Is it wrong not to date super attractive women because they probably are narcissistic?

Question

Like I had a crush on one once and she rejected me and absolutely made my life miserable afterwards. It’s like she took joy in rubbing it in my face

Answer 1

Bee-Hatch | 400 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Yoda

Hate to be the one who points this out but you don't come off well in this question. Do what you like, but do it in the knowledge that you are being very judgmental.

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Answer 2

Anonymous

That is why you need to learn how to identify the early warning signs of someone who is narcissistic, as well as other toxic personality disorders. If you reject every woman that you find attractive, you may end up rejecting one with empathy.

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ColHathi

1 y
Personally, if a super attractive woman were to give me a shot, then I'd give her a chance too ofc, but... It's rough dealing with so much rejection. It's just easier to assume that it wouldn't work out if they're that attractive anyway. I might miss out on something good, but the risk is just too high. So I can understand him wanting to protect himself.
ColHathi

1 y
Which, by the way, is part of why I think we need to get over the notion that men should be the ones to approach women exclusively. It's just harmful.
Opinion Owner

1 y
I understand, but you guys need to know that it's not the appearance of a person that defines who they are on the inside. People who know I'm empathic take advantage of my kindness, they know I struggle to say no, and they know exactly how to manipulate, control and hurt me, people who don't know that I'm empathetic assume that I have a bad personality, so they don't take the time to get to know me, instead they judge me on the basis of my appearance. I have an introverted personality.
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ColHathi

1 y
No, I know. That's also why if an attractive woman approached me I'd give her a chance, but I think there's still a high chance that someone super attractive is going to be narcissistic.

What sucks more is that I don't think I'm the only one that thinks the way that I do, or that OP does, meaning the ones that are left that -will- approach super attractive people, are likely narcissistic themselves, which is when you get those people that try to manipulate, control and hurt you :/

It's just a shitty system we've got going :/ But can you really blame me for thinking the way that I do? I don't want to play this sick game, and I'm only trying to protect myself.
ColHathi

1 y
I understand that you're caught up in this too.
Opinion Owner

1 y
I understand. You are not the only one who thinks like that, it’s normal to think this way. At some point in my life, I remember feeling the same about attractive guys, I stayed away because I didn't think they would want me and I avoided pretty girls in school because I didn't think they would want to be my friend. It wasn't until I personally experienced the judgment and the hatred after I lost weight, that was when I learned that you should never judge a book by its cover.
ColHathi

1 y
:/ I'm sorry to hear that. Would you say that I'm wrong in thinking attractive people are more likely to be narcissists then?
Opinion Owner

1 y
Thank you. Honestly, I don't know, because I understand your reason, there are more people in the world who lack empathy than people with actual empathy. I have trust issues, but I also tend to trust others easily, or maybe it's considered risky behavior to get in the car with a person who has not earned my trust, and I have not earned theirs. I try to see the good in everyone even when they hurt me, but if they hurt someone I care about, I immediately stop seeing the good in them. Clearly, I'm not in a position to give any kind of advice to anyone until I seek therapy.
ColHathi

1 y
"I try to see the good in everyone even when they hurt me," Heh, I do too. Honestly you seem great :/ I wish I could get to know you more, but... I wouldn't even know where to start, and it'd probably be pointless if we're worlds apart anyway. 😩

Do you ever get to know anyone online? If you do, how do you go about that?
Opinion Owner

1 y
I will send you a message

Answer 3

ColHathi

Personally, if a super attractive woman were to give me a shot, then I'd give her a chance too ofc, but... It's rough dealing with so much rejection. It's just easier to assume that it wouldn't work out if they're that attractive anyway. I might miss out on something good, but the risk is just too high. So I can understand him wanting to protect himself.

Answer 4

ColHathi

Which, by the way, is part of why I think we need to get over the notion that men should be the ones to approach women exclusively. It's just harmful.

Answer 5

Opinion Owner

I understand, but you guys need to know that it's not the appearance of a person that defines who they are on the inside. People who know I'm empathic take advantage of my kindness, they know I struggle to say no, and they know exactly how to manipulate, control and hurt me, people who don't know that I'm empathetic assume that I have a bad personality, so they don't take the time to get to know me, instead they judge me on the basis of my appearance. I have an introverted personality.

Answer 6

ColHathi

No, I know. That's also why if an attractive woman approached me I'd give her a chance, but I think there's still a high chance that someone super attractive is going to be narcissistic.

What sucks more is that I don't think I'm the only one that thinks the way that I do, or that OP does, meaning the ones that are left that -will- approach super attractive people, are likely narcissistic themselves, which is when you get those people that try to manipulate, control and hurt you :/

It's just a shitty system we've got going :/ But can you really blame me for thinking the way that I do? I don't want to play this sick game, and I'm only trying to protect myself.

Answer 7

ColHathi

I understand that you're caught up in this too.

Answer 8

Opinion Owner

I understand. You are not the only one who thinks like that, it’s normal to think this way. At some point in my life, I remember feeling the same about attractive guys, I stayed away because I didn't think they would want me and I avoided pretty girls in school because I didn't think they would want to be my friend. It wasn't until I personally experienced the judgment and the hatred after I lost weight, that was when I learned that you should never judge a book by its cover.

Answer 9

ColHathi

:/ I'm sorry to hear that. Would you say that I'm wrong in thinking attractive people are more likely to be narcissists then?

Answer 10

Opinion Owner

Thank you. Honestly, I don't know, because I understand your reason, there are more people in the world who lack empathy than people with actual empathy. I have trust issues, but I also tend to trust others easily, or maybe it's considered risky behavior to get in the car with a person who has not earned my trust, and I have not earned theirs. I try to see the good in everyone even when they hurt me, but if they hurt someone I care about, I immediately stop seeing the good in them. Clearly, I'm not in a position to give any kind of advice to anyone until I seek therapy.

Answer 11

ColHathi

"I try to see the good in everyone even when they hurt me," Heh, I do too. Honestly you seem great :/ I wish I could get to know you more, but... I wouldn't even know where to start, and it'd probably be pointless if we're worlds apart anyway. 😩

Do you ever get to know anyone online? If you do, how do you go about that?

Answer 12

Opinion Owner

I will send you a message

Answer 13

Anonymous

Um. . . dude. You're not "not dating" super attractive women because you think they're narcissistic and you're taking a stand. You're not dating the super attractive girl because as you said she rejected you.

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