What holds you back from finding THE ONE?

Question

Answer 1

Cynicaldreamer | 3.3K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Influencer

He is an unicorn that does not exist.

I mean how hard is it to find a guy that's: geeky, intelligent, a gamer, likes to exercise and stay in shape, yet eat lots of tasty food. Is that so much to ask? Apparently so :|

Joking aside, what's holding me back? Myself. I no longer have the interest to try and pursue a relationship due to years of bad luck, chasing after the wrong guys, and having my self esteem and confidence shattered by being rejected by guys thinking I'm not attractive or girlfriend material- and no, I'm not holding that against all men before anyone goes there!

I'm just... done. At least for now.
I haven't found a reason to want to try dating again. And some of you on here, after reading about the drama and nonsense y'all face dating and on dating apps? No, I'm good. Several people on here reminded me why it's easier to stay single!

Not to mention, I've been single over a decade now. I think I've been single 13 or 14 years now. Most people think that's hard, but honestly I've been alone for now long it's hard to even picture sharing my life with another person anymore.
Do y'all know how awesome it is to be able to just: eat, sleep, play video games, travel, stay up late, and do what I want, when I want, without worrying about anyone else unless I choose to? Yes, that might sound selfish, but that's a perk of being single: I'm only responsible for myself and no one else. You don't always get that luxury in a relationship.

If I ever find "the one," he's certain in for a handful: dealing with me! LOL

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6 People

Avicenna

1 y
LOL, other than gaming, I’m your unicorn. But I understand what you’re saying.
coachTanthony

1 y
So you are saying to the UNIVERSE No thanks. No wonder I have not been successful in manifesting someone for you! You have your world of warcraft shield up block them... (face palm) ha
coachTanthony

1 y
@Avicenna Ha Ha Ha you kill me dude.
Show All Show Less
Cynicaldreamer

1 y
@coachTanthony Noo, don't go blaming me! You're over there slacking mister, "Oh you're going to meet your unicorn by the end of the year!" Yeah, I remembered... still no unicorn sir.

Okay, don't laugh but I play a warrior in Warcraft. Technically they do use shields so-
(I'm such a geek, don't judge me!)
YanTeng

1 y
To be fair... I don't know if you believe in there being parallel universes or whatnot but "the one" might not even exist in this timeline. If they did, what are the chances that you're born within the same time period?

The person who would have been "the one" for you might have been born 50 years ago, or something. A bit weird to think about
Avicenna

1 y
Coach, I think she’d enjoy a date. Dates are usually fun.
Aakash_Hangargi

1 y
Being single is easy lol, blending with people is tough and tolerating it's exhausting but it's also lovely.

Lol stop hunting unicorns and settle for horses without horns 😂🤘👰 find a good at Will person and modify him as per your wish that's what all girls do change the man 😂😂😂
Aakash_Hangargi

1 y
Offcourse with love
Cynicaldreamer

1 y
@Aakash_Hangargi "Lol stop hunting unicorns and settle for horses without horns 🤘 find a good at Will person and modify him as per your wish that's what all girls do change the man"
Now you know I like you, but I have to disagree with you here, or rather your statement. I refuse to be one of those women that tries to change a man to make him into what I want him to be! I mean sure, I could find a horse and super glue a horn on him, but would he be what I wanted? NO.

I rather find that elusive unicorn because he's authentic and not changing himself to make me happy, and vice versa. If that means being single, then I guess I'm going to be single... for a very long time, LOL

@YanTeng You know I have thought of that! I have. Who's to say the right person for me isn't born yet, or already existed and we missed each other. I tell you, sometimes life is such a conspiracy...
Aakash_Hangargi

1 y
Yup we both will be single then it's pact 😂
tjbyrd39

1 y
Very well put. I agree 100%. Plus monogamy is just fairy tail told that kids forget to forget. So when they become adults it's ingrained in their head to pursue such a silly and useless goal. I'm not saying I'm a woman-hater because I absolutely adore women. I think they're all great in their own ways. And all should feel special and needed but not by just one man.
YanTeng

1 y
@Cynicaldreamer yeah, I think fate can be cruel
DeeToPlay

1 y
The only thing that I have in the area of a critique of your statement is about the comment on self esteem. Your self esteem should be based on how you feel about you and not another person. How you feel about you. This may seem easy to many but I understand how that may seem simplified but I realized some time ago that I would not be prepared for a healthy relationship with no confidence in myself, seeking my worth through others especially a romantic partner is doomed to failure from the start. As for the attraction to have my forever partner in my life, I know that after being basically single since 2006 when my 20+ year marriage came to an abrupt ending I'm more than ready to enjoy the stability within that I feel internally with a commitment to share the responsibility for assisting someone else's happiness and comfort. I seem to thrive more successfully in life. I imagine I'm wired that way because of the fact that I was basically brought up by men. My dad and my grandfather were the largest influences in my world as a child and young man. My father still holds that position.
Cynicaldreamer

1 y
@DeeToPlay Thank you for your feedback sir. I have always had terrible self esteem, even now. It's an issue I will definitely have to work on before I even consider myself ready for a relationship again.

While I know I shouldn't let others influence my self esteem, it's hard. Growing up, I was the "ugly ducking." Guys made it clear I wasn't attractive to them, at least in a romantic sense, so of course that didn't help my self esteem either.

Obviously, as I got older, I taught not to let matters like that get to me, but the damage from my younger years left me a bit scarred. That's why I'm constantly working on improving myself: not for others, but for myself, so I can feel better about myself and boost my self esteem.

Answer 2

Avicenna

LOL, other than gaming, I’m your unicorn. But I understand what you’re saying.

Answer 3

coachTanthony

So you are saying to the UNIVERSE No thanks. No wonder I have not been successful in manifesting someone for you! You have your world of warcraft shield up block them... (face palm) ha

Answer 4

coachTanthony

@Avicenna Ha Ha Ha you kill me dude.

Answer 5

Cynicaldreamer

@coachTanthony Noo, don't go blaming me! You're over there slacking mister, "Oh you're going to meet your unicorn by the end of the year!" Yeah, I remembered... still no unicorn sir.

Okay, don't laugh but I play a warrior in Warcraft. Technically they do use shields so-
(I'm such a geek, don't judge me!)

Answer 6

YanTeng

To be fair... I don't know if you believe in there being parallel universes or whatnot but "the one" might not even exist in this timeline. If they did, what are the chances that you're born within the same time period?

The person who would have been "the one" for you might have been born 50 years ago, or something. A bit weird to think about

Answer 7

Avicenna

Coach, I think she’d enjoy a date. Dates are usually fun.

Answer 8

Aakash_Hangargi

Being single is easy lol, blending with people is tough and tolerating it's exhausting but it's also lovely.

Lol stop hunting unicorns and settle for horses without horns 😂🤘👰 find a good at Will person and modify him as per your wish that's what all girls do change the man 😂😂😂

Answer 9

Aakash_Hangargi

Offcourse with love

Answer 10

Cynicaldreamer

@Aakash_Hangargi "Lol stop hunting unicorns and settle for horses without horns 🤘 find a good at Will person and modify him as per your wish that's what all girls do change the man"
Now you know I like you, but I have to disagree with you here, or rather your statement. I refuse to be one of those women that tries to change a man to make him into what I want him to be! I mean sure, I could find a horse and super glue a horn on him, but would he be what I wanted? NO.

I rather find that elusive unicorn because he's authentic and not changing himself to make me happy, and vice versa. If that means being single, then I guess I'm going to be single... for a very long time, LOL

@YanTeng You know I have thought of that! I have. Who's to say the right person for me isn't born yet, or already existed and we missed each other. I tell you, sometimes life is such a conspiracy...

Answer 11

Aakash_Hangargi

Yup we both will be single then it's pact 😂

Answer 12

tjbyrd39

Very well put. I agree 100%. Plus monogamy is just fairy tail told that kids forget to forget. So when they become adults it's ingrained in their head to pursue such a silly and useless goal. I'm not saying I'm a woman-hater because I absolutely adore women. I think they're all great in their own ways. And all should feel special and needed but not by just one man.

Answer 13

YanTeng

@Cynicaldreamer yeah, I think fate can be cruel

Answer 14

DeeToPlay

The only thing that I have in the area of a critique of your statement is about the comment on self esteem. Your self esteem should be based on how you feel about you and not another person. How you feel about you. This may seem easy to many but I understand how that may seem simplified but I realized some time ago that I would not be prepared for a healthy relationship with no confidence in myself, seeking my worth through others especially a romantic partner is doomed to failure from the start. As for the attraction to have my forever partner in my life, I know that after being basically single since 2006 when my 20+ year marriage came to an abrupt ending I'm more than ready to enjoy the stability within that I feel internally with a commitment to share the responsibility for assisting someone else's happiness and comfort. I seem to thrive more successfully in life. I imagine I'm wired that way because of the fact that I was basically brought up by men. My dad and my grandfather were the largest influences in my world as a child and young man. My father still holds that position.

Answer 15

Cynicaldreamer

@DeeToPlay Thank you for your feedback sir. I have always had terrible self esteem, even now. It's an issue I will definitely have to work on before I even consider myself ready for a relationship again.

While I know I shouldn't let others influence my self esteem, it's hard. Growing up, I was the "ugly ducking." Guys made it clear I wasn't attractive to them, at least in a romantic sense, so of course that didn't help my self esteem either.

Obviously, as I got older, I taught not to let matters like that get to me, but the damage from my younger years left me a bit scarred. That's why I'm constantly working on improving myself: not for others, but for myself, so I can feel better about myself and boost my self esteem.

Answer 16

jennifer_bloom | 4.2K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Influencer

For me it’s either money or personality - one guy might have a good heart and body but be financially dependent on me - another guy might have money but have a bad personality - if a guy has both good qualities he is usually married or in a relationship

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Answer 17

David92506 | 269 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 7

I've frequent several dating sites, such as PlentyOfFish, and have dated several women. These women tell me their email boxes are full of men wanting to meet them. So they are in the process of filtering the men. I've always requested second dates but I never had one. The women are so busy meeting other prospects.

So what's holding me back is the lack of prospects.

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Answer 18

Reputon13

Xper 4

I think it mainly comes down to first impressions. I'm definitely more shy than I am outgoing, and I'm also not the best looking guy (I don't think I'm ugly, though). I'm very comfortable with who I am as a person (kindness, level-headedness, responsibility etc) but I need to work on putting myself out more.

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2 People

Answer 19

Desconhecida | 1.2K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Influencer

His stupid struggle to find me. Men and maps... they never ask for help!

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1 Person

Answer 20

sheamatura

Xper 3

My inability to make a move myself. I’m too worried to make a move, and ruin the friendship. We have a great thing going, but I also know the potential for that it could be.

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2 People

coachTanthony

1 y
Every time a client says that to me I respond with this. I would rather be rejected and understood then ambiguous in my actions or feelings.

Ruining a friendship or suffering in private? Hmmmm that is quite a choice to make.
sheamatura

1 y
I worry that by telling them they will suffer if they don’t feel the same way. Suffer with the awkwardness that can be created. Suffer with the fact that I just ruined our friendship. So I choose to suffer in private. I’m also an over thinker though. I always expect the worst; I think out every single possibility of what could come out of telling them.

Answer 21

coachTanthony

Every time a client says that to me I respond with this. I would rather be rejected and understood then ambiguous in my actions or feelings.

Ruining a friendship or suffering in private? Hmmmm that is quite a choice to make.

Answer 22

sheamatura

I worry that by telling them they will suffer if they don’t feel the same way. Suffer with the awkwardness that can be created. Suffer with the fact that I just ruined our friendship. So I choose to suffer in private. I’m also an over thinker though. I always expect the worst; I think out every single possibility of what could come out of telling them.

Answer 23

Ballzdeep

Xper 3

I really don’t think there is anything that would hold me back at all, I would only be in pain or discomfort for a short period of time happiness is forever everything else is temporary. Working through all that pain discomfort whatever you would like to call it, would refine me, making me a better person inside and reflect outward to the world around me.

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Answer 24

zagor | 8.4K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

Met a few who might have been the one, but procrastination has affected many aspects of my life, and that is one.

These days I'm just working on getting through the crisis and hoping family and friends stay healthy. No current social life except occasional calls and texts with them.

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Answer 25

Anonymous

My trust issues, my looks, my insecurity, my weight.

Went of 50 dates before all this covid, then tried online dating (0 matches in 5 months, that's too much right)

Yes I was desperately searching for the ONE.

I like someone too much, I fall for them too fast, then care too much, ask too much, like I suffocate.

I know I am young but I don't think relationship, love, marriage is for me.

My problem is that I think too much, like overthinking and over all. I become a toxic as my insecurity increases.

It's like an endless cycle of overthinking, and my curiosity.
Both makes my anxious and make me something I am not.
I think that it could change.
But sometimes I feel that's the reason I am surviving.

So to put it simply thinking of giving up sometimes.
But not lossing hope.
Someone some day will enter but there own will.
Like stepping into my life and making all these things magical disappeared from my life.

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2 People

Answer 26

Litza

Xper 5

One: The Pandemic
Two: Location
Three: If not these two, then I think that I probably met him already. (We can't seem to let each other go.)
Four: God, but it's temporary.

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Answer 27

BustyNeedles

Xper 1

No such thing as “the one”. There’s 7 billion people on this planet.

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2 People

coachTanthony

1 y
There are many 'ONES" for us all. True

Answer 28

coachTanthony

There are many 'ONES" for us all. True

Answer 29

PhantomMk

Xper 5

Honestly it’s me! I’m too anxious too initiate the relationship maybe I’ll get over this fear someday.

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Answer 30

JSmuve | 3K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

Having my opportunities limited to do so, whether that's due to covid shuttering everything or my life circumstances not putting me in positions where I could reasonably meet the type of women I'd be interested in.

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1 Person

Answer 31

Cowboy6666 | 3.8K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

I am trying my best to find the right girl/lady for me, its just the distance for now that is holding me back i have talked with few girls but they from other continents, so they usually lost interest otherwise I am willing to settle down with a girl

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Answer 32

Newhead | 164 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 7

They keep casting spells on my money and keeping me in the house, no cap.

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Answer 33

Shark_61695 | 340 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Yoda

Me...

I meet so few women, talk to even fewer and hide my feelings if I find someone attractive.

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Answer 34

starlight14

Xper 4

Trauma from ex's before that constantly informed me of all the things that are "wrong" with me. Making you feel as though you will never be good enough for anyone to the point where ya believe it.

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3 People

Answer 35

A1513

Xper 5

I live in the Deep South and am gay. So it’s hard to find someone in person. Plus, the attitude towards gay people here is very different from other places.

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Answer 36

Liam_Hayden

Guru

I am held back by an utter lack of belief in the very idea of "The One." With billions of women on the planet there are, conservatively, at least 100K who would meet my standards.

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Answer 37

taeh_ie2 | 143 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 7

Nothing is holding me back. by choice. I would rather focus on my mental health and Goals right now.

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3 People

Answer 38

ConnorJHutton531

Xper 5

Probably the notion that there is a perfect ‘one’ for me, it at least a girl who is EVERYTHING I would want in a girlfriend; when really, that probably doesn’t exist. But hey, no one is perfect and that’s okay.

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1 Person

Answer 39

YanTeng

Xper 4

There's already an impossibly low probability of finding the one, right? Or so I've heard anyway. Combine that with the fact that I'm not actively searching since I'm pretty happy being single, and that pretty much pushes it to zero

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1 Person

Answer 40

SavageGirl101 | 401 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Explorer

Cause everyone doesn’t want to find “The one” and isn’t meant 2 not everyone is fit to be in a relationship

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JHNS98

1 y
That might be true. Not to be like that, but do you include yourself in that category?
SavageGirl101

1 y
Nope

Answer 41

JHNS98

That might be true. Not to be like that, but do you include yourself in that category?

Answer 42

SavageGirl101

Nope

Answer 43

I-have-a-biscuit | 202 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 6

We playing hide and seek bro, I'd be cheating if she told me where she is

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