and it was not healthy. You must remember that it is a rarity. It is not something that should be made a trend. But whether or not it should be at all. And I'm just telling you about as of age Gap or not she just does not sound like someone that's for you.
btbc92

1 y
What you should do is ask God is this the person that you should be pursuing. Is it a yes or no. That's key. Not your own will but God will. Find out God's will. That's key.
Umish674

1 y
So I basically being ignorant
btbc92

1 y
Well I'm telling you is that you need to be careful to not overstep God's desire for your life. I have seen it happen many times and even I sadly myself have done the same thing. A new way it is ignorance because some of us have not been taught. Some of us do not fully understand what is being taught what if we have. However. God wants us to rely on him for all things. You are free to make your own decisions that's what free will is about. But he also wants you to remember that he is God and God is also in control and he also knows what's best. Better than we do. Always. It's up to us to accept that or not. I warned my friends the same thing for years. You can bet it took them that long just to figure it out. Before they finally understood it and they begin developing the relationships that they desired. The Lord orders our steps. Let him be the one to order your steps. But he is the one that has the final say. But it is your choice to listen or not that's the only advice I have for you.
Umish674

1 y
I'll just pray about it and see if this is what god wants
btbc92

1 y
What I'm telling you*
btbc92

1 y
There you go. Now you're developing not only your spiritual and prayer life. But you're developing wisdom. And I know that God will give you the answer.
Umish674

1 y
I don't know anymore I'm just having a confused moment in my life I'll just dont date her I guess I'll just let god decide this just to much for me I'll just talk to god about good day
btbc92

1 y
Okay. The same to you. All I can say is is simply make sure this is God's Will and not yours. Is nothing wrong with giving anything a shot but you just got to be mindful.

Answer 2

Umish674

Well when I talk to her she mature but she has a fun part of her. me and her have a lot in common and your right I shouldn't keep my hopes up and I'm considered as more mature for my age I'm a gentleman and charming my mom says that so im just going what she said but I'm not a man child I have common sense and I'm smart not that good at math but I can make good choices I maybe 6 years younger but I know how treat a woman right if she thinks I'm being a child I'll stop it because I like to tease I agree half the stuff you said so thank you for you reply

Answer 3

btbc92

Is not about you talkin to her and assume she's mature. It's a simple matter of how she behaves in her character. If she's getting upset and just because you say you want to wait. That's not maturity. That's a tantrum. A mature woman doesn't respond that way they are understanding even if they are not in agreement with it. Because when she does that she can condition you to conform to her ways. I got advice for you. Don't do it for your sake.

I was mature at that age and even I would not react that way unless I had good reason was a person. You were just being respectful and mindful. That is not the appropriate reaction from her part and you shouldn't have to tolerate that. That should automatically be a red flag.

Answer 4

btbc92

Judge a person's character. Not the personality.

Answer 5

Umish674

She might not be uncomfortable not ever women is the same. The girl I talk to has a childish side to her I don't know but I kinda like it. And about responsibility I can be responsible I'm a adult I have a job and I do my responsibility every single day

Answer 6

btbc92

That's not what I'm talking about. I am talking about her character and how her mentality is. Is nothing to do about being childish. It's about innocent. Innocence and childish is not the same. I have innocence. A person that is childish tends to be very immature. And trust me when I say it may seem cute at first but after a while and not only gets annoying, but taxing and hurtful. It can also be a sign of possible abuse in the future. Is not about so much of this being uncomfortable but whether or not if it's appropriate. You are 6 years her senior. The younger a person is the more potentiality for problems. You have to remember that she is still extremely young barely into the world of adulthood. She needs to grow a bit more first. Because she is still too young. You have to remember that your primary needs is not the same as hers. Because her priorities may not be the same as yours. Because girls like that often don't think about priorities. They think about what they can get out of a person because they want experience and want excitement.

Answer 7

btbc92

And if you don't give them what they want they can become very eccentric, Moody, and unstable. If she's taking offense just because you're caring about her welfare was going to be when it comes out to other things? She's going to start thinking that you're trying to control her when all you're trying to do is help her.

Answer 8

btbc92

It's not about every woman is the same. It's about being realistic. My focus at the age was not on some man. But to work, built-in coming experience out in the real world, and to grow and mature as a young woman and adult. I knew better not to dabble into areas I was not prepared for or shouldn't be in. Because a lot of men that are older will sadly take advantage of your naiveness and lack of experience and knowledge.

Answer 9

Umish674

So your just trying to help me not to break my heart I'll ask her seriously questions and if me and disagree on something then I'll just think about it of it's worth it or not when the time is right. I guess it just like that's song sometimes the boy never gets the girl

Answer 10

Umish674

I knew a couple that were 7 years age gap the women was older and they been married for 21 years I guess that just how it was back in the old day not anymore I guess

Answer 11

btbc92

That's not the point. You don't know her. She don't know you. It's not like you've been friends for a very long time. A few years even. You are thinking about asking a complete stranger who you are deeply infatuated with and no little to nothing about her. Of course I'm trying to help you not get your heartbroken but at the same time I don't want to see this young woman damage because she is too young. If she wants to screw her life up that's her choice. But the last thing I want to see is you being responsible for it and then you get heartbroken. Is not about the boy never gets the girl. Is a simple fact of was that something for him to be pursuing in the first place? You have to take this seriously. I never did it not once in my life and I would never put myself in such positions and I already have enough hurt. Because it's less about asking serious questions even though that is important. It's about making sure you have the right intentions and reasons with this individual and that she equally has the right intentions. Because sadly especially them they often don't. You want somebody who was on not only your mental level, but is someone around your age bracket that have the same mentality and desires you have. I'm overall the minority. You need to build a friendship with this person first. See how the individual is. See if there is compatibility. Then decide if dating is the right step and you don't rush the process. However again she is just way too young right now.

Answer 12

Umish674

I'll just let god take the wheel see what this leads

Answer 13

btbc92

No it's not that that's just how it was. Back in the day people didn't have much choice. Nowaday people have many choices so it's a simple matter of again if it's a relationship that is called by God then it will be. If the individuals are meant to be together, not being soulmates so let's not get that twisted. If they are meant to be together then it will naturally work. But it takes two willing participants to be able to do so and maturity on both ends. It takes real maturity. Them being married for 21 years proves that. And it takes a lot of work. But it can take double for a larger age Gap. And I'm telling you this out of my own parents experience and it was not healthy. You must remember that it is a rarity. It is not something that should be made a trend. But whether or not it should be at all. And I'm just telling you about as of age Gap or not she just does not sound like someone that's for you.

Answer 14

btbc92

What you should do is ask God is this the person that you should be pursuing. Is it a yes or no. That's key. Not your own will but God will. Find out God's will. That's key.

Answer 15

Umish674

So I basically being ignorant

Answer 16

btbc92

Well I'm telling you is that you need to be careful to not overstep God's desire for your life. I have seen it happen many times and even I sadly myself have done the same thing. A new way it is ignorance because some of us have not been taught. Some of us do not fully understand what is being taught what if we have. However. God wants us to rely on him for all things. You are free to make your own decisions that's what free will is about. But he also wants you to remember that he is God and God is also in control and he also knows what's best. Better than we do. Always. It's up to us to accept that or not. I warned my friends the same thing for years. You can bet it took them that long just to figure it out. Before they finally understood it and they begin developing the relationships that they desired. The Lord orders our steps. Let him be the one to order your steps. But he is the one that has the final say. But it is your choice to listen or not that's the only advice I have for you.

Answer 17

Umish674

I'll just pray about it and see if this is what god wants

Answer 18

btbc92

What I'm telling you*

Answer 19

btbc92

There you go. Now you're developing not only your spiritual and prayer life. But you're developing wisdom. And I know that God will give you the answer.

Answer 20

Umish674

I don't know anymore I'm just having a confused moment in my life I'll just dont date her I guess I'll just let god decide this just to much for me I'll just talk to god about good day

Answer 21

btbc92

Okay. The same to you. All I can say is is simply make sure this is God's Will and not yours. Is nothing wrong with giving anything a shot but you just got to be mindful.

Answer 22

talloak | 501 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

It's not common but it's not abnormal either. The age difference may not be an issue but there might be a problem in that she is likely to further along in her life goals and may want someone who has had more time pursuing their own than you could.

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