At what point in a relationship should the girl start calling the guy sometimes?

This is kind of an offshoot of a previous question that I asked. I know that there are girls who call guys early on in a relationship or even call and ask guys out. I'm not in that camp. I have always been in the girls-shouldn't-call-guys camp, so much so that I have a hard time calling or texting first and when I do I feel like I screwed things up. However, do you think there is a point in a relationship where a guy will start to pull out of a relationship if the girl he's dating never initiates a call or a text?

I'm wondering about this because a guy I've been dating for a couple months had been calling or texting me every day. He had taken me out to dinner with some of his family members, and he had introduced me to his 7-year-old daughter. One time he even told me to stop by his house "whenever," (which I can't even imagine doing without him specifically knowing that I'm coming over and when...but anyway). I'm not sure if any of those things meant anything serious to him, but I mention them to give some background info. Anyway, I travel for work, and the past 2 times I've gone out of town he hasn't called or texted at all. Today it's 3 days since I've heard from him. Last time we talked and last time I saw him everything seemed fine, so I'm trying to figure this out. Can anyone give me some advice?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think once you are in a relationship you can contact him whenever you want. I had a girlfriend who just would not contact her boyfriend first or even respond to some of his calls (not sure why she did that part) and guess what, they are getting married. I think when a guy is really in to you for the long-term, you not calling back is not going to turn him off. If he is on the fence about you, lack of contact will be a problem.

    In your situation, I would go ahead and give him a call. One call will not "screw" anything up. Call, see what happens but don't leave more than one message and let it go if he does not call you back while you are gone.

    Oh, and in our age group, the different things you mention about meeting family and the stop-by-my-house anytime really don't mean a lot. None of us think, at this age, that meeting the family means we are preparing for marriage. In our 20's it means a lot more in my experience. So, sounds like he likes you and he may be either busy or possibly things are cooling on his end. Give it some more time and you will know which is true.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Why can women not figure this out? Men don't want to be constantly chasing. Women want equality, they can call guys or text them without it being a reply.

    Although it's probably nothing bad going on in your case.

  • the relationship won't last if you never take the inititiative, he will grow tired eventually


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