Should I worry my boyfriend tried to punch me?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend was never violent but recently he got jealous and frustrated he had his hand ready to punch my face but he threw his fists at the wall rather than my face (thank god). I am not sure if i should be worried i was certainly startled and i hid my face away from him. It affected our relationship cause i am basically worried he would do it again every time he suddenly moves i would roll up to protect myself but he is feeling bad and he apologized for that he said he wouldn’t have actually punched me and he is sorry he scared me. I am not sure if i should be worried and i’m scared of making a wrong decision. Advice?

Updates:

[ohshee]

There is no wrong decision there's only one decision and that's to get away now we both know the answer to this question in a roundabout way you answered it yourself just by the words you used to ask the question you know for a fact it's going to happen again and again and again you need to understand the difference between love and control and out of control walk away from him now give him some space and let him win you back by the things he does to get you back not by the things that he says it's going to do to control you to stay you need to take control right now because his words and him crying and promising you he will never do it again you're going to believe him and it might take a little bit of time but he's going to do it. Let me ask you this does he have brothers and sisters does he have a single mom how does he talk to them is he out of control. Pitch bark and biting loud and obnoxious does he try to control his mom how loud does it get with her these are all warning signs how did you treat other people these are all warning signs

[TheorionMage]

He was expressing his frustrated controlling possessiveness with a demonstration of his potential to impart immediately-unstoppable injury for the purpose of INTIMIDATING you.

That intuitively he'd punch your face, to lessen your potential beauty and make you LESS ALLURING to others, so you'd STAY with him? "YES, you SHOULD be concerned.
Any subsequent apologies he's offered WAS TO COVER HIS ASS!

Having put on his 'dark side' show, IF YOU REMAIN... you can NO LONGER say, you DID NOT KNOW
he could BE that way. This Wolf's "Sheep's clothing" has slipped, and he's shown you his TRUE self.
Those who would ordinarily side WITH YOU would rightly question, "Then 'why' did you stay?

His reprise was... and hereafter WILL be: "When YOU behave that way, I can't control my emotions!
Don't YOU make ME BE like that." He's rationalizing HIS responsibilities on YOU.
YOU need to END your two's interactions... as become 'incompatible'.

HIS FAULT, NOT YOURS!

[Emii_Urashima]

Most guys who are abusive towards their girfriends try to hide that in the beginning as to not scare her off. He sounds like the type with an anger issue and will get much worse later on. There are plenty of guys out there who could not imagine striking a girl. You deserve better. No girl should be in fear of her boyfriend.

[loves2learn]

Yes. You should. Get out now? My friend. Much love. 🥰

[OlderAndWiser]

Being apologetic after something like this happens does not undo the harm that has been done. You ae afraid and you should be afraid! Do you what to marry this guy and have him be the role model for your future sons to learn how to treat women?

[NoLookingAtSoleil]

I don't know. Women regularly cheat, half cheat or start to line new boyfriends up, or conceive with someone else, and expect not to get beaten up.
You did give him reason to get furious, yes?
Are you asking if you are ok to cheat? Because you most certainly are not.

[ArztSchlachthof]

Well, these things usually end badly. I couldn't stay in a relationship like that, fearing he would lose his mind or get drunk and beat me like a dog.

If he tried it once, he might try it again, and they awfully often do. I'm sorry - my advice is to leave him. As for the question - yes, you should worry. But you know him better than we do, so it's your call whether or not he is capable of hurting you.

[Inexpensivefurniture]

Leave Leave Leave that is a MAJOR red flag and you should be worried that he will do it again or worse, hit you next time. Don't listen to his apologies, abusive people are great and apologizing without ever changing their behaviour. Seriously, I have seen enough people live through physical, sexual, and emotional abuse that starts like this. Leaving is not the wrong choice

[Birdlegs]

Ngl I’ve never almost punched anyone no matter my emotions at the time let alone a girl let alone alone my girlfriend. That’s really not a good sign in my opinion

[Andres77]

ANY physically violent reaction to an emotional event is a huge red flag.
Bullies like to intimidate.
If he thinks that his apology is enough he might escalate further in the future.
Let him know that you're extremely concerned.
If he ever touches you ONCE in anger you're done and then go report it immediately.

[kyleelyn199723]

Definitely concerning. A guy should look at your face and that should be enough for him not to think about raising a hand on you, even if he’s just going to punch a wall. Punching a wall is a sign of violent tendencies, so I would be careful

[OddBeMe]

His hesitation during immense frustration is the only reason I’m not saying “run.” But his anger mngt should be your main priority. Perhaps even threaten to leave to get him to cooperate in therapy.

[InfoLearner]

He apologized so you don't have to worry, and I think that he is just being protective towards you, he didn't really punch you, and he even apologized, I think that he loves you and wants you to be his only.

[Yourfriend2021]

Yes you should be worried and ask him to go to anger management classes if he wants to stay with you.

[AydenHazor]

That reaction, with hitting the wall, tend to be a precursor to abuse. I would recommend getting out as fast as you can

[TommyMountainFigure]

Get out of there and don't EVER look back. Any guy who could come that close to hitting a girl will at some point do so. Unless you want to live in fear, get away from him asap.

[Anonymous]

I've hit a wall a couple times in anger during an argument. Never ever thought of hitting her. Just an aggressive outlet for anger. Still... everyone is different.

[Anonymous]

I'd let him off the hook this one time, but if he ever does it again he's toast.

[Jamie05rhs]

Yes, you should be very worried. It's "nice" that he showed restraint, but that's still threatening behavior. And he could have done it on purpose to scare you and mess with your mind so that he can control you.

[lycanthrope3]

The fact that he drew his fist should be a warning, take it

[CasuallySamsonite]

Get out of there. Bail and bail hard. He ain't worth it.

[moviedude714]

Sounds like it'll only get worse, doesn't sound like he is a good partner

[RougeKage]

Uh yes next time you may not be as lucky

[Adam_West]

my advice is: kick his balls