Should I go crazy, or wait for the perfect time?

So, I just finished freshman year off by meeting this girl. We met like, two months earlier at a weekly group thing, and I went every week basically just cause I knew she'd be there. I eventually friended her on FB, and asked her if she'd do lunch with me. We set it up, and went to lunch.

It was my first girl-experience, so I was pretty nervous, and I don't think I really brought my a-game, but I managed. I don't know whether this was a 'real date' or not. It turns out, she was headed home for the summer the next day, so I couldn't really set up another get-together (she lives about two hours away).

So, I sent her a text a couple days later that didn't really require a response, but I was hoping would tell me if she was actually interested in me. Here I am about four days later, so a response never came. I don't think that's a fantastic sign.

So, the question is, do I send more messages, or call her or something, or do I wait until I see her in the fall at the U? We'll be living in the same dorm, and we'll be going to that weekly club again, so I'd probably see her at least a fair deal in the fall. I'd love to start seeing her this summer, cause I don't think a two hour drive is a big deal, but I don't want to spoil my chances, or appear desperate.

She's amazing, so I don't want to learn from my mistakes on this , if possible. I'd much rather not make them. Anyhow, thanks for reading, lemme know if you have questions that might clarify things, and I'll edit.

Quadrophonic84 commented that she's probably getting a lot of attention from other guys. She should be, but I don't think she does. I particularly like her because we're both nerds, but I know at least one of my friends only found her 'ok looking'. I thought he was being a smart ass, but he insisted he was being totally serious. But I honestly find her irresistibly adorable, as well as fascinating.


Most Helpful Guy

  • This is kind of a tough call, I think; On the one hand, you don't want to be pushing too hard, especially as you're not seeing each other in person, but on the other, you don't want her to forget about you. Although, in reality, I think her seeing you when school begins again could be soon enough, and if she has really noticed you in the times you've been together, then when she sees you again, she will remember you. I think it would be okay to leave it until the fall, when you can really see her, talk to her, communicate with her possibly more easily in a closer environment, and also gauge her feelings towards you through reactions, body language, and such.


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  • If she's amazing then she's definitely getting attention from lots of other guys. They're all sending messages and trying to get her favor. My advice is not to be like them because she'll just lump you in as another one of them. Wait a month and then ask how her summer is going. Figure out a way to subtly suggest you two should meet up. Don't immediately offer to drive to her, you don't want her thinking you're willing to do anything or she'll think she's got you in her pocket (it's OK if you are in her pocket but it's bad if she knows that - they often lose interest if they know they have you).

    Just don't make it seem like you need her to respond to you. You did the right thing with your first text, in my opinion. You've gotta be the strong independent alpha guy. You'll be fine whether or not she gets with you. That's what attracts women in general.

    • Good advice, I've been trying not to seem needy and such, like you were saying, even though I do in fact adore her.