Did I screw up by sending him an "are we still seeing each other" text?

I've been dating a guy for almost 3 months. At one point he had told me to stop by if I was ever bored, but I never did until last night. I had felt like he was pulling away (didn't make plans with me for this past weekend and didn't call/text while I way away on a trip). I hadn't seen him for about a week, so I stopped by unannounced last night. We ended up having sex and and I stayed the night. He told me he would call me later today. He didn't call all day but then at about 7:30 he sent a text. It said "Taken off camping the rest of the week, sorry...Have a good week and weekend..." I feel sick to my stomach that he sent this the day after we had sex (it wasn't the 1st time we had sex...3rd I think) I called him right away when I got the text, but he didn't answer. About 30 minutes later I sent him a text that said "Uh oh. That kinda sounds like you don't want to see each other anymore? Did I freak you out by stopping over last night? I felt all day like I shouldn't have done that. Sorry. I was just having fun :) Anyway, will you let me know so I'm not hanging? Don't worry...if it's bad news I can take it." Did I just screw up by sending that?

Ok, so the general consensus is that I really f***ed up, and I thank everyone for your (sometimes brutal) honesty. :) I haven't contacted him at all since that awful text I sent yesterday. He did eventually text me back last night (see below for details). What do you all think? Is there any possible way to salvage the situation? I'm thinking the best thing I can do is absolutely nothing at all and wait to see if he contacts me at some point. Or is that the wrong thing to do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • All he said was he was going on a camping trip. WTF? The man can't go on a trip? He didn't say he wanted to stop seeing you. That makes you seem WAY psycho. Chill out. Yeah he probably thinks you're crazy now. I mean he says he's going camping and you think that means he doesn't want to see you anymore?...where's the logic in that?...wow.

    • You're right. I freaked. :-( He did text me back. He said, "I didn't say I didn't want to see you again... Have a good night.." So now what would you do...apologize or just leave it up to him to text or call again after this 'incident'? I'm leaning toward leaving it up to him to get in touch again and apologizing then. What do you think?

    • Show All
    • Thanks for the advice! Wish I had posted the text here first *before* sending it lol

    • Lol yeah I've done that before. Sent a text and realizing I really shouldn't have sent that. Haha but you live and learn:)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Saying anything even remotely on this magnitude via text is a HORRIBLE idea. At least call him or something if you're going to ask him this. And yeah, you royally screwed this up. Sorry. The wording of your message makes you come off as paranoid and overly worrisome, which, to me, at least, is a massive turnoff.

    • I know! I know! I did try to call him right away, but he didn't answer. The wording of his message, though, makes it sound like he doesn't plan to communicate with me for the entire week and weekend, which is only concerning because he has called or texted me every day since we started going out 3 months ago (except this past week when I was gone). So I really do feel like something is going on with him, and I don't want to be left wondering! By the way, he hasn't responded to my text. :(

    • @QA: if he's camping he probably won't have cell phone service. And just because he won't contact you for just one week doesn't mean he doesn't like you...

  • Do nothing.

    But my prediction is you will find this impossible to do.

    Most women find it impossible.

  • It does sound like you're a bit of a basket case.

    This is why men dump crazy chicks like you.

    He sends "I've gone camping for the rest of the week"

    and you read that and have a major meltdown.

    Stop texting him your crazyness. Stop texting your apologies for your crazyness.

    Just stop being crazy and stop texting the poor guy.

    This is how you drive people away you know.


What Girls Said 2

  • No I don't think so. Just wait for him to come back from the camping trip and see what his answer.

    I think it normal for a girl to freak out and send some crazy texts. I did it so many times to my guy friend too. Lets me tell you one thing if a man don't want to see you he wouldn't allow to go to his house period. Sounds to me like you guy are not dating but occasionally sleeping together that it. Don't get mad just impression from your question.

  • I don't think so. You should be able to do that. By what he sent you about leaving for the weekend, it doesn't seem like he cared to be with you. I figured that if he really liked you, he would have texted you before saying goodbye.

    • OMG he's just going camping! It doesn't mean he doesn't care to be with her. He just wants to go camping...ugh seriously, I don't think it's that big of a deal..