Do you stay friends with a person that knows you’re crushing on someone and they decide to try and get with them?

Question

Answer 1

btbc92

Influencer

Oh heck no. NO. I don't want manipulators. That's not a friend, that's a desperate opportunitist.

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Asker

1 y
I agree with you 100%. He always hears me talking about her and for him to do that is betrayal. On the other hand she might like him and not like me so he doesn’t owe me anything
btbc92

1 y
Sorry I misread the question. Your friends. That doesn't mean you don't respect the girl or his choices. If she picks him, it's her choice there isn't much you can do. Your friendship shouldn't die unless it was never a friendship in the first place. Healthy friends respect each other and love each other. Isn't he like a brother to you?
Asker

1 y
He isn’t really a brother. He is more like a casual work friend. Besides work we don’t really spend time together
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btbc92

1 y
Then why are you worried about somebody whom I guess is you both crushing on a co-worker? You don't date coworkers anyway.
Asker

1 y
I worry about everything honestly.
What is wrong with dating coworkers?
btbc92

1 y
Well for plenty of reasons you don't date complete strangers with who your friends with:

1. EVERYBODY knows your business, and many people are there to work not date. And if anything friends come last on the list.
2. What is going on, especially sexually is no much of a secret. Everybody is going to know and all of your business becomes like High school. Workplace gossip can jeopardize your work reputation.
3. If HR has rules against workplace relationships, and you can't date, that's already a problem.
4. You don't know a person enough as a friend, to even date. You can make somebody uncomfortable. Hense workplace sexual harassment, or harassment period.
5. If that relationship doesn't last, again, everybody begins to know it, and it can affect your work performance and relations with others on your floor, department, etc.
6. If she says no, again, EVERYBODY is bound to know, and then you're going to have a miserable work life because of the rejection. I know. Been through it as the rejector. Guy left about a week later. One of my friends has had a similar issue. Only lasted 2 weeks, by the next day of the breakup, acted like she never existed. People started questioning but she had to push through regardless of workplace gossip. But he surely made sure he didn't exist because of it.
7. Every problem you face in the relationship 2x.

Get to know her as a friend first, or just ask her out. But don't be surprised by some things. Again, this isn't college or even high school. This is work. You paid to work overall. You build relationships with others, but you don't force dating like it's expected. Every person is not interested in that or welcome that. You need to make sure a person wants that.

Answer 2

Asker

I agree with you 100%. He always hears me talking about her and for him to do that is betrayal. On the other hand she might like him and not like me so he doesn’t owe me anything

Answer 3

btbc92

Sorry I misread the question. Your friends. That doesn't mean you don't respect the girl or his choices. If she picks him, it's her choice there isn't much you can do. Your friendship shouldn't die unless it was never a friendship in the first place. Healthy friends respect each other and love each other. Isn't he like a brother to you?

Answer 4

Asker

He isn’t really a brother. He is more like a casual work friend. Besides work we don’t really spend time together

Answer 5

btbc92

Then why are you worried about somebody whom I guess is you both crushing on a co-worker? You don't date coworkers anyway.

Answer 6

Asker

I worry about everything honestly.
What is wrong with dating coworkers?

Answer 7

btbc92

Well for plenty of reasons you don't date complete strangers with who your friends with:

1. EVERYBODY knows your business, and many people are there to work not date. And if anything friends come last on the list.
2. What is going on, especially sexually is no much of a secret. Everybody is going to know and all of your business becomes like High school. Workplace gossip can jeopardize your work reputation.
3. If HR has rules against workplace relationships, and you can't date, that's already a problem.
4. You don't know a person enough as a friend, to even date. You can make somebody uncomfortable. Hense workplace sexual harassment, or harassment period.
5. If that relationship doesn't last, again, everybody begins to know it, and it can affect your work performance and relations with others on your floor, department, etc.
6. If she says no, again, EVERYBODY is bound to know, and then you're going to have a miserable work life because of the rejection. I know. Been through it as the rejector. Guy left about a week later. One of my friends has had a similar issue. Only lasted 2 weeks, by the next day of the breakup, acted like she never existed. People started questioning but she had to push through regardless of workplace gossip. But he surely made sure he didn't exist because of it.
7. Every problem you face in the relationship 2x.

Get to know her as a friend first, or just ask her out. But don't be surprised by some things. Again, this isn't college or even high school. This is work. You paid to work overall. You build relationships with others, but you don't force dating like it's expected. Every person is not interested in that or welcome that. You need to make sure a person wants that.

Do you stay friends with a person that knows you’re crushing on someone and they decide to try and get with them?

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