Serious dating advice?

Question

I am dating a guy for 3 years now and I thought we were pretty serious, we even moved in together in an apartment but after 3 years of being in a relationship I found out he was on all of these dating apps and sites, should I stay with him?

Answer 1

Bella_Iris

Xper 5

You should ABSOLUTELY NOT STAY WITH HIM. That would be absolutely infuriating if I found my boyfriend of 3 YEARS on dating websites! But also, I think you should consider... is he still active on them? I mean if these accounts are still up then maybe he is seeing other people behind your back? I'd talk about it with him. If he denys it. I'd leave him. Not to mention all the time you wasted... hoping he was the one :/ I'm so sorry.

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2 People

rose_xoxo

1 y
Your right, he showed me his tinder but the other ones he said he didn't want to show me and I had no right to see it. And gets mad because I keep bringing it up because I'm so hurt, all this time I really did think he was the one... but im starting to think, if he does it thoughtout the 3 years we were together, there is no doubt he will do it again..
rose_xoxo

1 y
And I've gotten so emotionally involved that it makes it so much harder and maybe it makes me a little blind...
Bella_Iris

1 y
No right to see it? oh my god!!! THATS UGHH! SO FRUSTRATING! YOU OFCOURSE HAVE A RIGHT! I feel you with the part of keep bringing it up but he only gets mad. Yeah, I'd leave him. I know it will be hard but in this new year... I'd take the time to reevaluate what YOU WANT and focus on you for some good while before getting into another relationship. These guys with dating apps? like really? so out of control. All the best luck to you :') You'll make it.
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rose_xoxo

1 y
I have been thinking about it since June... and not im always anxious and always looking over his shoulder... and my gut it telling me to break up with him but my heart still wants to hold on... its going to hurt like a bit** when I break up with him.
rose_xoxo

1 y
Always anxious*
Bella_Iris

1 y
yeah, I know exactly what you mean. Your heart is telling you to hold on but your gut is telling you to break up. I'd listen to your gut even though it's going to be hard. But think about it this way... would you want to be with a guy that is potentially cheating on you and going behind your back and telling you you don't have a RIGHT to see the profiles? Is that how you want to be treated? I 100% believe you deserve better.
rose_xoxo

1 y
Aw thank you so much for your advice, :) u definaly helped me a lot. I do know there is better for there for me, I am just stuck, with no friends really and no parents and family for advice, sadly. But honestly ty so much! Xoxo
Bella_Iris

1 y
I'm so glad that I was able to help you!! Yeah, I don't have that many friends (lol I mean like maybe 1) but I don't see her all the time. I understand that you need a support system. I just suggest doing what you want and definitely NOT EVER EVER EVER going back to him! Even if he comes back after a few weeks (of missing you). Pffffft. do NOT go back. Be safe :) Keep your thoughts positive. none of this was your fault.

Answer 2

rose_xoxo

Your right, he showed me his tinder but the other ones he said he didn't want to show me and I had no right to see it. And gets mad because I keep bringing it up because I'm so hurt, all this time I really did think he was the one... but im starting to think, if he does it thoughtout the 3 years we were together, there is no doubt he will do it again..

Answer 3

rose_xoxo

And I've gotten so emotionally involved that it makes it so much harder and maybe it makes me a little blind...

Answer 4

Bella_Iris

No right to see it? oh my god!!! THATS UGHH! SO FRUSTRATING! YOU OFCOURSE HAVE A RIGHT! I feel you with the part of keep bringing it up but he only gets mad. Yeah, I'd leave him. I know it will be hard but in this new year... I'd take the time to reevaluate what YOU WANT and focus on you for some good while before getting into another relationship. These guys with dating apps? like really? so out of control. All the best luck to you :') You'll make it.

Answer 5

rose_xoxo

I have been thinking about it since June... and not im always anxious and always looking over his shoulder... and my gut it telling me to break up with him but my heart still wants to hold on... its going to hurt like a bit** when I break up with him.

Answer 6

rose_xoxo

Always anxious*

Answer 7

Bella_Iris

yeah, I know exactly what you mean. Your heart is telling you to hold on but your gut is telling you to break up. I'd listen to your gut even though it's going to be hard. But think about it this way... would you want to be with a guy that is potentially cheating on you and going behind your back and telling you you don't have a RIGHT to see the profiles? Is that how you want to be treated? I 100% believe you deserve better.

Answer 8

rose_xoxo

Aw thank you so much for your advice, :) u definaly helped me a lot. I do know there is better for there for me, I am just stuck, with no friends really and no parents and family for advice, sadly. But honestly ty so much! Xoxo

Answer 9

Bella_Iris

I'm so glad that I was able to help you!! Yeah, I don't have that many friends (lol I mean like maybe 1) but I don't see her all the time. I understand that you need a support system. I just suggest doing what you want and definitely NOT EVER EVER EVER going back to him! Even if he comes back after a few weeks (of missing you). Pffffft. do NOT go back. Be safe :) Keep your thoughts positive. none of this was your fault.

Answer 10

Alyssa11

Yoda

Have you confronted him? Perhaps see what he has to say first to honour those three years, and then make a decision from there.

All I'm going to say is, a man who isn't seriously committed to you after three years is a waste of time.

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1 Person

Answer 11

Bad_Man55

Yoda

Is he active on these sites or are they left over from when he was single?

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1 Person

rose_xoxo

1 y
It shows on phone he was actively using them and there were monthly subscriptions:/
rose_xoxo

1 y
It showed on Google play that he had bought a Google play card and paid on purpose for those subscriptions all throughout the relationship...
Bad_Man55

1 y
That's a red flag for sure. If you are who he wants to be with then he should not be active on dating sites. If he is keeping his options open and fresh then he feels you are not the final destination for him
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rose_xoxo

1 y
He said he was just "curious" and he showed me he wasn't talking to anyone but I feel like that it doesn't matter whether he was or not. And he only showed me 1 dating app he was active on, the other ones he wouldn't show me...
Bad_Man55

1 y
Admission and transparency of a small transgression is indicative of a bigger secret

Answer 12

rose_xoxo

It shows on phone he was actively using them and there were monthly subscriptions:/

Answer 13

rose_xoxo

It showed on Google play that he had bought a Google play card and paid on purpose for those subscriptions all throughout the relationship...

Answer 14

Bad_Man55

That's a red flag for sure. If you are who he wants to be with then he should not be active on dating sites. If he is keeping his options open and fresh then he feels you are not the final destination for him

Answer 15

rose_xoxo

He said he was just "curious" and he showed me he wasn't talking to anyone but I feel like that it doesn't matter whether he was or not. And he only showed me 1 dating app he was active on, the other ones he wouldn't show me...

Answer 16

Bad_Man55

Admission and transparency of a small transgression is indicative of a bigger secret

Answer 17

Sam_The_Savage | 595 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Yoda

That's the new normal
You will never find guy who doesn't have account in dating app. I bet.

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2 People

rose_xoxo

1 y
even when he is in a 3 year relationship and moved in with me?
Sam_The_Savage

1 y
Everything is temporary.
Nothing is permanent. Eventually everything get bored at some time

Answer 18

rose_xoxo

even when he is in a 3 year relationship and moved in with me?

Answer 19

Sam_The_Savage

Everything is temporary.
Nothing is permanent. Eventually everything get bored at some time

Answer 20

awanti95

Guru

You should go ahead

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Answer 21

colin77 | 301 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 7

Nope...

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1 Person

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