I think the main issue is how long have you known this woman? How did you get this information? Is the information correct? What's been your experience with this woman on a personal level? If it's been very good and you enjoy her company and nothing is amiss, why not wait and see? I'd be wondering about the SOURCE of this information. Are they trying to HURT this woman? She has enough on her plate. That is a revelation for a later date. She will tell you when she believes she can TRUST you. Why would YOU TRUST THE PERSON WHO's RATTED HER OUT?
@Screenwriter Are you serious about screenwriting? Cause I write too.
You said you can't trust a word they say. Can you tell me more about that? My biggest fear is that during episodes of Mania a woman who has a Bipolar Disorder will cheat and have sex with some other guy. Can you trust someone who has that condition to be faithful? Recently, the girl I have been seeing asked for me to stop by her place to celebrate my new job over a glass of wine. I gave a time, then she said it was too late. So then I gave an earlier time. Then she asked me to travel to a different city to pick up furniture for her massive remodeling project. Then she said I shouldn't come over after all. So i cut off contact. she's told me she has a history of being reckless sexually. I couldn't tell if she was cheatingbor what.😔😪🤯
OK Apope. That is a worrying statement FROM her. Let's cut out the bipolar guesstimate. If this woman TELLS you she has a HISTORY OF BEING SEXUALLY RECKLESS, then I would believe her and LEAVE HER ALONE.The sole incident you describe sounds like she couldn't decide if she wanted you to come over or not and her asking you to pick up a piece of furniture for her "massive remodeling project" sounds completely off the wall. Is she an interior designer? Why would she ask you to go to another city to pick up a piece of furniture for you? She sounds off the wall, inconsistent, has warned you of her sexual issues and none of what you're saying sounds particularly emotionally safe.I wouldn't be worried about her being bipolar. I'd be worried about her strange request, her telling you she's been sexually reckless and her indecision about something as simple as coming over to have a glass of wine. Those things speak volumes. I'd be reticent. Her actions don't sound like she's terribly anxious. Sounds like she's all over the map...
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Thats really not the question. I just want advice on how to date someone who has Bipolar Disorder. Not trying to change someone. Trying to manage a relationship.
The answer was for the second scale. As for the first scale, I don't know if she has a mild form of it or not in order to give proper advice. Not everyone who has a bipolar disorder behaves the same way, therefore if I tried to write an answer based on that, it wouldn't be genuine, since I don't know the girl and how she behaves.
Okay. Thanks a lot for your replies. Nit just here but other questions as well.
You are welcome!
I can't answer the first scale of the question, but I am under the impression that this is the best answer so far, Asker.
@Account thank you.I like to think I've learned something from my experiences both with someone who's like that and being myself that person on occasion.
She has not admitted to having it. I think she is misdiagnosed as having anxiety. she has anxiety medication. I told her I wanted to talk about some things that have happened. I said, "Im seeing some signs in your behavior that make me want to have a deeper understanding of you."She apparently gave a ❤ in reeponse to what i said and told me nobody she's dated has wanted a deeper understanding. "It means a lot."
Anxiety and bipolar illness MIGHT occur in tandem, but one has little to do with the other. Is this person very young? People aren't usually diagnosed until their mid-thirties, when the 20s era is no longer an excuse for bizarre or unconventional behavior and they HAVE to have steady work, take care of kids and possibly help elder parents. Then the pressure's on. Don't try to diagnose this woman. I'd ask her how many counselors/therapists she's been to and has her anxiety been a lifelong problem. I know someone who has had lifelong anxiety and that is ALL he has.Don't make any assumptions from tidbits of bipolar disorder information or misinformation. It is a VERY complex disorder to diagnose and it takes a highly skilled PSYCHIATRIST with plenty of experience WITH bipolar patients to accurately diagnose this illness, as it manifests differently in different people. Good luck and hang BACK.
@Screenwriter She is 33 years old.
@Screenwriter I think she is in the middle of mania right now. Lovebombing me. Talking of marriage after 1 month. Started some large scale neighborhood fundraising project for 4 days last week. The past 3 nights she's been starting a massive house cleaning project. There is furniture and dishes scattered around the entire house like a tornado. She scheduled a 2021 goals date. We wrote goals for 30 minutes then she got tired... she had been talking about a goals thing for a whole week! She asked me to come for wine then said she was too tired. Its hurtful.
If "these people" were dying out, there'd be no one with bipolar illness. There are quite a few out there in all walks of life. Most are people who've managed their illness: have jobs, spouses, children they raise. Only a few fall down the rabbit hole and refuse to be treated and have families who give up and end up begging for money on the streets.
You should go into therapy. I think you have a calling!!!
Aw thank you ❤
THank you. She's messaging me again. after 2 days of no contact. I just couldn't talk to her because she did something that triggered me and hurt me so bad. I try not to cry about it. I am trying to be strong and not fall in love with her again.
Aw I’m sorry to hear you got hurt but well if she’s worth it i’d say give her a chance, if of course her being bipolar is the issue, such people are not that hard to handle once you get the hang of it
OK. You're not quite right. People get on meds and are immediately better. They attend counseling and that works in conjunction. When they're better, they think they're "CURED" and stop going to counseling and stop taking meds. They don't TELL anyone until they start falling apart and the problem with bipolar illness is that once you're on your way UP, you become delusional and feel fabulous and wouldn't listen to Jesus Christ if he was standing in front of you. When MANIC, people have a viable excuse. And it's clear humans have magical beliefs and don't WANT TO BE SICK. I'M WELL. ALL PEOPLE WITH CHRONIC ILLNESSES BEHAVE IN THIS MANNER. Be it type 1 or 2 diabetes. High blood pressure, cancer, drug and alcohol addiction, obesity. It is likely a person falls off the wagon a few times before they accept what they have to do ALL THE TIME to keep on an even keel. It up to this person to have a line they won't accept that that person crosses over...
@Screenwriter then maybe my ex wife is the one exception to the rule cuz, fuck... she was a beast
@Screenwriter and I'm assuming that most people WANT to be better... not my ex.
i have a friend who has a mild form of it. i honestly can't imagine dealing with that in a relationship.
What type of stuff did you have to deal with? Why did the relationship end?
He would overreact to many things. If someone cut him off on traffic, it ruined his mood for the whole day. He would have mood swings at the drop of a hat. Sometimes they lasted a few hours, sometimes days at a time. Once he was in a low mood and quit his job, forcing me to cover his part of the rent for about 2 months. He’d get weirdly obsessed with dark and depressing movies and conspiracy theories. He’d swung back and forth between getting all down and feel long worthless to having these pep talks with his dad gassing him up telling him he’s an “alpha male” and needs to “see what else is out there.” So we broke up and got back together several times. While he was “seeing what else was out there” so was I, and realized I couldn’t live like this anymore. I was working my ass off trying to please him and he couldn’t bother to take his medication properly. I couldn’t keep up the constant pressure to serve him and his mental needs. The symptoms were taking over too much and it became one sided. I was only 20 and it was just too much for me.
And what was hard is that I still loved him and I knew his behavior and way of thinking wasn’t always the “him” that I met and fell in love with. But it gave me a glimpse into the future and how much it was impacting the both of us, and how much it would hold us both back. Sad thing is, things got much worse for him and his family.
God im sorry. Thats child abuse.😔
It’s ok she got a pass she was very old and I think didn’t recognize us and got scared. But I was just showing how it can get bad without medication management
Thats because I ask them and i have experiences.
Don't believe this. Everything is NOT possible. Period. Weigh the good and bad and make a decision. Love cannot cure mental illness, criminal behavior, lack of proper hygiene, poor manners, lack of education, culture, differences in religion, handling of money. Those are GIANT problems that end relationships every day.
Hmm. I guess so. I guess so