Is he cheating - Help?

Question

I've been dating my boyfriend for almost three months; we met on a dating app. We spent the holidays together on a road trip, which was amazing, and things have been good. We are supposedly exclusive, spend almost every night together, and our kids get along. We both have some baggage from past relationships, but so far we have been able to work through things and haven't had any major problems.
Last night I got an email from a woman who said that she has been communicating with him on another dating app, and that she just found out about me from a mutual facebook friend. She sent me a screenshot of their conversation and said that once she confronted him about having a girlfriend, he stopped responding and then his profile disappeared. Sha also said she has seen his profile on two other sites. The conversation is just small talk; nothing sexual or even trying to meet in person.
My boyfriend says that he is being framed, that the profiles aren't his, and that he has not been talking to any other women (the conversation is fake). He completely denies all of it. The pictures used in the profiles are on his facebook page and/or instagram, but both of those are set to "friends only" or "private". But all of the information is spot-on him, including that he doesn't drink which just happened recently.
Should I believe him? I don't want to keep seeing him if he is still shopping around, and that wouldn't be good for my kids either.

Updates:

9 d

Today I got an anonymous letter in the post with my address listed as the recipient and the return address. It said my boyfriend has a history of treating women poorly, and looking for new girlfriends before he breaks up with the old one. It also said he was online talking to women. Finally, it referred to my recent divorce how hard it was for my kids and I (whoever sent it knows something about that situation). The writer said they didn't want telling me to negatively impact our relationship.

7 d

Second update. Today I got a facebook message with screenshots of a conversation he supposedly had with a woman (the woman he says is framing him) where he set up a lunch date. We only see each other in the evenings.

Answer 1

SueShe | 1.6K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Influencer

I do not believe a second that a person that is on a dating site will remove his/her profile the second he/she finds a partner.

We all know what those dating portals are all about. A great number of times, people have multiple accounts on various dating sites just because the main aim on those sites is to hookup. That is unfortunately the culture of our society that places sex above everything else in life.

I cannot imagine that someone would go those lengths to attempt to frame an anonymous person. Since I am not on any social media, I am not aware of the signification of the terms "friends only" or "private".

I personally would not believe a person that has a profile on a dating site to be honest. It just does not match with the hook up mentality of those that have profiles on them.

For those that are a little proficient with computer technology, there are ways to check the owner of the profiles.

Answer 2

Adam1978 | 495 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Yoda

Frameing someone on the internet is really easy, any jealous person can setup something you say within hours. So the possibility that he isn't lies is there. Unless it contains information that wasn't already out there, you can't see if it's a fake profile or a real one. You need to dig deeper and determine who is lying. If it happens to be just conversations, I wouldn't make big deal out of it. It's common to keep your options open in the beginning in a relationship, because that is when most relationships fails. If you haven't agreed to be exclusive he hasn't done something wrong. If you meet someone on a dating app you should count on that there will be a handful other people in the same loop as you. These people don't just disappear as soon as you go on a date or a road trip. The difference between a good guy and a bad is that they good guy will cut the rest out when he feels he made a good choice and have something to keep. While the bad keeps replacing and hockup short term.

Answer 3

william_wizard

Xper 4

He says he's being framed... but has he tried to figure out who is framing him?
If his FB and insta are private then it's likely someone he knows. So if he's being framed to make it look like he's talking to a bunch of women I'd think he would be trying to find out who it is and/or reaching out to these sites to get the fake profiles taken down.

And also, if he was being framed, why is the person framing him only having casual, small talk conversations?
You'd think if someone was framing him they'd be trying to ruin his reputation as much as possible.

Seems kinda suspicious to me.

Asker

11 d
He says he is trying to figure it out. He talked to his ex girlfriend but decided it wasn't her. I don't know if he can get the site to take down the fake profiles because he can't prove they are fake? The one is already gone. I want to believe him, but I don't know.
Asker

11 d
Also, his ex isn't his friend on FB and she doesn't follow him on Instagram, so I don't know how she would have gotten the pictures.
william_wizard

11 d
It's tough to say. My gut would naturally go to thinking that he's not being framed. It just seems too tame. You'd think if someone was using someone else's pictures to catfish on the internet, they'd at least try to get some nudes or sext or something. Creating fake profiles just to have casual small talk just seems too weird to be the case.

Answer 4

Asker

He says he is trying to figure it out. He talked to his ex girlfriend but decided it wasn't her. I don't know if he can get the site to take down the fake profiles because he can't prove they are fake? The one is already gone. I want to believe him, but I don't know.

Answer 5

Asker

Also, his ex isn't his friend on FB and she doesn't follow him on Instagram, so I don't know how she would have gotten the pictures.

Answer 6

william_wizard

It's tough to say. My gut would naturally go to thinking that he's not being framed. It just seems too tame. You'd think if someone was using someone else's pictures to catfish on the internet, they'd at least try to get some nudes or sext or something. Creating fake profiles just to have casual small talk just seems too weird to be the case.

Answer 7

Hangry22 | 731 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

He is cheating and lying to you rn. Try to check his phone

Answer 8

Avicenna | 8.2K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

The real concern here is whether he is lying, because if he is, it's irrelevant whether he has physically cheated yet

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