Is it a Red Flag if the Girl I am dating doesn't want to hear a song I wrote for her?

[KaibeGurl]

Looking at some of your other responses to people's advice I see you said she takes medication for a mental illness? Does she talk with you about it because it sounds a lot like how one of my sisters was in relationships. When she was doing fine" as she said she was very affectionate, considerate (sometimes to her own detriment), cooked for the guy, cleaned, bought him things, stayed over all the time, etc. On the flip side, when she was not "doing fine" she'd get withdrawn, angry and annoyed at little things, think anything said was a criticism of her, when he tried to do something nice she'd reject it regardless of what it was. My sister has Bipolar Depression and was always looking to be in a relationship when she was feeling good but would let it implode when she wasn't. For the past year I think she's found a partner she's more comfortable with because she actually talks about what's going on with her with him. He's been to therapy sessions with her and I think he's helping her to "normalize" her illness just like a physical illness would be.
Now I don't know this woman and literally am basing this off of the original post and some of your comments but just thought this might be helpful.

[Account]

Not necessarily. If she suffers from anxiety, that can explain her behaviour.
I won't go into details for personal reasons, but she might think she has to reach certain expectations she thinks you might have of her.
By listening to the song, she might feel immense pressure, so she decides not to do so in order to protect herself/her own sanity.

It is hard to explain, but what I am trying to say is that is not necessarily a red flag.

[hahahmm]

Reasons why she might not want to hear the song:
A. She just fakes caring about you and feels guilty that you value her more than she values you.
B. She has VERY VERY deep insecurities and doesn't feel worthy of you doing something like this for her.
C. She actually hates your music but wanted to brag to others that she bagged a musician. Assuming you do public gigs.
D. She fakes lots of her emotions and just doesn't feel like faking the crying right now.
E. She really feels sad when she hears your songs and doesn't want to feel that again.

Bottom line is that she's probably on 10 different psych meds or should be.

[OlderAndWiser]

Some women are embarrassed about crying in the presence of a man. I wrote a song and sang it to my wife at our wedding. I had to sing the song to her every night for three months so that she would not cry at our wedding.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Honestly it's a red flag you even wrote her a song.
My fiancée too used to write me poems, that crap is creepy as hell.

[adder121]

after reading about her possible mental illness in the comments, i would probably ask her if she’s doing alright / being open to talking about it. (i’m not sure how much you already know about her mental health or even if you’re guessing her diagnosis.) with that said, tell her that if she’s comfortable opening up then you would like to hear more about it, no judgement or shame involved. you could also simply ask her why she didn’t want to listen to your song and that it made you feel like she wasn’t interested in you. she may not have even realized it hurt your feelings / it came across as a red flag. i suffer with anxiety and can picture myself feeling extremely shy / vulnerable if someone who i haven’t known for a long time said they wrote a song about me. i’d probably get nervous and start laughing and keep declining to hear the song as a fight or flight response. i’m sure it doesn’t make much sense, but in the moment i wouldn’t think i was doing anything wrong (just trying to protect myself & that it wasn’t a big deal.) however, if you bring it to her attention, hopefully she’ll be aware that it was an abnormal response and she can provide clarity. i’m not trying to make any excuses for her, but personally i can see why she’d react that way. it takes me a long time to open up to someone / become comfortable with someone. so if you and i were only seeing each other for a month and you wrote a song about me, i might have a panic response. (nothing against you or the song at all! i would just need some time to myself to reflect on the situation and probably ask to hear the song in a couple days after i realized i had an unusual reaction & apologize to you.) good luck!

[SnowyOwl]

I think that you have obviously shared those things because it makes you happy to do so and having her react that way probably feels a bit like rejection. I also imagine this is a way for you to show affection (tbh I find it really sweet).

So If you were feeling upset or rejected or unhappy, maybe you should gently bring up the fact and discuss your feelings with her. If you really hope to share the song you wrote her tell her that nothing will make you happier, and that you are there to hug her if she gets emotional.. Maybe ask her why is she perhaps afraid of getting emotional?

Make sure that you are not judging her when she opens up, and let her know that its safe for her to open up with you and that you will not judge and that you will try to understand.

In sum, communicate the issue. Its the most effective thing you can do. Just be gentle about it and it should go smoothly (:
Good luck!

[flamiE]

She has cried before so I wouldn’t say it’s a red flag. She sounds like someone who’s very fragile emotionally so I could see how hearing a song about her could make her cry. About the story, is the story about her too? Or did she know what’s it about? Maybe when she found out what the topic is she decided to not read it cause that could make her emotional too? Just a wild guess.

[1031ent]

You are lucky she hasn't ghosted you.

First off if you did write the song don't tell her it was for her. Just sing the freaking song. Then afterwards if she liked it just smile at her and say you had a bit of inspiration. This will leave her thinking she might be the inspiration but not 100% sure.

Don't hunt her down like a animal in the wild. Leave bread crumbs and let her come to you.

[iseekpinetrees]

She doesn't sound interested in your interests. I'd dump her. I felt this way before I dated a musician he was into death metal I definitely am not. Tried to get me to go to a show with him n I was not interested instantly I knew we would not work out because I didn't want to give in to that. Loud shit is not for me.

[pigoat]

The way you described your girlfriend is the way my mom is with friends and when she is in a rare relationship

All i know is her relationships don't last so this doesn't look good

[araeyahlove]

normally i would say A but the way its worded is wrong. depending on how long you've been together and the circumstances around her previous relationships i wouldn't make her feel like she as to reciprocate those feelings yet

[icequeen03]

It could mean a lot. Maybe she's losing interest, maybe she isn't comfortable with that YET. It could be a bad experience she's bad with a lady boyfriend who wrote her a song or something similar

[MecheD]

If music is you’re niche or a sense of release anyone worth keeping would live to enjoy that with you if anything though just ask for reassurance. If what you hear from her doesn’t make sense than move on. Life’s to short for the bs.

[R3DthatDude]

It doesn’t sound like she dislikes your music, she actually sounds like she is to sensitive. Probably more upbeat songs would be best.

[WesBrewer]

Sometimes you don't want to hear music, or you just aren't very good at it and she doesn't want her ears to bleed.

[Paris13]

Maybe things are Going too Fast Forward. Slow it Down. xx

[dreamstar72]

Could be the song/singer. We all have different taste.

[Vetis]

What i've heard is that women are insulted when they're given big gifts. They feel you're trying to obligate them. Personally i would feel really pressured if someone wrote a song about me, and wanted to enthusiastically play it for me...

[Anonymous]

100% red flag. BHAHAHA Sorry for laughing but she's mean OMG!

[pikachu337]

Loool... Its the first time I am seeing a Poll in a pure 50-50 stage after voting...
haha

[siseñor]

maybe she wants to break up w u but u writing a song about her ties her down? proly not tho

[genericname85]

not everyone likes having songs written about them.

[tHISpLACEiSbONKERZ]

She just didn't want you to see her get emotional... Why would this be a red flag you tard?