Is it rude for a girl to suggest she wants an actual date?

I met this guy a month ago and from us talking here and there I seemed to like him. I recently hung out with him at his house to watch movies.We actually didn't even finish watching it (he didn't want to watch it anymore) and went straight to his room. (I know, all bad)...We talked about relationships and past dating experiences. SO, I then asked him if he was going to take me on a date and when (because I did not consider going to his house a "date" esp being it was our first time hanging out) He said he wanted to and would when we're free. I didn't want to stay long to avoid him wanting to hook up so I told him I had to leave and gave him a kiss (a PECK) then he wanted to proceed in hooking up and when I declined was disappointed in me leaving. Now he hasn't called. I feel this could've been prevented if I hadn't gone to his house in the first place but I just didn't know how to tell him because I liked him so far..SO if a guy asks to come to his house, how can a girl politely tell him it's NO without making him think she's not interested?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You shouldn't have gone to his house. When guys invite you over, it's for sex. Don't worry, I didn't know that when I was a teenager. I found that out a few years ago actually when the same scenario played out, but I didn't bother with him for too long and you shouldn't either. He probably does this with a lot of females, and you don't want to be the one he crosses off his list when he's done.

    He wanted free sex, and because you didn't give it to him when he thought he made it clear (going to the bed), he was not a happy camper. You asked for a date, which is not rude, but is rude that he expected you to be an easy female. Real women like us want to be taken out on a date. We want a guy to work for us; to show us that he deserves our time, our energy, and eventually when we are ready, our cookie. We want to be treated like royalty 'cause that's what we are, and if he stays with us long enough to find out, he will be happy he put in the effort. You are special. If he doesn't see it, another man will.

    Remember, don't hang out in any guy's house. You can hang out outside, and if you want a date and the guy doesn't, don't waste another second and forget him. There are so many guys who would like to take you out. Just be patient. It'll happen when you least expect it.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • "Maybe later, but for now I want to be out on the town showing you off."


What Girls Said 3

  • You didn't do anything wrong. He didn't think you weren't interested, clearly you were since you suggested a date. He just knew you didn't want to put out. That's what he was interested in and since he hasn't called, I'm guessing that's all he was interested in. It may not have anything to do with you at all, he's just looking for booty right now, not for anything serious. Don't ever question whether NOT hooking up was the bad choice. If he's not interested in you simply because you didn't want to hook up on your first time hanging out, then he would've lost interest after the hook up anyway. If a guy likes you, not hooking up on the first night will not put him off. On to the next.

  • If I were you, I'd tell him that you like hanging out and talking to him...

    Tell him that you enjoy his company and you have fun with him.

    If he agrees, it'll get him thinking about actually liking you, which guys these days don't like to think about!

    Best way to have him actually like you is to not hook up with him just yet! It's a bad idea... always turns out bad when you hook up too early!

    Say something like "you can keep it in your pants for now" in a sexy way...

    That'll leave him guessing in a good way and he'll definitely call!

    He doesn't seem like he wants to go on a date though :/ which sucks but you could probably get him to by making him wait and engaging in conversations with him!

    Good luck :)

  • It's not rude to express your desires. That is being smart. It would be stupid as hell for you to accept what he gives you if you know you want more.

    When guys try to "chill" with me, I just tell them bluntly that I don't chill or hang out, I prefer to go on dates. After that it's up to him, we can either go on a proper date or I won't be spending time with him It works, sometimes you have to speak up for what you want out of life