How do I stop being sad about not having a girlfriend?

[ShadezMcgee]

Bud, you are operating on a pessimistic mindset and expectations you have set for yourself that you think is the norm because odnwhatbis pushed in society. You are 20 years old... 20! You are young and have plenty of time to focus on that down the road.

Your priority as a man right now should be investing in yourself. Get a good career/job started, save your money, invest in solid friendships with both men and women, find good hobbies, hit the gym. Build yourself as a man and establish yourself as a man of value so by the time you are my age you have your shit together. Money in the bank. Good car, apartment/job, good relationships with family and friends, respected by fellow men and women. LOVE YOURSELF FIRST. Until you can do that, you can't have a girlfriend, much less maintain a relationship.

You are fixed on outcome and expectations and things out of your control. Stop being fixed on that and you will really find yourself free. Women desire men who are confident and have their shit together, men that have purpose and ambition. Men that stand their ground and don't tolerate bullshit.

I just got into my first relationship at 28, bud. I had some flings and experience along the way and learned from failure and heartbreak, but it has helped mold me into a stronger man. Focus on you and everything you desire will flock to you in time naturally, just like it should. You have to see yourself as the prize at the end of the day.

You have plenty of time. Love yourself first and build yourself into a man who can talk the talk and walk the walk, then you can start looking for women because you will have selection and understand more of what you are looking for by then.

[MAC1983]

I was 24 when I had my first physical relationship. It will not be a problem unless
A - you never had female friends and don't even know what signals the word means in a relationship context
B - you jump into an all-in, end-all-be-all, be here now rollercoaster of a toxic ride
C - you have been naked and slept with your partner a few times with no hardcore sexual contact prior to losing what you feel is your virginity, if that is even still a thing

Unless you are in ABC, or any combination thereof, just focus on getting a career and friends that matter, or deepen a hobby.

That will be infinitely more productive than going boo boo will I ever be loved?

If you are a good person, if you are kind, if you think and act strong, women will start gravitating to you anyway, and THAT is something you can work on alone

"If you don't know... Now you know!"

[spuitkaas]

20 years is super young. I know many people who never had a partner till much older. I got my first long-term relationship at 19 years. My roommate at 24 years. It's really not that odd. My mom never had a boyfriend till she met my dad late 20's.
Why do you want a girlfriend so bad? Is it so you feel more 'normal' /wanted? Do you not have enough going on in your life? Do you not get enough love from friends and family?
by the way this is really not an insult. I just notice that most people who want a partner badly want one for a underlying issue.

[cherryblossomXD]

Well first off, don't be sad. There's plenty of people out there just as lonely and single as you. Being in a relationship isn't all that it is cracked up to be. You get to do fun stuff and be lovey dovey. But you also have to deal with their issues and you relationship problems. Always have to make sure you are putting in your effort and making sure everything is alright. When you are single, you are free. When in relationship, you may be restrained by your partner from doing all the things you really want and having to comply to them at times.

[Xoxocutekitty]

Figure out why you want a girlfriend. Being lonely or wanting sex aren't reasons that will keep a healthy relationship.

Is your life stable enough to create and maintain joy, let alone create joy in someone elses life? Will you be the same place in life in 1 year? And will you be happy about it?

Figure that out and you're 50% there. Then you just gotta find someone else who has their shit together. Date because you want to find the right person, not because you want to 'get' any person.

[TheUniqueOne96]

Understand that what you've never had, you never missed, that's what I do and I apply the same logic for sex, because you don't know until you try.

It's easy to hype something up in your own head and kind of delusion yourself into thinking this is going to make you happy and whilst it may well do, if you find the right person, everyone's experience is different and until you experience it for yourself, you won't know for sure.

When I think of both relationships and sex, they sound amazing AF in my head, but what I dream of for the former, more than likely doesn't exist.

There are pros and cons in being single, versue being in a relationship, so if anything, do some research and check whether not they apply to you, even though it may be hard to compare, sometimes things just play out better in your head, just try and remember that, but if you want something, you're going to have to put yourself out there more, at least as a guy.

[Kiss_Me]

You are making a VERY common mistake about dating.

DATE does ***NOT*** equal relationship.

Who cares if particularly attracted to someone for not. Are they fun and interesting? If so, ask them out for a date. In doing so you will get lots of practice dealing with women. THEN... when the right one comes along, you will have the skills to get and keep her.
If you not real careful, you actually have some fun along the way.

[DoItMatterTho]

I know it's not what you want to hear, but you're young. Not having a relationship at your age is not a big deal.

And you said you turned down a girl who was interested. See? It's not like it's impossible for people to be into you. Cheer up, bud.

[LittleTurtleDuck]

You should 1st know what you want out of life and what defines you.
You should be able to be okay with being alone, because that means you are not depending on someone else for your own happiness. If you are able to get there than no one can take your happiness from you.

A partner should be a bonus to your life, not a life goal.

[StephenCF]

I was sad and lonely at that age too, but I found ways to evolve myself to become both attractive to girls and still happy in my own skin. My advice is simply: improve your skincare routine, dress in classic menswear that suits you (pardon the pun), and be more sophisticated by studying/participating in the arts you prefer (music, reading, writing, filmmaking, painting, etc) 💆🏻‍♂️🎩📚 Just don’t be a boring millennial/Gen Z acting, talking and dressing like your middle- or lower-class peers 🚶🏻‍♂️👎🏻

[Texaskid1]

Enjoy your freedom as a single man.

I know many married guys that would kill to be single again. I am 43 - no kids, no wife , no girlfriend... and I am as happy as can be. I enjoy the bachelor life and at this point I stopped caring about what others think.

[OddBeMe]

Because you see women as objects or just as gfs. If you saw them as friends and people you’d have a good time with them and then eventually find a girl you really like spending time with.

by the way, I didn’t lose my cherry til 20. There’s no rush.

[Anonymous]

Being in a relationship is not a necessity. I don't give a fuck anymore about being in a relationship. It doesn't pay my bills. Its an unnecessary headache for both the people involved. Why should i believe that having a girlfriend will make me happy? Why should i chase someone who will possibly reject me when it comes to dating me? I am responsible for my own happiness. To me only one thing matters and that is money. I don't give a fuck about anyone or anything else.

[Lily654]

you should stop and think more positive. Everyone finds someone someday. You are 20 right now. You still have a lot of time to find a girlfriend who you cherish and love. Some people don't even find a girlfriend or boyfriend at the age of 30.

[Drumlin2001]

The more you dwell the more it will eat away at you. Live life. Get out and meet people, experience new things. One day you'll cross paths with the right person

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Take a good look at your bank account & that should answer your question.

[zagor]

Find one. OK, wait until this covid thing subsides - yes it may be another year or more. Work on other things until then.

[Konabeana]

Don’t be sad. It doesn’t matter how attractive you are, or are not. Work on yourself. Build your priorities now so that when you do meet someone, those priorities protect you from being hurt.

[TheAfrikan]

You where not attracted to her looks or her personality and that is normal and fair.
So the road is till open for you to go out and get the one who satisfies your ego and Heart.

[Pejtu]

Play games go swimming and drink with your boyz thats all u need

[thatgirlinlove]

work hard, save some money, buy a plastic girlfriend. fill air in it and make love to her

[Unit1]

Don't sweat it. Most girls don't love men anyway. They're in love with social media.
resort to drugs, money and prostitutes. It's either that or it's nada.

[Anonymous]

i like to feel that women, not men, are the only gender that are owed or entitle to a date, relationship.

[anon1903]

By acknowleding relationships are no yellow streets of Oz and there no happy endings either lol