What would you do? Has anyone experienced anything similar in the online dating realm?

I met a guy on a dating website, we chatted there for a long time, and corresponded over a period of about 7 months. Then we took it off line, via a pseudonym email I provided. We Instant Messaged, shared current photographs of each other. Shared our work background etc. He seemed like a great guy, a professional, we had a lot in common. He provided all his personal info on where he lived etc. etc.

Then he proceeded over the next 2 months to ask me a series of questions, like 20 questions. He asked his, and I asked mine...trying to get to know each other better.

Then one day he emailed his last batch of questions and they were well, sexual chemistry type questions...then he also sent an email of his "Pxxxs" and asked me for a picture of my bxxxxt.

What the heck! I was so surprised and shocked. I really was falling for this dude.

I'm a woman past 40 years of age, and he is as well. We are mature adults, but this doesn't seem right to me.

Has anyone experienced anything similar?

How would you approach all this?

End it immediately is my gut. I just never experienced this type of thing...and I'm a bit new in the online dating experience. He came across so sincere wanting a relationship. Then all of a sudden...this sexual stuff.



Most Helpful Guy

  • Are you sure it was him? I mean his account wasn't hacked or anything? It seems out of character and if nothing was like that before, I mean if he didn't indicate anything like that before then it is strange. I would talk to him first before ending it. Both of you have put a lot of time and effort into this. Maybe it was a misunderstanding.

    It does happen online a fair amount it seems but usually pretty quickly. Strange that it took so long for him to do that. Again, I think it was a misunderstanding or miscommunication.

    • Yes, I'm sure it was him. We started connecting over a period of months, then part way through we took probably a 2 month break and he contacted me again...we started reconnecting and I guess 2 months into that is when the question thing started.

    • Show All
    • You are more than welcome and I hope it works out for you.

    • I just feel that people should meet and actually have a live date and series of dates etc, etc...before something goes sexual. I mean it seems if you want "sex" as a guy/girl you could go online to a sex website or watch it on TV.

      I wanted to date the guy, have a live date etc. We had started talking about taking it live to meet each other when this happened. So I am real discourage that online dating is even real at this point. Thanks again.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • One thing I have learned in my life is to always trust your gut instinct, thinking too much puts you in danger. If your gut says to end it, do it, that is your instinct talking and your instinct always knows best.


What Girls Said 2

  • I would end it. I met my boyfriend on a dating website and we didn't talk sexual until after we met and became official. He may only be looking for sex? But that is so odd in your age bracket. I am 19 and my boyfriend 23 and you would expect that type of behavior from US not the otherway around.

    Sorry to hear what happened but I would end it and continue looking :) good luck!

    • Well, older people like sex too! I mean, the sex thing happens for everybody. I do agree that the behavior seemed more "college aged". I was surprised to have a professional, 40 plus year old guy do such a thing. We actually had quite a connection in our correspondence...anyway. Thanks for the suggestion.

    • I meant odd in your age bracket for his behavior lol. Everyone likes sex! No matter what age. But with age people tend not to conduct themselves in the manner that he did when he asked for photos.

    • I agree with you totally. I was surprised as well he would conduct himself in such a manner at that age. That's why I wanted some feed back on why he might be behaving in such a way. It seemed unusual and strange. Why do men want to do such a thing?

  • the guy I'm seeing right now tried to talk about sex about 2 weeks of online talking (we chatted everyday then)... I told him right off the bat that I don't talk about sex to strangers and would appreciate it if he refrain from talking about it again... he got my message, asked me out a week after that and we're still dating (6 months now)... however, now that we're together, it's something that we can talk about :) (he's not a stranger to me anymore, haha!)

    my gut feel then was I would have ended it right there and then if he pushed it... trust your instincts, it's rarely wrong, although it's also rarely clear enough for us to hear its voice :)

    • thanks, can I ask what age range you are in? Or what age range this guy is in?

    • im I'm 37 and he's 34