My son is dating a woman my age. I'm very concerned this will not work out well for him in the end. I'm very confused. How should I handle this?

[hahahmm]

I get why guys are telling you it's none of your business but I also get your concern.
I have bad news for you. My reading of this is:

1. He's not going to listen to you. In fact saying to much will get you on her "do not talk to" list which will cause problems for you eventually too because..
2. He's a momma's boy. You need to own your responsibility for creating that. He needs a mommy figure in his life. I'm NOT saying this because of the age difference but the fact he is running to love in her home and dumb enough to think a woman he just (?) met is telling him the truth about everything.
3. He didn't have a good father figure/male role model in his life. If he did he'd be more cautious about falling hard for this woman. That's half your fault at least. I'm talking about when he was a kid. But now...
4. He's an adult... he's 100% responsible for his choices now.


That said, I'm a firm believer in being true to one's core beliefs. If you truly believe this woman is bad for him don't give any indication that you endorse/support his choice. If they're together for years and things seem good then re-asses. A mistake I see some parents make is to accept their child's partner like they're close family on day one. Then when the partner is found out to be super bad the parent has a sob story about how it was a surprise. But they never bothered to investigate that person at all.

[Guffrus]

Its simply none of your business, you dont get to make choices for other people.

You say your piece you voice your concerns so that others can make informed choices but people dont have to do what you want them to do.

I think your husband is probably right but even if he isn't i dont see another position you can take up, what are you going to do? Disown him? Refuse to acknowledge her? Anything you do to force the issue towards YOUR preferred outcome will alienate your Son.

[SphynxUK]

Firstly, he’s not settling.
He’s told you he loves her, and she loves him.
Try not to think about the age gap. He is an adult after all.
It’s going to feel strange to you, but neither of them have done anything wrong.
Be polite when you meet her, and assess how they interact. Remember she’s going to very nervous meeting you!
You can tell your son you feel apprehensive about his choices if you find you don’t like her, but saying any more than this will push him further away. Chances are things will fizzle out naturally after a while...

[pleasestopthis]

I wouldn't recommend you resist your son's decision too much, sometimes (most times actually) that has the opposite effect. He's big enough now, let him figure things out for himself... if they love each other this can work out... or maybe not, but that happens even to couples that have similar age.
At least wait until you meet her, and try to keep an open mind and not focus too much on her age but on the way she is as a person.

[Kiss_Me]

Your son is well into adulthood. Let him live his own life. Like most relationships, it will most likely end in time. I doubt it will spin his life in a negative direction. Most likely, it will instill a desire to date mature women. Not necessarily older, just mature. It will decrease the chance of dating a little girl that will play games and potentially cause negative life changes. (Cheaters, kids, divorce, etc.)

[Avicenna]

They're both adults, so I don't see a problem.

In 2019, I dated a woman 16 years younger than me whose father was only around 4 years older than me. The only one who made a big deal about the age difference was her sister (17 months older than her), and it wasn't an issue. It's not anywhere near as big a deal as some people make out of it. I've been older than the parents of a woman I dated for awhile (never met them though).

It could well fizzle out once they live together, so I think your husband is right. The only concern I have is that this woman already has kids. Do these kids live with her? If so, THAT could be a dealbreaker.

[magiusX26]

sorry but he is grown and so is she. stay out of it and just be there for him if things go bad. dont judge them. other than the fact he is your son, its none of your business. just as its none of the rest of us. who knows, maybe it will turn out great for them. he mite be more into the older ladies than younger or his own age, and honestly thats ok.

[Wiredone]

I wouldn't say anything to him. He is an adult not a baby. You can't tell him how to live his life. I don't think it will last between them. If he's happy, put your feelings aside and support him. If you spoke your mind you may push your son away from you.

[bamesjond0069]

Is she really hot? If so makes sense to have a casual relationship at 25 for him. A year or two later they will be done. Just tell him no babies... that would fuck his life up because they won't work out.

If she's ugly then it means your son has really serious self esteem issues and is so desperate for sex he will do moronic things to just have any access to a vagina. Thats not healthy.

[Jayla2000]

He's 25. You got to let him live his life.

Voice your concerns but in the end just support his decision and help him to make it work.

He will appreciate it instead of resenting you.

[DWornock]

I agree with your husband. It will fizzle out. Especially because after he moves in with they will experience a lot of social disapproval. The age difference alone makes it difficult but combined with the social disapproval, it just won't last.

[r_r_g]

Women have simy grabbed the right to date someone half their age and shamed men out of it or even criminalised it.
You get what your feminazi sorority exacted for its kind 🤷‍♂️

[Anonymous]

He’s 25... doesn’t matter if you are confused, you handle it by minding your own business. He is an adult.

[_Troian_]

Maybe he wants to bang a MILF? Leave the man.

[bulletson]

That’s hot