Ladies in a age where we are super feminine do you find it hard to be a tomboy?

Question

I'm currently sporting what would none the less be called a grunge or tomboy /lesbian of the 90's look. I hardly ever shave, my hair is natural and I often put them in box braids without extensions. I cycle to work and don't care if I get bike grease on my clothes. I wear oversized tshirts with joggers and wide leg trousers. I wear foundation but it's mostly to even out my complexion. I pencil my eyebrows but they are already pretty thick. This is to fill in the gap and remove the shine that can make them disappear in photos.
I hardly have a smell and if you do smell anything it's from the natural oils I wear in my hair or the pheromones as i do not sweat because I wear deodorant.
My bike folds and weighs around 17kg I will lift it so I can get into the building at work and up some stairs. The other women act as if this is some mountain task.
I no longer have a boyfriend. And can't see myself looking for one as of yet.
I am into yoga and really getting into Buddhism.
It's awkward at work because I think they're convinced I may be a lesbian. At times I actually think they are discriminating against what they think I am.
I've been nothing but kind to all people at work but I think my niceness is too nice. They're finding it odd. Like I'm coming on to them.
Either way things have happened and well I am going through my version of the 'great depression' , but my performance at work has actually been pretty good. I just refuse to engage in all the bitching.

Answer 1

Screenwriter | 1.3K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Yoda

You're lucky. I wish I could've sported the lesbian look when I was at work back in the 90s. The gear was skirts and dresses. But I live in board shorts, Ts, men's oversized dress shirts and leggings. Dresses are for graduations, weddings and funerals.

I'm into functionality and comfort. I'm clean and my clothes are too. But I don't care to present as "feminine." I think I come across as a woman, and I have some feminine interests and s ome typically masculine interests: weight lifting, hunting, fishing, changing my own oil, painting my house inside and out, general home maintenance.

Be the best self you can be. Be pleasant. You don't have to be "nice." People have a tendency to run over you. So watch that. I understand the appeal to be strong physically. Let those women think you're odd. Your body and your attitude will be in far better shape when you're MY age! And you'll be proud of yourself too!

lilyanony1

1 mo
Thank you, I appreciate this. I typically don't follow the trend and I don't care how I dress simply because well clothes right now only serve a practical reason. To cover me!
I don't understand why so many make a big thing about it when it's my body.
The worst thing is it's women. I couldn't care less if I didn't shave I also couldn't care less if I'm aesthetically pleasing to them. But it bothers me that my body bothers them so much.
It just doesn't make any sense.
I completely get what you mean about dresses for occasions, but I'll add even then I have been known to prefer trousers. 😂😊

Answer 2

lilyanony1

Thank you, I appreciate this. I typically don't follow the trend and I don't care how I dress simply because well clothes right now only serve a practical reason. To cover me!
I don't understand why so many make a big thing about it when it's my body.
The worst thing is it's women. I couldn't care less if I didn't shave I also couldn't care less if I'm aesthetically pleasing to them. But it bothers me that my body bothers them so much.
It just doesn't make any sense.
I completely get what you mean about dresses for occasions, but I'll add even then I have been known to prefer trousers. 😂😊

Answer 3

RingOfFire | 312 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 6

And? Is there a point to all of this?

You are complaining that people don't react to you the way you want them to, but refuse to make changes so that they will?

Okay fine. But what is the point?

You are saying that everyone else is supposed to change their view to the way you want it to be but you shouldn't have to change anything because their views are wrong? Everyone is out of step but you so they better straighten up and see things your way?

What is your point?

lilyanony1

1 mo
Mind your business! That's the only point
RingOfFire

1 mo
You are telling ME to mind my business? Or you are saying that the people where you work should mind their business?
RingOfFire

1 mo
It seems to me that the people at your work don't like you very much and you are not willing to do anything to change that. You like your lesbian vibe and they don't. You have that right, but you can't have things both ways. They also have a right not to like it. The world doesn't change to adapt to you. If you want their approval you have to change to get it. Otherwise you have no basis to complain.
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lilyanony1

1 mo
I don't want their approval I want to be left alone
RingOfFire

1 mo
So if you want to be left alone, why are you trying to be nice to everybody? Just do your job, be professional and don't talk to anyone unless it is necessary to your job. You don't have to be "nice" or "kind" you only have to be professional. If you are overly nice to people they naturally take that as a sign that you are open to their attention.

Answer 4

lilyanony1

Mind your business! That's the only point

Answer 5

RingOfFire

You are telling ME to mind my business? Or you are saying that the people where you work should mind their business?

Answer 6

RingOfFire

It seems to me that the people at your work don't like you very much and you are not willing to do anything to change that. You like your lesbian vibe and they don't. You have that right, but you can't have things both ways. They also have a right not to like it. The world doesn't change to adapt to you. If you want their approval you have to change to get it. Otherwise you have no basis to complain.

Answer 7

lilyanony1

I don't want their approval I want to be left alone

Answer 8

RingOfFire

So if you want to be left alone, why are you trying to be nice to everybody? Just do your job, be professional and don't talk to anyone unless it is necessary to your job. You don't have to be "nice" or "kind" you only have to be professional. If you are overly nice to people they naturally take that as a sign that you are open to their attention.

Answer 9

Jamie05rhs | 2.2K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

I know this question was addressed to women, but I just want to say that I support you and I don't think there's anything wrong with the way you live your life.

lilyanony1

1 mo
Thank you... And its funny because most women don't respond to questions like this. I don't mind whoever responds tbh. So long as they aren't rude. Someone did say something to me, "they have a problem with you because you are doing what you want, and are comfortable with it". And I actually believe that.
Jamie05rhs

1 mo
@lilyanony1 You're welcome. :)

Answer 10

lilyanony1

Thank you... And its funny because most women don't respond to questions like this. I don't mind whoever responds tbh. So long as they aren't rude. Someone did say something to me, "they have a problem with you because you are doing what you want, and are comfortable with it". And I actually believe that.

Answer 11

Jamie05rhs

@lilyanony1 You're welcome. :)

Answer 12

msc545 | 2K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

Whatever works for you is fine - don't worry about what others think.

lilyanony1

1 mo
I wish i didn't, colleagues actually went as far as tell me I should have laser treatment. I have had one woman call another colleague a "faggot" I feel as a way as to conclude my sexual identity. (which was questioned even by my father when growing up) ugh people are so shallow honestly.
msc545

1 mo
😒😒
lilyanony1

1 mo
Yea I know
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msc545

1 mo
I really dislike bigots.
lilyanony1

1 mo
Well we are in agreement there. We all gotta share this tiny planet why can't we do it in harmony?

Answer 13

lilyanony1

I wish i didn't, colleagues actually went as far as tell me I should have laser treatment. I have had one woman call another colleague a "faggot" I feel as a way as to conclude my sexual identity. (which was questioned even by my father when growing up) ugh people are so shallow honestly.

Answer 14

msc545

😒😒

Answer 15

lilyanony1

Yea I know

Answer 16

msc545

I really dislike bigots.

Answer 17

lilyanony1

Well we are in agreement there. We all gotta share this tiny planet why can't we do it in harmony?

Answer 18

bamesjond0069 | 1.6K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Yoda

Are you nuts? Women are the least feminine they have ever been before.

Answer 19

Anonymous

you are crazy if you think that most women are feminine

Answer 20

COMMODOREII | 5.3K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

My kind of girl!! 😄👍

lilyanony1

1 mo
Glad you don't mind. I think I may be the relative of samson you know, I seem to feel rather weak without my 'body' hair lol.
And I've never met a man who dated me and complained either. I am me and I try my hardest to maintain living authentically me, I've found living like this to be very liberating.
COMMODOREII

1 mo
Cool. I like shaving my hair 😂
lilyanony1

1 mo
Whatever makes you happy. 👍🏾

Answer 21

lilyanony1

Glad you don't mind. I think I may be the relative of samson you know, I seem to feel rather weak without my 'body' hair lol.
And I've never met a man who dated me and complained either. I am me and I try my hardest to maintain living authentically me, I've found living like this to be very liberating.

Answer 22

COMMODOREII

Cool. I like shaving my hair 😂

Answer 23

lilyanony1

Whatever makes you happy. 👍🏾

Answer 24

MrCreep | 154 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 6

It's fine if you shave lol

Answer 25

Diversity_Hire | 112 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 6

I wish there were more tomboys...

Ladies in a age where we are super feminine do you find it hard to be a tomboy?

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