What do you say to a guy that texted you for a booty call and you DON'T want to be a booty call?

[zeitgeist057]

I'd just let him know you aren't awake at those hours or that you settle in and don't use your phone after (_____) .

I'm a nox shift worker, so I'm often up between 11pm and 7 am. It would be fun to have someone to text, but I know most people are asleep so nbd if someone lets me know they are a normal person who sleeps those hours.

My assumption is the guy is shy and only gets the courage to text you after drinking. That might be a flag in itself, but also maybe you can communicate and work it out.

[Ozanne]

One of two things:

1. You tell him, and things either improve or he decides he's not looking for anything other than a booty call. You risk losing him, but then again, was he worth losing if that's all he's about? That, or he respects that you want more, and realizes he was moving too fast and that he does want to get to know more of you.

2. You don't tell him, and you either succumb to his wants and needs, leaving you feeling empty and hurt most times, as this usually leads to the dreaded Friends With Benefits situation, or else he just keeps you a secret altogether - OR you ignore, therefore removing any further contact both verbal and physical.

I would say Option 1 is best as you may just luck out and have him see what he's doing to you is not what you want allowing him to come around. Or, you see him for what he is very early before you get really snowed by him.

[lilyanony1]

Nothing. If you like Ice cream and he likes nuts but you have an allergic reaction to nuts and he keeps giving them to you despite you telling him you can't have them as you could die.
Would you keep taking the nuts? In fact would you even keep seeing this person or write them off as a threat to your health/life?

It's not as serious as life and death but the bottom line is you want a and he wants b. They don't match.
You could play the long game of waiting or trying to convince him to like a or joinh him in liking b.
But will this bring you happiness?

I hate saying this but you only live once.
Why try and force someone to your way of life and thinking in regards to the heart when finding a genuine fit is actually so effortless when it actually happens.

The decisions ultimately yours but Yea this seems like a headache and a waste of time tbh.

[nothathrowawayy]

I'm much younger compared to a majority of the people here, and I don't got much exp. but I'll try to help. Be upfront with him. Don't play games. State your intentions, and what you want out of the relationship. If he only wants you for sex, he'll just walk away/ghost you, cuz he's a horny bastard.

If he understands, then good on you, you're seeing a patient person who cares about you, and what you're ready to do, and is in it to make a lasting relationship long-term. If that's the case, he's just hinting what he wants but will respect that you're not ready for sex just yet.

[btbc92]

What do you mean what do you say? This is just common sense. If you're no man's bedwench then you'll get rid of the guy! You going to like somebody that doesn't respect you? Then you must not respect yourself. If you have low self-esteem that's why you get men who is attracted to controlling and using and abusing you is anybody got a chance. You don't settle for any of that stuff. And you can't just like somebody like that anyway. Anybody that disrespects me is out of my life. I don't just invite anybody in my life like that for good reason. And if God warns me about a person, I do not paper add myself to be foolish to overstep.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

You say goodbye to someone you say you told him you don't want to be a booty call and he still tries anyway... That shows double disrespect, that he just sees you as a booty call being the 1st, and that he can't respect your feelings about it being the second, so why stick around for even more disrespect?

[BigHomieNasty]

Tell him “I only play for keeps”.


This will signal that you are interested in him, but only with the intent of commitment.


Afterwards you should have a direct conversation with him about how that makes you feel. You can’t blame him until you attempt to correct him on this one. He may think you want it too.



Glad to help with your question though! Send me a follow and Feel free to reach out to me if I can be of more assistance!


IG: BigHomieNasty
YT: Big Homie Nasty

[midnightmoon05]

This is a good opportunity to know if he wants you as girlfriend or. It... and learn to communicate your wants.

”I had so much fun out with you. Love to do that again. I really like you and want to get to know you. Take things a bit slow before getting sex involve... till we are in a committed relationship otherwise it will get way too messy... sweet dreams. Phone off”
good luck

[jshm2]

Kiddo, it's clear he's just playing around with you or just hasn't got a clue

Not being "sure" at the first date is inexperienced, at second date, is just wasting your time.

Both of you need to buck up your ideas and learn how to play the game properly.

[Am_and_Pm]

A lot of females (just about every single one), said to ghost the guy. Now, I'm having second thoughts on treating u lady's with respect. However. The guy did come off as 'rude'. And did not make his intentions clear to begin with. So, lady's, gentlemen, Andy... ghost him.

[lordskull69]

tell him you like him in a more serious way and you'd rather not be seen a an easy midnight booty call to him. Rather you want him to like you but also respect you as a perron and also maybe that you'd love to get more intimate with him and you even considered taking him up on the midnight call but you're not like that,,,,

[scorpy04]

You tell him straight Laws were made to protect you like SEXUAL ASSAULT OR RAPE You must never ever be pressued into doing something you feel uncomfortable with Even if its just you don't want to If you mean something at all to him He should respect your wishes If he doesn't then his just a nude collector He may even sell them and you end up on a porn or escourt site

[Leah501]

I can’t help you on this one. Lately any guys I’ve been interested in aren’t looking for relationships and just want to sleep around.

[robertKugler]

As opposed to showing up at your place and demanding u fuck him again.. maybe penciling him in at a later date when making critical decisions like this are more likely lean in his favour you needing a moment to get over your self logic dictates voting in favour of a reign check no harm no foul play ball

[keenmind2007]

Tell him straight up that you're not looking to be a booty call. You want something serious and that's not rocking your boat. If he has problems with your stance, then find someone else who can deliver what you want.

[MecheD]

Well if anything I’d say you can tell him you’re not interested in that sort of relationship he is offering and depending on his answer choose whether or not you would like to move on or not. The other way I’d say just only text him throughout the day until he’s earned the right to speak with yiu during those hours.

[MzAsh]

I would be tempted to ghost his ass and move on. But you could also give him another chance and set him straight. Text him tomorrow and say “Just got your text. I don’t take calls or texts after 9 pm (or whatever time you go to bed). Let me know when you’re free during the day for an actual date.” A more blunt approach would be simply “You must have mistaken me for that kind of girl but I don’t do booty calls.”

[Screenwriter]

Stop texting me at midnight. I'm not interested in being a booty call! Straight up. Might be better if you don't hear from him again. Looks like that might be all he wanted.

[Elsa143]

Ghost him. I wish it was simple to tell guys like him fuck off but it will lead to fights and grudges.
A strong woman will stay alone rather than letting a guy use her as a sex toy or an orgi stimulator. Kick him out.
Horny guys need to leave good women alone and if they're so proud of their masculinity then why don't they work hard enough to hire prostitutes? Biggest Simps they're.

[SaraSmithishere]

Just ignore it for now. Ask to meet up again during the day. Pick a date that he normally spends with friends or relaxing, like a Saturday. If he doesn’t want to give up one of his “prime” days to spend with you, stop taking and move on.

[Bee-Hatch]

If you know the family, screen shot it and forward to his mother. It'll solve your problem and teach him a bit about respect.

[Annieee18]

Tell him the truth that you're not up for that yet. And if he left, it's his loss. But if he respected you and patiently waited, then congratulations on finding someone like him. :)

[Flower7]

If you feel that he only sees you as a booty call, it would be best to just not respond to him anymore.

[Sarahr123]

Depends what he says. Maybe he is only free at that time. If he talks clean then it’s fine but if he talks dirty then you block him.