When guys say they really like you, is there an emotional connection, or feelings starting to grow, or is it purely physical?

Question

I’ve been chatting to this guy for almost 3 months now and after 2 months I asked him what is it he wants. He likes me but is not sure what he wants yet. He wants to enjoy my company and see where things go. He also said for me not to have expectations from him. After this we stopped texting for a week but then he came back and we got closer. A couple of weeks after we were chatting and he texts me “I really like you” - could this be he is starting to feel something more? I mean we’re naturally sexual with each other but we talk about other things too. We both agree we get along really well.

Updates:

1 y

And after he said he really likes me, he’s a musician he even invited me to assist to his live concert online if I wanted to

1 y

And yes we text often

Answer 1

Screenwriter | 1.4K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

If this is a strictly online relationship, you don't have much to base this on but words.
He said, particularly: not to have expectations from him.
Liking you is not much.
Talking about sex is also very vague.
If you have the opportunity to have coffee together and go for walks on occasion, since this pandemic is limiting interactions and doing some outdoor activities if you aren't anywhere where it's too cold, you might invest some time IRL.
If all you
re basing this on is an online thiing, you are NOT really getting along well. You need to be PHYSICALLY present WITH each other to determine if you actually get along.
What if he has rotten teeth? Smells bad? Belches and farts all the time? You have different ideas of how to spend money? Zoom calls or Skype won't tell you any of this.
You need to DATE and BE TOGETHER to learn these things about each other. Three months is about as far as you can go online before there's nowhere else to go.
You have no idea about who he sees in real life. He may have a girlfriend already who's in his pod. You're just a side chick. He may have kept this from you or lied to you. You know about that MTV show Catfish, don't you?
Don't invest too much in an online relationship that can't happen IRL. If this guy lives 100 miles away and you can never meet him regularly, this is like a pen pal in the old days. Something pleasant, but nothing will come of it.

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Asker

1 y
Oh forgot to add but we’ve actually been together in a friendly non sexual way once. He took me out for dinner and ended in a tight hug. It was just before the third lockdown happened. Recently he even showed on of my IG stories to his mum who I know is the most important person in his life. He absolutely adores her.
Asker

1 y
He lives in the same city as me and he smells pretty good haha and no he hasn’t got any girlfriend. They broke up a year ago
Screenwriter

1 y
Well, it seems that after lockdown SOMEthing could happen. But, I'd be wary simply because of his, don't have any expectations statement. And his being busy all the time. He doesn't sound like a great bet. Why don't you chat up someone who seems more available and doesn't have walls up.

Answer 2

Asker

Oh forgot to add but we’ve actually been together in a friendly non sexual way once. He took me out for dinner and ended in a tight hug. It was just before the third lockdown happened. Recently he even showed on of my IG stories to his mum who I know is the most important person in his life. He absolutely adores her.

Answer 3

Asker

He lives in the same city as me and he smells pretty good haha and no he hasn’t got any girlfriend. They broke up a year ago

Answer 4

Screenwriter

Well, it seems that after lockdown SOMEthing could happen. But, I'd be wary simply because of his, don't have any expectations statement. And his being busy all the time. He doesn't sound like a great bet. Why don't you chat up someone who seems more available and doesn't have walls up.

Answer 5

Kit_Kat88 | 461 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Yoda

Lol girls and their musicians. He said that after a week without talking so it might mean he wants to spend time with you and see if it’ll go somewhere

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Asker

1 y
What about him saying I really like you after that?
Kit_Kat88

1 y
He took time to think and realized he might have feelings for you

Answer 6

Asker

What about him saying I really like you after that?

Answer 7

Kit_Kat88

He took time to think and realized he might have feelings for you

Answer 8

Floppy2112

Xper 7

"I mean we’re naturally sexual with each other but we talk about other things too. We both agree we get along really well." <- And there it is. That's your problem. If your giving up the goods he has no reason to commit to you anything. If you want to just bang around and have fun, then that's your prerogative, but don't expect more than that.
People think sex is free, it's not. There is always a price to pay and in this case it's your emotions paying the price. Cut him off and see what he does. He will either claim you as exclusive or let you move on. That's what you have to do to find out how he feels.

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Asker

1 y
What about him saying “I really like you”?
Floppy2112

1 y
He could be stringing you along, by saying that. I don't know because I don't know him. I base my opinions on the odds. If he is getting your goodness with no strings attached that's likely all he wants. He'll be nice as long as he's happy with the arrangement. That's the odds.
He may be an amazing, thoughtful person who is truly ruminating about next steps, but the odds are against that.
You went in casual, it's not likely to get much deeper than that. That doesn't mean it can't, it's just not likely. Do you understand?
Screenwriter

1 y
I really like LOTS of people. There are charming, wonderful people everywhere who are amusing to talk to and spend some time with. They aren't people who I'm close to. I casually know them and it's great to know them. If you're face timing and doing sexual things OF COURSE he likes you while he's been sick etc. He's bored out of his mind.
SO ARE YOU!
Why don't you wait until lockdown is over and cool this whole face time sex thing down.
See what happens when you don't do that anymore.
He might get busy again.
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Floppy2112

1 y
Yeah, I don't put any stake in that necessarily. Would he still 'really like you' if there wasn't a sexual component? When you give up the goods too fast it's hard to tell true intentions.
If you want this to be something more than it is, you're going to have to make it clear and be more reserved sexually until you know you are both on the same level of understanding of the relationship. I really like people when they want to get me off, does not mean I want a relationship or exclusivity. I think you know what to do here and probably a little fearful of the answer. That's normal, but it's better to have clarity. If he's not moving the relationship forward, I don't have a lot of confidence in it. The general rule of thumb is, women control access to sex, men control access to relationships.
A man who really, really likes you won't hesitate much in getting deeper in a relationship. He will want you to himself and with nobody else.
Asker

1 y
Oh forgot to add but we’ve actually been together in a friendly non sexual way once. He took me out for dinner and ended in a tight hug. It was just before the third lockdown happened. Recently he even showed on of my IG stories to his mum who I know is the most important person in his life. He absolutely adores her.
Plus I’ve told him I’m a virgin and he was super respectful and said I won’t pressure you, you do it when you feel ready.
Asker

1 y
And we’ve been doing facetime recently while the lockdown is happening. We both love literature and he even read aloud for me once
Floppy2112

1 y
Well, that sounds different than you original description. It sounded like y'all had a purely physical connection in your original post. Based on the additional information it sounds like a normal relationship. Still being a virgin means you haven't been very physical at all. So I am not sure what your concern is.
I am actually more concerned about the severity of the lockdowns you are experiencing. It sounds like its damn near house arrest. If you are both healthy and young and of relatively low risk of getting severely ill, why can't you see each other?
Floppy2112

1 y
by the way... Stay a virgin. It's your greatest asset right now (with regards to the dating market). You cannot turn back once you cross the line.

Answer 9

Asker

What about him saying “I really like you”?

Answer 10

Floppy2112

He could be stringing you along, by saying that. I don't know because I don't know him. I base my opinions on the odds. If he is getting your goodness with no strings attached that's likely all he wants. He'll be nice as long as he's happy with the arrangement. That's the odds.
He may be an amazing, thoughtful person who is truly ruminating about next steps, but the odds are against that.
You went in casual, it's not likely to get much deeper than that. That doesn't mean it can't, it's just not likely. Do you understand?

Answer 11

Screenwriter

I really like LOTS of people. There are charming, wonderful people everywhere who are amusing to talk to and spend some time with. They aren't people who I'm close to. I casually know them and it's great to know them. If you're face timing and doing sexual things OF COURSE he likes you while he's been sick etc. He's bored out of his mind.
SO ARE YOU!
Why don't you wait until lockdown is over and cool this whole face time sex thing down.
See what happens when you don't do that anymore.
He might get busy again.

Answer 12

Floppy2112

Yeah, I don't put any stake in that necessarily. Would he still 'really like you' if there wasn't a sexual component? When you give up the goods too fast it's hard to tell true intentions.
If you want this to be something more than it is, you're going to have to make it clear and be more reserved sexually until you know you are both on the same level of understanding of the relationship. I really like people when they want to get me off, does not mean I want a relationship or exclusivity. I think you know what to do here and probably a little fearful of the answer. That's normal, but it's better to have clarity. If he's not moving the relationship forward, I don't have a lot of confidence in it. The general rule of thumb is, women control access to sex, men control access to relationships.
A man who really, really likes you won't hesitate much in getting deeper in a relationship. He will want you to himself and with nobody else.

Answer 13

Asker

Oh forgot to add but we’ve actually been together in a friendly non sexual way once. He took me out for dinner and ended in a tight hug. It was just before the third lockdown happened. Recently he even showed on of my IG stories to his mum who I know is the most important person in his life. He absolutely adores her.
Plus I’ve told him I’m a virgin and he was super respectful and said I won’t pressure you, you do it when you feel ready.

Answer 14

Asker

And we’ve been doing facetime recently while the lockdown is happening. We both love literature and he even read aloud for me once

Answer 15

Floppy2112

Well, that sounds different than you original description. It sounded like y'all had a purely physical connection in your original post. Based on the additional information it sounds like a normal relationship. Still being a virgin means you haven't been very physical at all. So I am not sure what your concern is.
I am actually more concerned about the severity of the lockdowns you are experiencing. It sounds like its damn near house arrest. If you are both healthy and young and of relatively low risk of getting severely ill, why can't you see each other?

Answer 16

Floppy2112

by the way... Stay a virgin. It's your greatest asset right now (with regards to the dating market). You cannot turn back once you cross the line.

Answer 17

OlderAndWiser | 8.8K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Influencer

Actually. . . all guys are not alike and there is not one rule that covers all guys in this situation.

He wants sex. Whether he wants more is something you must determine based on your interactions with him. Have you et him face-to-face or has everything been in digital fantasyland?

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Asker

1 y
Cause of the pandemic, we’ve met just once and nothing happened. The date ended in a tight hug. If all he wanted was just sex why wait 2 months? If he only wanted sex he could’ve make up the time to see me after our first date just before lockdown happened and he was always saying he was too busy.
Asker

1 y
Plus I don’t think he would invest in getting to know me all this time
Asker

1 y
Also he’s always saying he finds me innocent and that’s cute. He knows I’m not the type to give myself easily to someone and he said he’s willing to wait until I feel ready. But I mean we don’t have a choice if not wait cause of lockdown is going to take a while for us to be with each other again
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OlderAndWiser

1 y
You may be right but maybe he had another sex interest at that time and it fizzled out when the lockdown resumed.
Asker

1 y
I mean our conversations can be pretty sexual but I don’t know hence my question here. I mean I know this conversations are also important to see if we’re sexually compatible but we also talk about other stuff. And he knows I’m not that kind of girl so he knows he won’t have it easy with me if he actually wants to have something. So I’m assuming sex it’s part of it yes but not all he wants? Also would you say I really like you to someone if only were attracted to them? Cause he said I like you before but this time is I really like you
OlderAndWiser

1 y
If he is an insincere guy, he will say anything. At the moment, you are n a lockdown so much of what is happening is controlled by your lockdown rules and not by his choices. The only way to know the answer is to spend time with him in person. In the meantime, are you texting or Skype/Facetiming?
Asker

1 y
Yes we’ve been FaceTime quite a lot lately which is something he was kind of reluctant in doing! We even got spicier once not nudes nor anything like that but yes it turned sexual and we both got hard. But before that part we spent 2h on the phone talking about a lot of other stuff
Asker

1 y
Well not a lot but we did it twice and the second time was on Christmas day cause he got covid n wanted to wish me a happy new year. Then he got real sick for 2 weeks so we didn’t facetime but we’re planning to sometime soon
Screenwriter

1 y
You have no idea who ELSE this guy is talking to online. He's a MUSICIAN! Come on, girl. They're fairly notorious.
But, again, he is AlWAYS SAYING HE IS TOO BUSY... If he's that busy, doesn't sound like he has time for you. Lockdown complicates this. Is this guy even close? I mean distance wise.

Answer 18

Asker

Cause of the pandemic, we’ve met just once and nothing happened. The date ended in a tight hug. If all he wanted was just sex why wait 2 months? If he only wanted sex he could’ve make up the time to see me after our first date just before lockdown happened and he was always saying he was too busy.

Answer 19

Asker

Plus I don’t think he would invest in getting to know me all this time

Answer 20

Asker

Also he’s always saying he finds me innocent and that’s cute. He knows I’m not the type to give myself easily to someone and he said he’s willing to wait until I feel ready. But I mean we don’t have a choice if not wait cause of lockdown is going to take a while for us to be with each other again

Answer 21

OlderAndWiser

You may be right but maybe he had another sex interest at that time and it fizzled out when the lockdown resumed.

Answer 22

Asker

I mean our conversations can be pretty sexual but I don’t know hence my question here. I mean I know this conversations are also important to see if we’re sexually compatible but we also talk about other stuff. And he knows I’m not that kind of girl so he knows he won’t have it easy with me if he actually wants to have something. So I’m assuming sex it’s part of it yes but not all he wants? Also would you say I really like you to someone if only were attracted to them? Cause he said I like you before but this time is I really like you

Answer 23

OlderAndWiser

If he is an insincere guy, he will say anything. At the moment, you are n a lockdown so much of what is happening is controlled by your lockdown rules and not by his choices. The only way to know the answer is to spend time with him in person. In the meantime, are you texting or Skype/Facetiming?

Answer 24

Asker

Yes we’ve been FaceTime quite a lot lately which is something he was kind of reluctant in doing! We even got spicier once not nudes nor anything like that but yes it turned sexual and we both got hard. But before that part we spent 2h on the phone talking about a lot of other stuff

Answer 25

Asker

Well not a lot but we did it twice and the second time was on Christmas day cause he got covid n wanted to wish me a happy new year. Then he got real sick for 2 weeks so we didn’t facetime but we’re planning to sometime soon

Answer 26

Screenwriter

You have no idea who ELSE this guy is talking to online. He's a MUSICIAN! Come on, girl. They're fairly notorious.
But, again, he is AlWAYS SAYING HE IS TOO BUSY... If he's that busy, doesn't sound like he has time for you. Lockdown complicates this. Is this guy even close? I mean distance wise.

Answer 27

Shubhamgupta

Xper 4

He is discovering you , intially he is not serious but due to lockdown he is become serious addict of your chats and now he is limitling again himself to control his feelings for you because he is confuse about relationship with you. He is still figuring out the future of this relationship stay calm and talk directly to him about his feelings.

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Answer 28

spartan55 | 2.2K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

I'm guessing you haven't met in person yet? If that is the case, any discussion about "what we are", "what are your intentions" etc are premature.

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Asker

1 y
We actually have just before the third lockdown happened

Answer 29

Asker

We actually have just before the third lockdown happened

Answer 30

Rohan-Thanekar | 79 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 6

If that's the case then,, More then texting try to do video call. Things will appear much clear as yoool do more video calls. & Let the things flow with time.

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Answer 31

jamesgoldman | 1.5K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

Personally there's emotion there
Other guys not so much

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Answer 32

Iron_Man | 13.9K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

When new at first is to get in your shorts later on it’s for real

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Answer 33

anon123ab

Xper 1

Depends on the guy. Look at him and try to deteibechis end game. Is he purely interested in physical? Or is he emotionally investing.

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Answer 34

WesBrewer | 1.3K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Yoda

Probably feelings that are growing, so he is expressing.

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1 Person

Answer 35

Yuuibtony | 114 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 6

No, it only real if you two went on dates before this cjattingstuff, chatting stuff, a guy say he really like you before even dating you, it 100 percent lust you suppose to date someone before saying that and chatting do not count

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1 Person

Answer 36

Anonymous

I always assume friendship because im dense... at least that's how I view most males.

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Answer 37

genericname85 | 7.2K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

May or may not. You can't know.

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Answer 38

Skankhunt | 448 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 6

It's the feelings that are growing

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1 Person

Answer 39

SUMAIREBRAHIM | 248 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 6

He is emotionally connected to you

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1 Person

Answer 40

MED2525

Xper 1

Ask him

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Answer 41

sugeng

Xper 1

halo

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When guys say they really like you, is there an emotional connection, or feelings starting to grow, or is it purely physical?

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