Many Scars From My Past Make Relationship Impossible?

Question

Because of issues in my past from domestic issues, car crashes, emergency surgeries and workplace injuries I have around 80% of my body is covered in scars.

So if I were to take my shirt off in front of my girlfriend will it just scare her senseless or will it be uncomfortable.

I’m already pretty self conscious about them because some of those injuries are associated with traumatic events I just don’t want a girls]friend to freak out. When she see me all tore up

Answer 1

mindNsoul

Explorer

The only man I loved in my entire life and stayed with over a decade was severely burned as a child. His entire chest, shoulders and arms except of his hands. he was scarred all over and going through puberty the scars caused his chest to develop asymmetrically and body hair to grow irregularly.

I still did love him ginuinely. It never bothered me and I was very attracted to him physically throughout the course of our relationship. But it did bother him and he never wore anything without a collar, with short sleeves, took his shirt off or swam on public. He went to the beach fully covered. He thought of plastic surgery. But due to the large surface area and the severity of the burns it was not warth the pain and the risk. At least from my prospective. Because he was handsome in my eyes.

The reason I mentioned all that to simply show you that beauty truly is in the eyes of the beholder. And if a woman loves you trust m having scars won't make her second question your value as a man.

And when it comes to scaring her let me say this. My ex for months didn't tell me about his scars and I did not think anything of it. I just thought he was conservative or shy. That he was always fully covered like that. And the way he thought best to tell me was by inviting me over, holding my hands and asking me to sit down on the floor facing him. He was nervous and just took his shirt off. Mind you I had no clue whatsoever not even a hint. I didn't even ask to see his chest or anything. But later he told me he was so scared and couldn't say it and just thought it is better to rip the bandage off. He was very worried that I will be scared or angry or worst leave him. But my reflex was to embrace him and hug him. To kiss him and say nothing. I didn't even worry about it or show curiosity or fear. I just felt love and the desire to embrace him. He whispered in my ears 'aren't you scared of me?' and I said why? he pushed me a way gently and said because I am disfigured. I said all I see is 'you' and all I can feel now is love. I kissed his scars and touched them and he hugged me again. And proceeded to tell me about his burns. I teard a bit. Because I felt his pain. And I held his hand and place it on my heart. I said to him my heart is your home and it will never ever cause you pain. The whole world might hurt you but not me.

This brings a lot of memories happy and sad. But grace and compassion is all what love is about. No woman would be scared of some scars. You warth more than that. Your value as a man is in your heart, mind, values, actions, and beliefs. It is in many things and your looks is not everything.

Hope this shows you that it bothers you more than it would bother a woman who loves you 🌹

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