Are guys incapable of just being friends?

I like having guy friends but they always end up being interested in me. Is it mean to continue talking to them and hanging out with them when they like me and I don't like them? I'm not trying to lead them on I just want to have a normal friendship with a guy without them getting all starry eyed and weird on me. Why can't guys just be friends?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I get what your saying, I have several male friends, however when we met I knew that they were interested and I was not. When they made advances I made it clear that I wanted to be only friends. Some no longer hung out, others continued to hang out. The ones that continued to hang out and accepted that we would only be friends are still some of my best friends to this day. I figure that the ones that no longer wanted to be friends because I was not interested were only wanting one thing any way and were only friendly when they thought they were going to get some. Men are going to be attracted to you but if they can't accept that you only want to be friends then they are not worth your time. If they really do like you for you then they will accept where you stand and continue to be your friend because they would rather be your friend than lose you altogether. Tell them where you stand and if they don't like it it was really not a loss because they were never really your friend. I know people are different but this was my experience.

    • That's abit unfair on the guy, just because a guy stops hanging out doesn't mean he only wanted on thing, if some girl I liked didn't like me I do the same, for the simple reason I couldn't be friends with someone I wanted to be closer with, I couldn't be friends knowing I'd eventually see her with someone else. Also do you not think some guys chose to hang out still in hope you'd eventually like them ? Some guys do that.

    • Iridescent47 you just made my point because you wanted to be closer (did you want a sexual relationship or did you only want to hold her hand?) and she did not you would end the relationship. Hence you were not really her friend to begin with as you saw her in a different light and only that light or you would have accepted the friend status. Also the men I am friends with have been around for ten to fifteen years now. They would have given up by now.

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What Guys Said 2

  • In my opinion is mainly the girl's fault. Once a guy expresses his feeling to the girl, in most ocassions the girl is incapable of acting normal around him and she starts acting all weird and quiet, where before she was chatty and funny. This has happened to me, I have no problems being friends with girls I'm not attracted to but if I'm attracted I'll eventually ask her out and if she says no, well, that's the end of that, even if we had a great friendship before that. I don't have any regrets, I would rather tell her how I feel than save it and see her going out with somebody else.

    • I act the same, so I was wondering if that's kind of mean... like unfair to them

      when you say that's the end of that do you mean of the friendship or...

      Also it isn't me who starts acting weird, they start staring at me all the time and hinting at stuff, eventually it ruins the friendship

    • Yeah, the end of the friendship. I mean, I like being friends with certain kinds of people, they have certain qualities, but when they start hiding those qualities as to not "lead me on", I just can't trust them anymore, if two people can't be themselves around each other, what's the point of being friends? Avoidance, can't talk to each other, second guessing everything the other does, who needs that?

  • been honest I would love to have one really close girl as a friend so that I could ask her things and tell her things

    • That's awesome! That's exactly what I want with these guys. We get really close and then they ruin it all. I've been like best friends with this one guy for ages and all the sudden he's telling people that I like him and sh*t. And now whenever we hang out I feel like everyone's watching just feels dumb

    • thats bad enough on ya I wish I did have a close girl friend do

What Girls Said 1

  • I have many guy friends but I have 3 extremely close guy friends...

    One is like a brother to me... He's great to me he doesn’t flirt but is very supportive to me in all ways.

    the other is a man whom I knew many years we sadly rebounded our of relationships and got involved a short time... when we knew that was not right for us we struggled a bit but now we look past it and were great friends.

    The 3rd man – I know I love. I fear I am falling in love with… He’s amazing… He calls me his best friend & he is my best friend. I adore him. I even tried to tell myself it was a crush only. But I am in my mid 30’s it is not a crush. I think he had feelings for me but keeps a bit of a distance as he says I need to wait a year to date anyone.

    It really just depends on the situation and the other person. We are all so different but I think yes guys are able to be JUST friends…

    • Okay, that sounds great for you! Maybe my guy friends are just still kind of immature and when we're older things will be fine. (I hope)

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