Help! Struggling with virginity, faith and family 🧕🏾?

I'm 22 almost 23 yr old virgin, im struggling with the morality involved in it and body issues that come from leaving a strict faith (islam) I am now an atheist. i spent the majority of my life very covered up even if i dont think I'm bad looking i still have PTSD from it because ultimately my life decision will make my family and everyone turn against me and that is something that has made it hard to move on from since 17. I tried being a bit outlandish (3 times wearing hijab covered up but makeup and 1 time letting my hair out) not going all the way but each time the amount of male attention I got really overwhelmed me and scared me off, I live in the west but grew up in a very religious community does anyone have any advice i don't want to be disowned, i love my family but also want to comfortably live life and possibly marry an atheist in the future if anything and not forced to be with a muslim man?
Help! Struggling with virginity, faith and family 🧕🏾?
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