I'm dating an older guy, how can I talk to my mother?

I am with a wonderful man, the only problem is that he is 29 and I am 19.My mother just found out and we will talk in the morning. I love him so much and will not let him go, even if it means I lose the use of the car for work and have to move out. I don't want it to come to that, so is there ANY advice you could give me, PLEASE, help me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • 10 years, in consideration, isn't that big an age gap. However you're still 19, and at such a young age age gaps are weird and sound wrong. You're also still fairly immature. You're not as much so as a 16 of 17 year old but still you don't know as much as you should, or could. To your mom you're still a little girl and you need to be protected and taken care of and protected. She sees this guy as an older man who's dangerous. He knows a lot about the world of dating, a lot of about how to use women, a lot about how to get what he wants and he might not actually care about you.

    The best thing to do is introduce him to your mom, spend some time together and let her get to know him. You can't expect her to trust someone so much older than you to take care of you without ulterior motives or such unless she meets him. That should alleviate a lot of the worry and conflict.

    And if not then talk to her about it, DON'T YELL. Don't accuse don't get angry, try to understand she knows the world and the nature of people better than you and to her this is just a predator who wants to use and hurt you. Talk to her about it like grown adults, don't get angry or pissy or upset and maybe she'll see that you're growing up and that you two really do care.


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What Guys Said 2

  • You have to at least bring the guy around mom so she can check him out. You were sneaking, which is bad and he was sneaking which is totally lame for a grown man.

    • I know :/ I was scared of my mother though... He didn't want to lie, I did. And he's willing to meet her, and I am too now that it's out. But what can I do to help her see my point?

    • Show All
    • Nope. He's a big boy, he should know what mom wants to hear.

    • Okay, thank you

  • Gold Digger at 19!


What Girls Said 1

  • This sounds a little like the beginning of "An Education."

    I agree that you should have him come and meet her.