How do I stop overthinking?

Question

So I’m in love with my crush. I just have yet to ask her out. Anyways, she gonna be gone for a month. I’m just worried that she’ll lose interest in me by the time she comes back. I’m also worried that her coworkers will try to make a move on her since they always try to flirt with her. I’m just feeling like shit right now.

Answer 1

btbc92

Influencer

Listen. Regarding your issues, you are not paying attention to what you're overthinking about, it's telling you something you need to hear.

1. You are in love with a person you don't even know.
2. It is a crush who again, just sounds like a crush you badly want, but still don't know.
3. You need to build a relationship with this person like everybody else. That means friendship, and getting to know a person first. Without that, you run this very risk as you just said, she can easily lose interest which is not a good thing in general because again, you are at her mercy. AND like you said your worried co-workers would like her or try to flirt. Again, it can tell you a LOT about her as a person and how she handles it.
4. While she is traveling away, you are already scared for reasons that may not be healthy.

In your situation, you have to remember your young. By young, I mean you have a lot to learn concerning love, relationships, etc and right now this sounds like infatuation and being in love with the idea of a person again you still barely know. The thing is are you prepared for possible rejection, and how will you handle it? What are your reasons for seeking a relationship or dating? And do you understand what it requires and who to look for? You have to figure that out first. The thing is you ask out a complete stranger who you don't really know. If there isn't much of a guarantee you are even compatible or even knowing what she wants, you may not be the only person she said either yes/no to. You want to be extremely careful with your emotions, your feelings, and who you try giving your heart to. It may be in your best interest to evaluate WHY you say you in love with her, and what things do you know about her that make you certain that person is exactly who you need to be serious with.

Now I am not telling you to not ask, because a risk is a risk anyway. You won't know unless you ask. But again, how badly do you really want this, and again are you prepared for that? because be if you are or not, she is going to have to live her life as you do as time keeps moving. I've learned as an overthinker, that it is not a matter of just overthinking depending on what it is. But what is the reason you overthinking, and what is it telling you? I realize taking the time to listen and actually evaluate those reasons, helps me make better choices and may help address some insecurities.

I believe your situation warrants overthinking and something for you to seriously think about rationally and logically. Respect your feelings, but don't always let them be the reason for the factors of your decision. Unless you sense something inutively, try to look at it from an objective standpoint, not emotionally. If it is badly affecting you, that may be a sign that you have to think about your wellbeing. It should not make you feel this way especially if you two aren't even close friends like that. The only way is maybe love at first sight, which is rare, or when you already have a close connection with each other as I said, friendship.

Even if others try to flirt with her, it is still ultimately her decision. And with that situation, that may not be a good thing in general because again for some it is about the attention from men if they like it. If you feel like you are being held back, that again, ay be a sign for you to not pursue. What does your gut say? Think about that.

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Answer 2

PoopyPoop

Xper 5

She might not even have an interest in the first place. There's nothing particularly bad about thinking too much as I see it beyond a slight waste of brainpower and time. There's something extremely bad about impractical thinking no matter how shallow or deep.

If you get practical in your thinking patterns, there is a girl you like. She may or may not like you the same way. But being practical also means realizing that life isn't that long and if she is attractive to anyone else but you, they might move in and sweep her away before you even get a chance to find out if you even had a chance. You snooze, you lose.

Impractical thinking tends to be the type that dissuades us from performing actions. Practical thinking encourages us to perform actions. It's not a matter of how little or how much you think. It's a function of how practically you think.

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PoopyPoop

6 mo
So if you are the type to focus enormous amounts of brainpower on problems where thinking more doesn't yield any sense of clarity or answers, then I suggest you strive to think more practically rather than think less. Overthinking as a psychological problem is not a symptom of thinking too much so much as thinking poorly. Think better.
PoopyPoop

6 mo
Overthinking in the psychological sense ties to negative emotions that inhibit productive actions. As a most extreme example, someone could "overthink" their way to the point of being paranoid of crossing the street on a green walking light because they just questioned all the possible ways they could get hit by a speeding car that ignores red traffic lights. If your thinking is fueling such paranoia, the problem isn't so much the quantity of thinking as the quality. The thinking is fueling superstitions, fears, jealousy, paranoia, anger, etc: negative things.

Answer 3

PoopyPoop

So if you are the type to focus enormous amounts of brainpower on problems where thinking more doesn't yield any sense of clarity or answers, then I suggest you strive to think more practically rather than think less. Overthinking as a psychological problem is not a symptom of thinking too much so much as thinking poorly. Think better.

Answer 4

PoopyPoop

Overthinking in the psychological sense ties to negative emotions that inhibit productive actions. As a most extreme example, someone could "overthink" their way to the point of being paranoid of crossing the street on a green walking light because they just questioned all the possible ways they could get hit by a speeding car that ignores red traffic lights. If your thinking is fueling such paranoia, the problem isn't so much the quantity of thinking as the quality. The thinking is fueling superstitions, fears, jealousy, paranoia, anger, etc: negative things.

Answer 5

Gwenhwyfar

Master

Ask her out before she leaves

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